This Is Me
by Teri1022
Summary: 50 yrs after Breaking Dawn: What if a vampire bite didn't kill a shape shifter? What if our kindest character became our meanest? Meet a darker, more dangerous Seth Clearwater and Jake and Nessie's daughter, Lizzie. She's kind, innocent and not physically strong. Can she save our Seth? Includes the entire Cullen clan. Warning: It's not easy to read about this Seth! Lemons
1. Chapter 1-Nothing

**A/N: So, this is my first try at writing. While I am open to criticism, both good and bad, please make sure it is constructive. **

**If you read the poorly written summary, you know that this story is based around the entire Cullen clan, both known members (thanks to the lovely writing of Stephenie Meyer) and some I've made up. But, the main character, at this point is Seth Clearwater. But, not the Seth we all know and love, a different, darker Seth. Something has happened to him, long ago and made him this way. You'll find out later exactly what that something was. **

**This does take place 50 years after Breaking Dawn and although I'm sure the world will be a somewhat different place, we will assume the world looks the same. No flying cars or anything like that. No dramatic environment changes, no robots walking around, etc. **

**I will be telling the story of the past 50 years in a retrospective manner. Looking back, through present moments of reflection. This first chapter is just to get things going, no looking back quite yet. **

**Please be aware that this story is rated "M" meaning that if you aren't of legal age, you shouldn't read it. Expect profanity, lots of lemons, death, violence . . . the whole thing, you get the idea. Even this chapter is dark.**

**I want to give a shout out, not only to SM, but also to my favorite fanfic authors (see my profile) for inspiring me to write. I've read your stories and you are all so talented. I hope that someone will enjoy reading my story at least half as much as I've enjoyed reading yours! I think you have a lot of courage to put yourselves out there and you've inspired me to do the same. **

**So, I'm not really sure what else to say and don't really know if anyone will like it, but I can't help but try. I've had this idea in my head now for like 4 years and I'm tired of it just stewing there, so here goes nothing . . . **

Chapter 1 - Nothing

I rolled off her. She was still moaning and shaking, practically convulsing. Clearly, she had enjoyed it. Me? Well, I was left feeling the same as I had been for the last 20 years or so – numb, and not the good kind of numb. The numb that tells a person that they can't feel anything, because they aren't anything. Sex was meant to please the body and the mind. And, yet, there were absolutely no feelings of pleasure on my side of things.

Don't get me wrong. Everything physically worked fine. Getting hard wasn't the problem. Lasting wasn't the problem. Making her cum wasn't the problem. I had just stopped enjoying sex long ago. I couldn't even tell you why I still did it. I guess it was my hopeless attempt to feel something, to feel anything. But, no. Nothing. That's all there was – nothing.

"Wow! You are a sex god!" she exclaimed. Guess that should've made me feel better, made me sense something, but all I got was the numbness. I screwed my face into a menacing grimace. She was so far gone, she didn't even seem to notice. "Seriously! How . . . ? How . . . ? I mean . . . Oh, God."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and to wash whatever-her-name was off of me. I had picked her up last night at some bar off I-55. I turned the water on-maximum heat. I watched as the steam filled the room, clouding the mirrors. I stepped inside the shower and under the falling water. I closed my eyes, hoping to feel a burning shock of pain. But, nothing.

Frustrated, I quickly flicked the nozzle to the coldest temperature possible. _C'mon. C'mon. C'mon. Feel. Feel. Feel! _Sharp icicles stabbing my skin-that's what I wanted to feel. I would take it. Pain, gut-wrenching pain even. I would take anything over nothing. But, again, that's all there was-nothing. You would think after twenty years I would be used to it and stop even hoping for it, but I couldn't. I couldn't . . .

I heard her get out of bed, my super senses jumping to action. _Don't come in here. Do not come in here_, I thought. The shower door opened. _Son of a bitch!_

"I found you!" she giggled, in her dumb-ass way. She was the picture perfect image of a bimbo. I forced myself not to look too disgusted, trying to remind myself that it wasn't her fault that I was a monster that couldn't have normal human reactions. "You made me cum so many times," she purred.

I think she was trying for round two: shower sex. I wasn't biting at that hook. She must have noticed that I was not joining her in the post-sex high. "Are you okay?" she asked.

I didn't say anything, just turned my back and finished rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. She put her arms around me. "Did you enjoy it? I mean . . . you came, right?" she questioned. I let my arms fall by my sides and decided against making her feel as shitty as I did.

"Yea. Yea, it was great. You were great," I lied, and I'm sure not very convincingly. Truth be told, I wouldn't know what great was anymore. And, no, I hadn't orgasmed. I hadn't orgasmed in 20 years, well give or take a day or two. Sex, whether it be oral, vaginal or anal never worked. Hand-jobs? Nope. Masturbation was just as useless. Porn, toys, S and M, role playing, threesomes, foursomes, you get the idea - nothing worked. I couldn't get there anymore.

At one point, I started questioning my sexuality. Was I gay? I had nothing against those who were, but I had never thought I would be. So, I tried watching some gay porn and after about two minutes, I gave up on that. Definitely not my thing. At least with women there was some arousal, how else could I get hard? Just no big finale.

I felt her relax a little, clearly pacified, believing that I had enjoyed myself. She started placing small kisses along my back. I tensed. I hated how I felt about her in that moment. I was disgusted by her. I wanted her hands off of me immediately. I was getting more and more pissed off by the second. Before something bad happened, I needed to get out of there. I pulled her arms, as gently as I could, from around me. I didn't want to physically hurt this woman, so I kept chanting to myself: _It's not her fault. It's not her fault. _

Stepping out of the shower, I said, "I've got to go." I closed the door, leaving her looking upset and confused.

The water was turned off and she stepped out. I quickly began to towel myself off and dress myself. "So . . . " she said, trailing off and looking very uncomfortable, as they always did at this point. I sat on the edge of her bed, tying my shoes. I looked up at her expectantly, waiting for her to finish, to ask me if I would call her or when we would see each other again.

And as expected, she asked, "So, do you want my number or maybe, do you have facebook?"

I took a deep breath. I really didn't like this part. I didn't want to be a heartbreaker, but I also never wanted to see her face again. "No. No, I don't.," I paused, speaking in a low and calm voice. "And, let me tell you why. I am the ultimate asshole. I will never be able to make you happy and I don't want to even try. So, let's just leave it at great sex. That's what this was and nothing more. Now, you can keep this to yourself or go and tell your friends about the jackass you had to deal with this weekend. I don't really care. You are a nice person and I'm certainly not going to lie to you and tell you something I think you want to hear right now. So, no. I won't call you. You won't call me. You won't facebook me. I won't facebook you and we will never see each other again." I didn't even wait to hear what she said, or wait for the tears to start falling. I grabbed my wallet and cell off the nightstand, shoved them into my pocket and walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry," I whispered lowly, knowing that she couldn't have possibly heard. I didn't want her to hear, to think even for a second, that I hadn't meant what I said. Because, I had. I never wanted to look into that face of hers again.

So, yea. This is me. I am a jerk. I am an asshole. I am a dick. I am nothing. I am Seth Clearwater.

***A/N: So, with a lot of nervousness, I'm about to post my first chapter. Ah! Please review and like I stated earlier, all criticism is welcome as long as it is constructive! Thanks so much for giving me a chance! **


	2. Chapter 2-Monster

***A/N: So, this is what happens when a teacher has two weeks off for Easter break. I feel like I want to keep writing so that's what I'm going to do! **

**Also, just to inform: the entire story will be told in multiple points of view. This chapter however will continue from Seth's POV. **

**This chapter is quite dark, so be prepared. I hope you like it!**

Chapter 2-Monster

"Seth!" Jake screamed. "Seth, man. C'mon!" I could hear him desperately calling for Carlisle. "Don't you fucking die, Seth. Do you hear me? Seth!" Jake continued shouting.

I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that I would die for her, too. That I loved her, too. Of course, he knew that. The whole pack knew that I was in love with her. Some things could be hidden, but you couldn't hide such strong thoughts and feelings: feelings of love, feelings of passion, feelings of obsession.

"Seth! Please, please help him!" she cried, begging for _me_. _For me._ "Please, God! No, no, no. Seth!" I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her not to shed one more tear for me, but then again, it felt so good to hear her screaming my name.

"Honey, give Carlisle some room," said Bella. "Seth needs Carlisle's help."

"Can he save him?" she asked, sobbing. There was a pause, for how long I'm not sure. I waited for the answer, too. There never was an official yes or no, but the look on their faces must have been bad. She broke out in hysterics a second later.

After a few more seconds, I was no longer aware of anything happening around me. All I felt was pain. All I saw was black. All I heard were my own screams. And then I realized I was alone and I was in hell. I was burning from the inside out in the deep and dark pits of hell.

I snapped back to the present. The smell of fresh blood pulling me to the here and now. I stood outside of the poor bimbo's house, allowing the pouring rain to run down me. Only better to wash her scent off. One shower just couldn't cut it.

I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply, searching for the trail to the blood I was sure I needed. It smelled divine. I may not have had pleasure from an orgasm in the past two decades, but this-this was where I got my satisfaction.

The downpour made it a little more difficult to track the unfortunate, unsuspecting source of the blood, but it wasn't long before I caught the scent. My eyes popped open, a growl escaped through my clenched teeth and I began to run down the street. Normal speed for me, but human eyes would have never detected me.

Half a mile, and only a few seconds later, I stood at a slightly cracked window of a perfect, little, white house. Inside, I could see the kitchen and what I assumed to be the homemaker of the place. She stood there-A tall, beautiful, long-and-black-haired woman with pretty blue eyes and gorgeous, soft lips. _Just my type._ She had on an apron, protecting her clothes from splashes of juice from the tomato she had been cutting.

"Ah! Shit!" she cried, examining the rather deep cut that she had sliced into her hand.

_That'll need stitches_, I thought. _Okay, Clearwater. Just a little bite. Take a liter, maybe two. No killing. No one dies today. _

A second later, I was in her home. I had gone through the front door of her tiny, country home and had come to stand directly behind her. She quickly sensed it, like most of them do and turned. She jumped and started to scream, but I grabbed her tightly and placed my hand over her mouth. "Shhh…," I trailed. I smiled a little crooked smile and she relaxed.

I sensed it then. It was almost immediate-that effect I had on women. She was aroused. She couldn't help it. As I had learned over the last 25 years or so, no woman could. I was irresistible to them, and even some men. I softened my grip on her and with one hand, I ran my fingers through her beautiful hair and with the other, I held firmly on to her neck.

"I'm just gonna have a little bite," I promised her. "Just a little bite. Then, I'm going to leave and you are not going to remember me, okay? You are going to go to the hospital and get stitches and come back here and finish making your lovely dinner."

Her eyes glazed over and she nodded. Mind control-works every time. She smiled slightly and let out an audible sigh

I needed human blood. Animal blood didn't work for me. It had to be human. However, I didn't have to kill. If I could control myself, I could just take a little and survive. I didn't need a lot.

Then, there was the mind control. I could make her believe anything I wanted, so that eliminated the chance of her running through the street afterwards screaming vampire. The Volturi sure as hell wouldn't have allowed that.

Afterwards, I would just seal that little wound I was about to make with just enough venom to heal it and I'd be outta there. _Just a little_, I reminded myself.

But, there was a problem . . . stopping.

I parted my lips, felt my incisors extend and heard the growl erupt from my chest at the exact moment I penetrated that perfect spot: the pulsating beacon on her sexy neck. The blood hit my lips, my tongue, the back of my throat, my stomach . . . and I was in a state of oblivion. Soaring and reeling from the delectable taste of her blood. The red liquid rushed through my body and immediately, I felt stronger, sharper. This was better than an orgasm. This was heaven. This was everything I ever needed. And she tasted good, so good. Too good . . .

I finally stopped and softened my grip on her. I let my head fall back and rejoiced in the feeling of pure satisfaction. I smiled. I sighed. I felt perfect. _Heal the wound and send her to the hospital_, I told myself.

I looked down at the woman in my arms, ready to fix her and send her on her way, but there was nothing to heal. She wouldn't be going anywhere anymore, only into the ground. I had killed her. I had drained every drop of blood that she'd had in her tiny body. There was no pulse. There was no life. There was nothing. Just a corpse in my arms.

"Oh, God. No. No, not again," I cried, panicking. "No. No. No. NO!" I allowed myself to panic for only a moment and then did what I knew I had to do.

I took her body deep into the forest and burnt it, buried all ashes and bones that were left and walked away.

The rain was still falling. I don't know how long I had been walking before I dropped to my knees, surrounded by nothing by miles and miles of forestry. "Monster," I whispered. I stared at the ground. "Monster. Monster. Monster!"

I threw my head back and screamed to the sky filled with dark clouds and water. If I could have cried, I would have. I hated myself. Despised myself. Loathed myself.

I stood up and ran as fast as I possibly could. I ran through boulders, trees, anything I could find, trying to cause myself pain. To hurt myself. To punish myself. But, it was useless. I didn't hurt, at least not on the outside.

I soon found a small, run-down, vacant cabin out in the woods. I went in. There wasn't much-an old cot, a once four-legged table that now only had three legs and was lying on it's side, a fireplace, a small, rusted sink sitting right next to an antique, fire stove and a tiny mirror hanging on the wall.

Again, I dropped to my knees. I grabbed my lighter from my pocket. _Please work_, I thought. I flicked it and the flame burst alive. I held it out and then stuck my hand in it and hoped.

_Please, God, or whoever is listening. Please take me. Don't make me suffer anymore. Don't let me hurt anyone else. Please. Please. Please._

But, like always, nothing happened. Fire didn't destroy me. As far as I knew, nothing did. I shouted in frustration and anger. There was no escape. I threw the lighter across the cabin. It went right through the wall and a couple of the trees behind it, leaving gaping holes where wood had once been.

I stood up and walked over to the mirror. It had been years since I had done this. I wiped the thick layer of dust from it and looked at myself.

"Seth? Seth, open your eyes. Can you hear me?" her voice had been slowly pulling me out of hell. And, after God only knows how long, I finally felt free of the burning chains and gave in. I opened my eyes.

Everything was clearer, sharper. I felt invincible.

"Seth?" This time it was a whisper. I turned my head and there she was. My angel. Her voice chiming in more beautiful that I could ever remember.

"Renesmee?" I asked, sounding very different to myself.

"Seth!" she cried with tears in her eyes, although she was smiling from ear to ear. "Oh my Seth! He's awake!" she shouted.

I got up from the table that someone had laid me on more quickly that I thought possible and I scanned the room. Edward was there, with a kind, but weary smile on his face, beside him, stood Bella, looking relieved. Then, they all came in: Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose. They smiled reassuringly, but looked a little unsure of something.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did we kill them all? Was anyone hurt? I mean, besides me." That's when it hit me. I had been bitten. I should be dead. But, I wasn't. My heart was beating. I looked quickly across the room to the mirror and there someone stood.

"Is that me?" I asked, stupidly. Again, sounding like I had a deeper voice than I remembered ever having. It was a bass so deep, I could've made the windows vibrate.

Carlisle stepped forward. "Seth. We know that you probably have a lot of questions. So do we. You were bitten and although the Quileute legends say you should be dead . . . well, as you can see that's just not true. You've changed dramatically, as you can see."

And I had. I was much taller, probably seven feet. I was huge. More muscular than before. My coal-black hair had grown out to my chin. My eyes were black, pitch black. "But, how . . .?" I started to ask something, but quickly stopped as my eyes had caught something in the mirror as I spoke. I opened my mouth farther and saw my elongated teeth, my fangs. "What the fuck?"

"You are not human or shape shifter anymore and you are not like us either," said Carlisle, stating the obvious.

I turned him, ready to ask a question, but unsure of if I was ready to hear the answer. "So, what am I?"

I stared back at myself in the dusty mirror, coming back from my memory and answering myself from over 25 years ago, "You are a monster."

***A/N: So, before you start cursing my name, please trust that I will make everything okay, more than okay even in Seth's future. As you can see, for now, this story is dark. I wasn't sure how to categorize it, because eventually we will find some romance, angst, horror, suspense, hurt/comfort, family….there's just a little bit of everything in here. **

**Oh and don't get too freaked about Renesmee being his angel. She is still Jake's imprint. You'll see!**

**And, I know I'm breaking far from SM's vampires, but it is intentional. So, don't think I don't' know what the vampires are like in SM's world. I do. I'm just bringing my own spice to the recipe. Remember, Seth is something different! **

**I hope you are liking it! Please review and help me to make my writing better!**


	3. Chapter 3-Birthdays and a Phone Call

***A/N: I just can't stop! I feel like if I wait I'll just explode! Yea…you can tell I'm a new, overzealous writer! What a newborn, huh?**

**I just noticed that in my last chapter, the lines I had put in there to show where the past and present were separated didn't go through when I posted it. I suppose that's normal. Sorry about that and I'm going to try and make that clearer in the future. **

Chapter 3 – Birthdays and A Phone Call

Jacob's POV

_Twenty years ago . . . _

"Get her out! She's going to die! Grandpa, please!" Renesmee lied there, desperately begging for someone to save our daughter. I held her hand and tried to comfort her as Carlisle and Bella worked frantically around Renesmee.

"Breathe, honey," I whispered in her ear.

"Don't you fucking tell me to breathe! Do something!" she screamed at me, although I knew it was just her fear driving her to say those hurtful words. Still, I would have preferred for her to punch me right in the face than to yell at me.

"Renesmee, you need to calm down," Carlisle told her.

"Carlisle, we have to give her an epidural," insisted Bella.

"No!" shouted Nessie. "There's not enough time. Just get her out!"

I cringed. I couldn't bear the thought of my Nessie in pain. It was hard enough watching her give birth naturally, knowing she was suffering. But, this? This was just too much. I had seen this done once before and well, I knew that if it ended the way it had last time I would die right there.

The other three times had gone so well. Nessie had given me three perfect boys.

"But, sweetheart," began Bella, "it would be better for the both of you if we could calmly and safely . . . "

"Mama! What part of get her out now do you not understand?"

"She's right," said Carlisle. "We have to hurry." Bella did not look so certain, but I suppose as she remembered being in Nessie's spot, she understood where Ness was coming from.

I, on the other hand, was not convinced. I opened my mouth to protest, but quickly shut it when I saw Nessie glaring at me. "Not one word," she warned. I had never seen her so dominant. That was my job in the relationship.

But, who the hell was I kidding? She of course ruled me, not the other way around. If I was dominant, it was only because she allowed it. So, I just nodded my head and kept quiet.

And what would I have said? I couldn't have told her we'd try again. I knew there would never be another again. Nessie had been going through menopause when we'd conceived this time. I hadn't even known what menopause was, but apparently it's very easy to get pregnant during that time. Nessie had grown and matured so fast, that at the current age of 30, she would stop menstruating. Something she was very happy about. Her periods had always been pretty rough, rougher even than the average human female.

So, it shocked and thrilled the entire family when we learned that Ness was pregnant with a little girl. I had my three boys, but now I was going to have a tiny, darling, baby Nessie. I hoped that she'd look exactly like her mother. Everything had gone smoothly up until today. We expected that like with the last three pregnancies, Nessie would carry her for three months and then give birth. But, only two and a half months had passed. It was too soon.

Ness had been complaining for the last several days that she felt intense pains in her abdomen. She'd said it felt better when she was up walking around. Then, she complained about not getting enough fresh air for a long while. "I'm going outside to walk and so help me, if anyone tries to stop me, I'm taking off a limb!" She'd threatened.

It was while she was slowly circling the house with all the women in the family protecting her like guard dogs, that she felt it burst. Her water. Then, she had experienced a horrible pain and began bleeding intensely.

I heard the ripping and Nessie's screams then and I tried harder to focus on what was happening in the moment. It was like being forced into my worst nightmare, a nightmare I had once lived. Only this time, it was so much worse. This was my Nessie. I kept my eyes locked on Nessie's face and tried to stay focused and prepared for anything that might happen. Looking into her big, chocolate-brown eyes, I saw Bella nearly 30 years before, when she had so determinately given birth to my Nessie.

_Please, God. Please don't take her away from me. If you have to take someone, take me. Not her. I beg of you. _I chanted those words over and over and over again in my mind, while Carlisle and Bella ripped and tore their way through my reason for existing. She shrieked in agony and began coughing up small amounts of blood. I held her head up and supported her body, trying to keep her from suffocating on her own blood. It was chaos and for me, it was hell.

And then, as quickly as it began, it was over. The room was quiet for a second. Then, I heard her cry.

Bella let out a small cry of joy, and said, "My granddaughter!"

My head turned and I saw her in my best friend's arms. My best friend was the grandmother to my child. That thought never ceased to shock the hell out of me. Bella turned and locked eyes with her daughter, pride and wonder glowing from her rock-hard, porcelain face.

"Oh, my Nessie! You did it, baby! She's here. She's here and she's safe," cried Bella. She then looked at me and smiled from ear to ear. "Congratulations, Jake!"

I could see Carlisle injecting Ness with venom around her wounds. She would be okay. After all those years thinking venom could hurt Ness, we never would have imagined that it would be her miracle medicine. Not until that car accident about 40 years ago. I shuddered. I didn't want to think about that. Not now anyway. The venom would heal her quickly, without changing her.

We'd been wrong about a lot of things when it came to vampire venom. Seth's face popped into my mind, but I quickly pushed it away. He'd called me today. He only called on this day. Every year. That was a painful, depressing story that I didn't want staining this moment. So, instead I focused on Ness.

"How long, Carlisle?" I wanted an estimate of exactly how long he thought it would take for her to be as good as new.

"Oh, about an hour I would say."

I relaxed a little, but infinitesimally. I looked at Ness who was now with our baby daughter in her arms. Bella stood beside her, helping her. Ness couldn't have been happier. She had always wanted a baby girl. She loved our boys more than anything, but I think she had always felt that something was missing.

Again, I swear that girl is a mind reader like her father; she turned me to and said, "I'm complete now. We are complete." She looked back down at the little girl in her arms and looked more tranquil than I had seen her in a long while.

Just then, a panicked look crossed Bella's face. Then, Carlisle's head shot up. I wasn't sure what it was, but not even a second later, Ness and I heard it. It was a failing heart. My daughter's heart. Bella quickly snatched her out of Ness's arms and ran to Carlisle. Edward was through the door in the same second.

"Jacob! What's happening?" Ness asked. She was terrified. I stayed by her side, still supporting her body up.

"I don't know baby." And I hadn't known. I would have never guessed what was to come. Living 30 years with a bunch of creatures that never got sick or had health problems, I would have never imagined my daughter that way. But, she was. She was born too early and wasn't developed properly.

We spent the next several weeks after that day by the incubator. We didn't have the confidence to try venom. What if it poisoned her? What if she became like Edward and Bella and all of them? Or worse, unthinkable even, what if she became like Seth? And, how would that even work? She was only a few weeks old.

But, we got lucky. As we usually do. God heard us, so Esme says. She grew up. She had defects though. She had a slight limp and was not near as fast or fluid as the rest of us were. She wore glasses, her eyesight being much worse than any of ours. She couldn't hear very well.

But, she was very intelligent and determined, and her gift-or should I say gifts. They made her more spectacular than any of us. She was our princess, our miracle. And, she was my gift, because you see, the day she was born, that had been my birthday. Our birthday: Elizabeth's and mine.

_The Present . . . _

Elizabeth POV

"I told you I don't like big crowds," I said to my aunt Alice.

"And I told you that you will have a great time!"

"I've seen it, too and no, I won't." I told her. "Just because you will have a great time, doesn't mean I will. Aunt Alice, please don't make me go to this thing."

"Elizabeth. I am not arguing this with you. Now why don't you have a look yourself and see who will win," she suggested, waiting for me to peek into our future. I sighed after I saw it. I should know by now that there is just no winning with her.

She grinned devilishly. "That's what I thought. Now, finish getting ready and come downstairs. Everyone is already here and they all brought presents from the list I gave them of the things that I saw that you were going to tell me to write down."

I thought about that sentence for a second and shook my head. _This family is way too weird! _

Aunt Alice left the room and I stood up from my vanity to put on the outfit that she'd laid out for me. She knew my tastes well, simple, yet feminine. It was a classic, baby green A-length skirt. Everyone told me green was my color. That it went well with my emerald green eyes. Apparently, I had gotten those from my grandpa Edward, or Poppy as I called him.

I slipped the dress carefully over my head, trying not to screw up my make up or hair. Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice would kill me if I'd messed up their masterpieces. I put on the small black pumps that she left by the bed and the black jewelry to match. I put on my tiny, black-framed glasses and headed over to my ballerina mirror to check myself out.

Everyone told me I was beautiful. And I knew for a fact that men thought I was sexy. I'd heard it in their heads, along with some other rather inappropriate things, which is why I avoid using Poppy's gift as much as possible.

I had long, black hair with highlights of bronze. It fell to my waist, full of body and large, soft waves. I wasn't as tall as my mom or my grandma. I barely surpassed my Aunt Alice, but I did, scaling in at exactly 5 feet tall. I liked to remind her that she was still and would always be shorter than I.

I was curvier than the rest of the girls in my family. When I was younger, I used to think I was fat. It's hard to have a good level of self-confidence when you live in a family of literally perfect creatures. But, everyone just convinced me I was "curvier," not "fatter." After a few years, I accepted it. I know now that I have the curves that today's society calls "sexy." Aunt Alice is always pouting over not having my boobs.

Despite it all, I have an impossibly tiny waist and a very attractive long neck. And, my face is sculpted softly, nothing too sharp. While my brothers all have deep dark skin like my Daddy, mine is a pale, olive tone. They looked more Quileute and I looked more Caucasian. I sighed. I guess in my own way, I am beautiful.

But, I never feel confident in this family. I'm the weakest in so many ways and I'm alone. All the others have mates, but not me. I had met every half-vampire, vampire and shape shifter known in the world-and, nothing. No one has fallen in love with me. No one has imprinted on me and no one has even looked twice at me. A human for me was out of the question.

I'm just the freaky Cullen-Black hybrid girl who limps when she runs and with one touch can copy and use just about anyone's gift. Except my Grandma's. For whatever reason, I was never able to absorb her gift. I don't take the gift away from anyone. They still have it, too. It's more like I have the ability to learn other's abilities and then use them. Although, while most use their abilities without conscience effort, I have to make the choice to pull out a gift and use it. It's there in my mind, but if I'm not focused on using it in the moment, it won't just come to me.

"Perhaps it's just not developed, yet," said my Poppy, standing in the doorway. I turned and smiled at him. He waited for me to invite him.

"Come in, please," I told him.

"And you know, I waited for a century to find your grandmother, but eventually, she showed up and so will he," he said. "Just be patient."

I smiled. I loved my grandfather so much. He was so wonderful to me and I was his favorite. I knew from being in his head, but I would never tell my brothers.

He chuckled, obviously having heard my last thought. "Please don't. It is true in life we all have our favorites. We just can't help it." He held out a small Tiffany box. I opened it to find a stunning pair of diamond stud earrings. You would think that I would have been used to being showered with gifts, but no. I was still shocked when I received something like this.

"Oh, Poppy! They are beautiful! Just gorgeous! Thank you so much!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him. He laughed and hugged me tighter.

"It's my pleasure, my little Lizzie." I put the earrings on and took one last look at myself in the mirror. Poppy offered me his arm and I took it. As we were heading out, Daddy met us at the door.

"Are you ready, baby?" He asked. I nodded, but without a shred of enthusiasm. Daddy and Poppy both laughed and Daddy took my other arm and said softly,"Happy 20th Birthday, my little gift."

I smiled up at him, "You too, Daddy! Happy 66th Birthday! Still looking pretty good there, old man!" I joked.

"Ha! Funny," he said.

Just then, Daddy's cell rang. He fished it out of his jeans and smiled sadly when he saw the caller. He looked over to Poppy and said, "Like clockwork. He never misses my birthday."

I opened my mind to Daddy's and saw his face: Seth. I didn't know him personally, but I had heard stories. Stories of an unknown creature. Stories of a lost friend. Stories of a killer.

Seth's POV

I waited for him to pick up. I knew he would, whether he wanted to or not. Wouldn't blame him if he didn't, not after what happened the last time I saw him. While I waited, I stared through the hole in the wall that my lighter had made earlier.

I had left the cabin after that little incident, went to get some tequila, but decided to return there for the night. After all, such fine accommodations shouldn't be wasted.

Speaking of wasted . . . I was far past it. I picked up the tequila bottle and slowly began to crush it, until it was nothing but glass dust.

"Hello?" Jake answered.

"Happy Birthday, alpha man," I said a bit too sarcastically, my voice sounding far more depressed than I was meaning it to. Just because my day had been fucked up, didn't mean I had to ruin his. Or maybe it did.

"Thank you." He didn't sound too happy to hear from me. He never did. Then again, I wasn't too fucking happy to talk to him, either, but for some reason I always called on this day. "So, how you been, man?" He asked me.

"Ah. Same old, same old. Little traveling, little fucking, little killing . . . you know how it is," I replied, trying to get under his skin a little.

He didn't say anything for a minute. I waited.

"Yea, well. It's nice to talk to you too, Seth," he replied, far too cheerfully.

Fucking pissed me off! Why wouldn't he get a little mad? Yell, shout, do something! But, no. It was like this every year. I guess when you have an imprint making you cum every day and a picture fucking perfect family kissing your ass all day, every day; well, I guess you just don't have any reason to get pissed.

"So, got big plans for the night?" I asked.

"Yep. Got us a big party going on here. You know it's my daughter's birthday, too." Yea. Yea. I knew. He has a flawless daughter who is just his little "gift" of life. "She's twenty today!" He continued.

Then, my liquid courage hit its peak. "Let me . . . Let me talk to her," I replied, rather roughly.

"What? No. No, I don't think so, Seth."

"Why not?" I slurred. "She deserves some special Happy Birthday wishes, too!" I knew I was about to go too far, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to get to him. This was the way-his precious, darling daughter.

"Because, Seth. I just don't think that's a good idea. Look, man. You sound way past drunk, so do yourself a favor and just go lie down and get some sleep. Alright? Thanks for calling and . . . "

"Afraid if she talks to me, she might get a little too excited there, Daddy?" I pushed, laughing my ass off.

There was more silence. A minute or so passed.

"Listen, Seth. You are my friend and I know things are different now, but you can't say shit like that!" He whispered, too calmly for my tastes.

"Why?" I asked, putting as much acid into my voice as I could find. "Are you so afraid of losing your little girl?" My voice began to rise. I heard him moving around, his breathing becoming more ragged. Finally! After all these years. _Yea. Get mad. Get mad, asshole, _I thought.

"Seth? I'm warning you man. Stop right there. Hang up and go to bed!" I could hear Renesmee calling after him, asking him why he was going outside. He was moving fast, the wind blowing into the phone.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was already feeling a little guilty, but I couldn't stop him. The devil inside me was taking over and he liked mayhem. So, I decided to drive the nail in with what I figured would be the last pounding of the hammer.

"Okay. Okay. I'll go to bed, but before I do I just want to say Happy Birthday once more to you and to ask you one question, alright?"

He was silent for a moment and then said, "Alright, man. What's up?" I could hear he'd stopped walking.

I threw it out there quickly. "Is your daughter's hymen still intact, because I think that with a little effort I could easily . . " I didn't have to go any further. I heard the shredding of clothes and the deep growls of the alpha. He'd phased, but I knew he could still hear me. I spoke softly, but deeply and seductively into the phone. "Tell her Seth said he wishes her a very special and Happy Birthday."

With that, I snapped the phone shut. I laughed, but not a happy laugh. I wasn't happy. I stood up and stared at myself in that dusty mirror. I hated looking older. When I woke up that day so long ago, I had aged. I no longer looked around twenty or twenty-five. I looked around thirty-five. Ugh . . . I stared at myself for a little longer in that crusty, broken mirror and then I balled up my fist and punched right through it and the wall behind it.

I looked around the rest of the room and decided it needed a little remodeling as well. Moving faster than any other creature could, I destroyed the cabin, every single piece of it. I ripped, punched and ground up every piece of that place.

All the while, screaming and cursing myself. I hated myself: for what I had done so many years ago, for what I had done to that lady earlier today and for what I had just done to my only friend.

I rushed to get the phone out of my jacket pocket and quickly dialed his cell again. _Pick up. Please, Jake. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please pick up. C'mon man, _I thought.

His machine answered, "Hey. This is Jake. Leave a message. Or don't. Or do. Eh . . . yep, okay."

"I'm so fucking sorry, dude. You know I wouldn't do anything to ever hurt anyone you love ever again. I'm so sorry. Please call me back. Please. Really, I'm so so so sorry. Alright. Um . . . just call me back. Please."

I sat next to a tree, cell phone in-hand, praying Jake would listen to the message and get back to me. I stared at the pile of rubble I had created from the cabin. _I destroy everything_, I thought.

_Twenty-five years ago . . . _

"I look like I'm in my mid-thirties!" I yelled. "What the hell, Carlisle? What the fuck am I?"

"I told you we are unsure, but with time, we should be able to study and develop theories . . ."

I started to feel angry, angrier than I had ever felt in my life. "You wanna make me your fucking science project? Is that what you are saying?" I took a small step towards him. Everyone moved quickly: some backing away towards the door, others stepping in defensive positions in front of their mates.

Somewhere, I knew that this was irrational. Carlisle wouldn't want to hurt me or use me. He was the kindest, most generous man I had ever known. But, in that moment, rational thoughts were not at the forefront of my mind.

"Seth. Dude, no one is meaning it that way. You know that," Jake said, attempting to placate me. I hadn't realized he was here. I tensed and turned to him. This was his entire fault. Again, somewhere I knew this was irrational, but I couldn't stop the fire that was raging inside of me. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be pissed the fuck off. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to hurt something.

I growled at him and he pushed Nessie farther away behind him. Emmett, Edward and Jasper stepped closer to me and I started feeling threatened, like I was being caged in.

I growled again, this time warning them all.

"Edward? What's he thinking?" asked Carlisle.

"I'm not sure. Bella, are you shielding him?" Edward wondered.

"No, of course not!"

"Well. Something is going on. I can't get a handle on his thoughts. They are like scrambled messages," Edward explained.

"Jasper? Control him!" commanded Carlisle.

"I can't! I can't seem to get ahold of his emotions. They are too sporadic. He's everywhere. I can't control him."

"Alice?" demanded Carlisle, becoming more desperate by the second.

"I can't. I can't see anything," she replied, clearly panicking.

Nessie tried, softly and slowly soothing me, the way only her sweet voice could, "Seth. It's okay. No one here wants to hurt you, or study you, or do anything to make you uncomfortable." I started to relax and so did everyone else.

She tried to step forward and around Jake, but he wasn't having it. He grabbed her wrist, taking her by surprise and making her yelp. He hadn't hurt her, but it didn't matter. I lunged for him, throwing us both through the glass windows and flying from the third floor of the new house to the ground outside. I quickly sensed several pairs of hands on me and although I knew they should have, they didn't feel cold to me. And Jake, he didn't feel hot. I didn't feel anything, only sensed.

Emmett, Jasper and Edward were on me, trying to get me to release the hold I had around Jake's neck. I could see the light in his eyes slowly leaving. Apart of me was terrified of what I was doing, but there was another part. A part I liked very much. A part that felt empowered. For once, I was dominating. I was the alpha. I was the strongest, the fastest. I smiled at Jake, while at the same time easily throwing off his protectors.

Around me, I could hear their screams, their cries, their desperate strategizing, trying to find a way to tame the demon that had been released. But, I didn't care. It didn't matter. I was going to kill him. I needed to kill. It was just Jake's bad fucking luck that I had his neck in my hands at that moment.

"Seth! Please stop!" That was the only voice that could've affected me in that moment, Nessie's. I immediately loosened my grip and looked to her. Tears were streaming down her face. "Seth. Please. Please don't hurt him anymore," she begged me.

I stopped. I would've done anything for those chocolate-brown eyes.

She cautiously walked towards me, against everyone's wishes, and put her hands on me, across both my cheeks. "Seth? My sweet, kind Seth?"

I softened: no longer a statue, no longer angry, no longer needing to kill. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"There. Better?" She asked, so sweetly.

I smiled again, stupidly no doubt. I was in a complete state of tranquility. Until it hit me. The smell of blood. Her blood. Nessie's blood.

I don't even remember biting her. I only remember the taste of her blood, the sheer pleasure of it. And, I don't remember stopping. I'd opened my eyes and looked down to see her lying on the ground, surrounded by everyone else. Her heartbeat was faint, barely there. I began to panic. What had I done? She lied there, breathing her last breaths, because of me.

"She needs venom!" Bella yelled. "Bite her." All at once they began to bite her, filling her body with as much venom as they possibly could and sealing her wounds.

I began to back away. I couldn't believe it. I had almost killed Nessie. My Renesmee.

I turned to run away and saw Jake, in wolf form, standing right in front of me. He crouched to spring and my defensive instincts kicked in. I knew that if I didn't keep myself under control, I would kill him. So, I let him launch at me and then effortlessly tossed him to the side and I ran for it. If I waited, or turned back, I would kill them. I knew it. I felt it. I wanted it.

But, at the same time, I didn't. I held onto the part that didn't. I fought to keep that part of me alive.

They chased me for a while and called me several times. I'd supposed someone had slipped my cell phone and wallet in my jacket pocket while I was still sleeping, or whatever that was. But, they couldn't catch me. I was too fast.

That was the last time I had seen any of the Cullens, or my brothers.

_The Present . . . _

I stared at my newer cell phone, remembering the good old days when they were much simpler. _C'mon, Jake_. _Call me back. _

I waited a little longer. It had been over an hour since I'd called. He should be phased back by now. Surely, he's calmed down and knows that I was just being a dick like always, but I didn't really mean it.

I dialed his cell again, and again I got the machine. "Hey. This is Jake. Leave a message. Or don't. Or do. Eh . . . yep, okay."

"Jake. I . . . I . . . " I really didn't know what to say. "I don't really know what to say. I know I fucked up. Big time this time, but I . . . I need you to call me back and we can sort this all out. Okay? I know you've given me a million chances and I know I always apologize, but . . . Jake . . . you can't . . . I mean . . .you have to . . . please, Jake, call me back. Please forgive me. It's just that . . . " BEEP! The tone sounded to alert me that the message was full, but I didn't move my cell phone from my ear. I stayed still as statue. "You're my only friend," I finished, even though he would never hear it.

I let the phone fall from my ear. "You're my only friend," I repeated.

For the second time that day, I wanted to cry, but I knew I couldn't.

I closed the phone and put it back into my pocket. I laid down next to the tree, curled myself into a ball and slowly drifted off. As I drifted I realized that I had never felt more alone. I had never felt more hatred for myself and I had never felt more scared.

_Please, God. If you still listen to me. Please help me. Please help me. Please . . . help me._

That night, I dreamt of long, soft, black hair and beautiful eyes . . . emerald eyes.

***A/N: I want to make sure everyone is clear on what is going on here, just to clarify. "The Present" is 50 years after Breaking Dawn. So, obviously, Nessie is 50 years old. **

**Elizabeth, Nessie's and Jake's daughter is 20. She was born when Nessie was 30. Nessie can no longer have children, but did give birth to 3 boys before having Elizabeth. **

**Seth is not your typical Twilight vampire. He is something different. His heart beats. He has fangs. He needs human blood to survive. He can drink. Sleep a little, etc, etc**

**There is a lot I'm changing here from the original story, so if you haven't read the first 2 chapters, go back! If you have, well then, keep on reading! **

**Whew! Well, I'm pretty sure by now most, if not all of you, can see where this is going. But, don't get too excited. It's going to be awhile before we get there.**

**Hope you enjoyed it and please review!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Cut Short

***A/N: If you read Chapter 3 when it was posted only as "Our Birthdays," you should go back and read it as "Birthdays and a Phone Call." I decided that I was probably making the chapters a little too short, so I went back and added what used to be Chapter 4 to Chapter 3, making one longer chapter. Besides, they basically went together anyway. So, if you aren't sure, go back and take a look. You wouldn't want to miss the phone call between Seth and Jake! **

Chapter 4 – Cut Short

Elizabeth's POV

_The Present . . . _

"Reach your arms to the sky. Bring the palms to Namaste," said Nana Esme, slowly, comfortingly.

"I just can't believe it!" Mama was saying again. "Really, after more than two decades, you would think that I would've accepted it. He's just not the same, but I just cannot seem to get over it." She was so frustrated.

"Nessie! Yoga is for relaxation and you are not being very relaxing!" cried Aunt Alice, stomping her foot. "Now, be more relaxatative!"

"Relaxatative?" asked Grandma Bella. "Seriously, Alice? Stop trying to make up your own words!"

"Fold to standing forward bend," Nana Esme continued as if nothing were happening.

"This is just not the Seth I knew. I mean, the guy used to be my best friend. We had so much fun together. I wish he were here! The old Seth, not this Seth," Mama clarified.

"Bend your knees. Step into plank pose," Nana said.

"Nessie, you have to get over this. How many times have we been through this?" Aunt Rose asked, as we all followed Nana into upward facing dog pose. "He's gone. That's not Seth. You trying to find some justification or rationalization is only going to give you premature wrinkles."

"I'm 50 years old, Aunt Rose," Mama said with a silly laugh. "And, I still look around twenty. I'm never going to have wrinkles."

"Oh. You know what I mean!"

We moved in synchronization and stepped into triangle pose. Monday morning, right at the break of dawn, like every morning, we did yoga. And, by "we," I mean the ladies of the house. The men were far too pig-headed to even consider it. It had started as a way for me to improve my flexibility when I was younger, but eventually all the ladies joined in. I think at first it was a way to make me feel less awkward and different, but let's face it, there was nothing on their bodies that needed fixing, not even their flexibility. They did claim however, that it had a calming effect on them, too. But, I think more than anything, it was about them having some sense of normalcy.

So, this was how I always started my day-tight work-out pants, sports bra and a yoga mat. I wore my hair in a high ponytail on top of my head. We were outside today, since the weather was actually very nice.

"I mean he ruined my daughter's and my husband's birthday!" Mama was not letting this go. I rolled my eyes.

This is what happened when you lived in a household full of immortals. Eventually, conversations repeat over and over and over again. Nana instructed us all to turn to the front of our mats. From the corners of my eyes, I could see Mama, Grandma, my aunts, my sisters-in-law and even my Nana moving so fluidly and beautifully, with very little effort. I, on the other hand, felt like my arms were going to snap from under me at any moment. _Ugh! So not fair_, I thought.

"Nessie, Rose is right. Seth isn't coming back and if he does he won't be the Seth that you want him to be, that we all want him to be. I miss him, too. But, he's just not there anymore, darling. Really, take Rose's advice and let him go," Grandma was telling Mama.

"He's just . . . that's not Seth anymore, honey. He's only a monster, trapped in an enhanced version of Seth's body," Aunt Alice finished. Mama sighed, clearly uncertain, but trying to accept it. Nana led us all into downward facing dog pose.

"Woohoo|I love me some yoga mornings!" screamed Uncle Emmett. The guys had come back from a short hunting trip and I already knew where this was going. They were always hornier after hunting, something about it made them even more primal then they already were. I made sure to keep Poppy's gift as far from my mind as possible. The last thing I wanted was to be in any of those men's minds while their mates had their asses high in the air.

Aunt Rose tried to move quickly enough, but she just wasn't as fast as Uncle Emmett. "Emmett! Don't you dare!" She threatened, but without any hint of meanness. She was already giggling and squealing. I had to laugh.

He had already come up behind her and pushed her back down into downward facing dog pose. Everyone responded with the appropriate "Ew!" or "Gross!" or "Take that outta here!" And, he did. He quickly scooped her up into his arms.

"Emmett! Have some class!" Aunt Rose squealed, but she was obviously enjoying herself. The excitement and love she had for him shone through every diamond facet on her perfect face as she looked up at him. And, then, they were gone, having disappeared somewhere into the forest.

All I could hear was Emmett's little warning to Rose, "Woman, you know when you bend over, you are just fucking asking for it and oh baby, are you going to get it!" Then, my ears lost them. Thank God.

Alice looked over at Jasper, who gave her a sideways grin. That's all it took. They were gone in a flash, too. I sat down on my mat. It was only a matter of time and they'd all be gone. Our Monday morning yoga session had been cut short.

Then, I heard my Daddy and three older, extremely wild brothers coming out of the woods. _Oh boy._

"Yeah! Yoga, boys!" That would be my oldest brother, JJ, short for Jacob Junior, obnoxiously informing the other two of the obvious. JJ made his way to his imprint, who jumped straight into his arms and he carried her out of there. It was totally disgusting, but I couldn't help but smile. I had always liked Leah.

"Hey, hey there!" said Masen, named after my Poppy's original last name, before he'd become a Cullen. Masen was my second-eldest brother. His tunnel vision was ridiculous. He nearly knocked over Mama on his way to Samantha, his imprint, Sam and Emily's only daughter. She'd turned wolf about 30 years ago, when she was 18. She was just as beautiful on the outside as she was on the in. Everyone said she was a photocopy of Emily, just without the tragic scars. As fast as he'd come, Masen was gone, Samantha by his side.

"Billy!" screamed Teresa. (That's pronounced the Spanish way, not the English way).Talk about beautiful. Teresa was Billy's imprint. Billy was the youngest of the three boys, although still older than I. Teresa was a Latin American beauty, half-vampire, half-human and Nahuel's half-sister. She was so exotically gorgeous; it made me physically sick with low self-confidence when I stood next to her. But, she was kind. In truth, she was my favorite. "Hola, guapo!" She flirted as they left.

I looked to Mama to roll my eyes, but realized that Daddy must've already gotten to her.

"Ahem," Poppy cleared his throat. I looked over to see him standing tall and proud, hands tucked so gentlemanly-like, behind his back. He was looking at Grandma with a slight, crooked smile. "I rather enjoy yoga mornings myself," he politely told her, his smile becoming more devilish by the second. Grandma leaned down to kiss me on the forehead and they were off.

That left Grandpa Carlisle and Nana. She smiled down at me sweetly. "I'll stay and finish yoga with you, baby," she offered, fully meaning her words. Nana was just the kindest person in the world. And Grandpa wouldn't have minded, but I didn't want to slip and hear anything that might be brewing in either of their heads.

"No. That's okay. Go," I told her. "Really. I think I'd just like to take a bath and enjoy some alone time," I told her.

She looked at me questioningly, unsure if I'd meant my words. I nodded to her to show that I had. Grandpa very cutely came to her side and offered his arm. She took it, winked at me and mouthed me an "I love you."

"I love you, too, Nana," I told her.

They walked, slowly, no rush to the forest. Unlike the others, they seemed in no hurry. They were such classy people. I smiled. It must be nice to have someone for so long that loves you as much as they love each other. How nice that they have all the time in the world to enjoy being together.

So, there I sat, alone on my yoga mat, surrounded by seven empty yoga mats, their previous occupiers having gone to their own separate corners of the forest to do only God knows what with their mates.

I began rolling up the yoga mats, limping slightly as I walked from mat to mat, and thinking to myself. I knew why I didn't have an imprint. I was too weak, physically. How could I give a wolf the strongest offspring if I could barely hear or see? The others still maintained that that was only one of the imprinting theories. The true reason was unknown for certain. But, I knew. It was obvious. I wasn't strong enough to pass on our wolf gene, or if I did, it would be with a bunch of defects. Who wants that in their kid? So, that was the conclusion I'd made: _You aren't strong enough, so you aren't worthy. _

I'd accepted that years ago, but it still hurt. I wanted a wolf, too! Then, after years of getting to know all the half-vampires and vampires, hoping for some spark, I realized that they too must be repulsed by me. I knew I could have just about had any human man I wanted, and probably any human woman, but I just didn't want that for myself. I wanted someone that was already in the supernatural world. I suppose I was holding on to the idea, hoping that someday some newborn or some new half-vampire would want me.

But, I sure as hell wasn't going to settle. I'd heard the stories of my grandparents a million times. I wanted that-an epic love- a love that makes you happier and more terrified that you've ever been. Happy, because you finally found it and terrified, because you could lose it. That's what I was waiting for, but after twenty years, I was certainly getting frustrated.

I had, like my mother and my brothers, reached full maturity quickly. At age ten, I had fully grown, looking to be more around twenty-three, a little more mature than my mother. Grandpa Carlisle theorizes that my brothers and I grew a little farther than Mama, because of Daddy's genes. He looked to be in his mid-twenties. So, my siblings and I landed somewhere in-between.

I carried all the mats into the house and into our gym. Yes, we have a gym-a gym any athlete would kill for. Again, the gym is for me, to improve physically, but the others use it. The guys were in there every day and they actually used the equipment; even though it didn't make any sense. Like my female relatives, I think they were just looking for a little normalcy.

I headed upstairs for my morning bath. I relished these moments. The rare moments when everyone left and I could have some peace and quiet. In this household, privacy was unheard of. Between Aunt Alice seeing what we are going to do and say, Poppy hearing about what we are doing and thinking and Uncle Jasper feeling how we are feeling about the things that we are thinking or doing that Poppy is hearing. . . yea, it gets really messed up and very annoying. So, any private moment I could get, like today, I took. No hesitation.

I entered my bedroom through the large double doors. It was five times the size of a normal master bedroom and unlike the other rooms of the house, completely sealed off. I liked having a closed room with real walls, no walls made of windows here. My bed sat in the center of the room, facing the doors-a large, four-poster, canopy bed, draped in black and baby pink.

Directly to the right of the doors, sat my vanity-a lovely, antique silver vanity from the 1920's. Aunt Alice had picked that out and I was grateful. It was beautiful and filled with only the best makeup and beauty supplies.

Further to the right, and occupying the entire right side of the room, was my alcove, set a little farther back than the rest of the room. I used it to write and read, sometimes sketch. It was lined with shelves of books, some classic novels, others more contemporary. I'm a sucker for vampire stories. I can't help it.

On each side of the bed were small, bedside tables, holding items like my glasses case and a copy of Dracula I'd been re-reading last night. No lamps though. Those were in the far corners of the room-floor lamps. I preferred those.

I closed the double doors and walked to each of them to turn them on.

On the left side of the room were another set of double doors, leading back to another room-my closet. Any celebrity or princess would've been jealous of my closet.

And in the far left corner, near the entrance to the room, sat a large, black, whirlpool bath tub, encased in white marble, surrounded with only the best bubble bath, bath salts, bath oils, shampoos, conditioners and soap.

I let my hair fall from my ponytail and took off my glasses and I set the items on my nightstand. I grabbed one of my cotton towels, imported from a spa in Sweden and the matching bathrobe, and headed to the tub.

As I undressed myself, I couldn't stop thinking of what I'd heard in Daddy's head Saturday night. I didn't want to be so nosey, but I didn't have the superhuman hearing that everyone else in my family had and I hadn't heard the conversation between Daddy and Seth. All I knew was that one moment, Daddy was wishing me a happy birthday and the next, he was so pissed, he involuntarily phased out in the front yard.

So, I opened my mind to his and dug deep.

I was shocked and disturbed, and very offended, at first. _He asked about my hymen?!_ I couldn't believe it. Who the hell did he think he was? And, not that it upset me so much, but the party was pretty much ruined after that. But, I didn't like seeing my Daddy so upset on his birthday! That bothered me more than anything. He was so pissed, it took Mama a good hour to calm him down so he could phase back.

Seth, apparently, had tried calling him back, but Daddy said he was through with him. He wanted nothing more to do with him. I knew that it hurt him to say it, but I also knew he meant it. _My poor Daddy_.

_Poor Seth_, I had thought that night, and just as quickly wondered why. I couldn't answer the why part, but I did feel bad for the guy. He didn't choose what he was. He couldn't help it, or could he? It was at that moment that my brain started filling with questions about him. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't control it. My mind was overwhelmed with everything Seth. Poppy had been giving me questioning looks throughout the last couple of days, but I think he realized that I was just as confused by all the sporadic thoughts that I'd been having as he was.

Jasper must've felt my anxiety and curiosity, too, because he kept giving me those eyebrow-arching glances. Aunt Alice would tilt her head in my direction from time to time, but in the end, they all said nothing. Nothing to me. Nothing to the others and nothing to each other. Although privacy was a hopeless matter in our family, we did try to respect each other.

After undressing, I went over to turn on my music. I scrolled through the list of artists and smiled: Pink! She was such a fantastic singer! I love her songs. I sighed, wishing I'd lived in a moment when I could've seen her in concert. I turned my speakers to max and breathed in satisfaction when _Sober_ started to blare throughout the entire room.

I turned on the hot water and poured in a lot of bubble bath and a few bath salts. I sank my body slowly into the bubbly water and let my head sink back onto my bath pillow. I closed my eyes, let Pink tell me I was "Fucking Perfect," and thought of Seth. I'd seen his face in their heads. I'd seen him as Seth the kid, Seth the wolf and Seth the monster. Monster or not, he looked damn good.

His chin-length, black hair, his broad, strong shoulders, his black eyes . . .

My eyes popped open at the realization that my hand was slowly moving between my legs-_there_, while thinking of _him_. I quickly stopped and pulled my hand away. I felt my cheeks burning hot. I'd never done that before. I'd wondered about it, but never found the courage to actually go through with it.

But, it felt good. Really good. I bit my lower lip, a habit I'd picked up from Grandma Bella, and realized that if I were ever going to do this, especially in this house, now would be the time. I hesitantly, and embarrassingly, placed my hand there again and began slowly rubbing. I found a spot- a spot that made my body convulse when I touched it. This felt more than good. It was fucking fantastic!

My mind, without my permission, went back to the killer. My hand didn't stop. Some part of me was wondering how fucking twisted I had to be to find a known killer sexy. But, I did. _He_ was arousing me. I could feel myself building quickly, to what I didn't know. I mean, I did. I knew what an orgasm was; although, I'd never experienced one.

The rush of what I was doing was thrilling and I welcomed it. I wanted it. I felt it. I was right there and _he _was with me.

"Oh! Oh . . . Oh. . .," I said, the words coming out on their own. I could see _him_. I could see his lips, his hands, his . . . _fangs_ . . . I thought I'd burst and I wanted to. To fucking explode.

"Hello! We are back!" JJ was laughing from outside of my bedroom door and knocking much harder than necessary.

My hand flew up and over my mouth and I threw water all over the room. My orgasm never came and was definitely lost as I realized that they had heard me moaning. I couldn't have felt more ashamed at that moment. I guess yoga wasn't the only thing being cut short today.

I heard Leah slap JJ, hard, and his resulting cry of pain. "JJ, are you out of your fucking mind?" She shouted at him. "Sorry Lizzie!"

They'd definitely heard me. I covered my face with my hands. Never had I been so embarrassed in my life. "Oh, God!" I said, hating myself and sinking, disappearing under the water and bubbles, with Pink shouting something about "U and Ur Hand."

Seth's POV

I fucking hated Monday mornings. My weekends were always tolerable, because that was always fucking and feeding time. I guess I didn't need a job, but it didn't take long to realize that life is pretty lame with or without them. At least a job helped pass the time. Either way, I always had a "case of the Mondays." Office Space, classic movie.

"So, Deputy Clearwater, did you have a nice weekend?" asked the overly pathetic girl behind the desk. What was her name? _Ah, yes. Stacy_, I reminded myself. Stacy: a bleach blonde with huge boobs and a tan so deep I wondered how she hadn't gotten cancer yet from all those tanning beds she visited. She was always trying to get me to go home with her and I would've if she didn't work with me. You see, I lived by two rules, simple and strict:

Rule Number One: Never sleep with someone or hunt near the town you live in.

Rule Number Two: Never break rule number one.

For these reasons, I always went at least one state over to hunt. Other than that, anything goes in this life as far as I was concerned.

"It was fine, Stacy. And yours?" I asked, smiling slowly. I liked to see them get all excited and wiggle around in their seats. So, I sat on the edge of her desk and played with a strand of her hair. And I had yet to be sued for sexual harassment in the workplace, but I was sure it wouldn't ever happen. Women wanted me to flirt with them.

"Oh, yes! Just great!" She exaggerated, in that Kentucky accent of hers. "I mean, we missed you down at the bar the other night, but we managed somehow." She always invited me to a little bar out in the middle of fucking nowhere, which are a lot of places here in Kentucky. I never went. Too tempting. Drunk women, dark nights, endless mountains with no one around for miles. . . yep, that would be very bad.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't suffer too much," I crooned, smiling wider.

She giggled what had to be the most ridiculous laugh ever, right up there with whatever-her-name was that I screwed this past weekend. She laughed again, hit my arm and said, way too loudly, "Oh! Deputy! You are so bad! Like . . .seriously!"

I couldn't help but wonder, do girls do that stupid, ditzy shit because they think us men like it? That bullshit would never get a real man to the alter. The only place a man would take a girl like that is to the backseat of his car or maybe the stall of the men's room.

"Hehehehe….," she continued ,at a pitch much higher than necessary, and all the while fiddling with her hair.

"Alright, now. I've got to go, but you behave yourself now, you hear?" I said. You would think she would notice that I was talking to her like a child, but no.

"I'll try," she started, "but, if I don't I reckon you'll just have to arrest me." She made that joke every Monday morning. And arrest her? Please. I might be willing to lock her up if it meant I didn't have to listen to her big mouth every day. I stood up and walked away.

I went to clock-in and tell the sheriff I had arrived. About seven years ago, I had needed something to pass the time, so I got this job. I thought if I had to have a job, why not be a cop? So, that's what I became. I'd had some guys that I'd met many years ago, fake a profile for me so that I'd pass the background check. You can't be immortal in this day of age, without someone, somewhere faking some computer profile and documents for you.

So, here at the office, I was Deputy John Clearwater from Tennessee. No one here knew me as Seth and I was fine with that. I didn't really care what anyone called me. As far as I was concerned, people could call me asshole.

About eight years ago, I'd been sitting in a bar, watching the World Series, Game 3, when I heard about the job opportunity. That had been the lowest point of my life. Yes, the lowest: drunk every day, chain-smoking Lucky Strikes, fucking and then killing any woman I could get to take me home, and that was pretty much any woman I wanted. At that point, I didn't even have rule one, or consequently, rule two.

There were no rules. There was only surviving and hurting others. By feeding me, all those women were dying for something. They'd had a purpose in life. I gave them multiple orgasms and they gave me their life. I left them satisfied from sex and they'd left me satisfied with their blood, their existence. I loved to kill and felt I was doing those women so many favors. Bella once told me that death was easy, but life was hard. So, I made it easier for those women and they were grateful, I was sure.

That's how I'd thought. That's what I'd believed.

In that shitty, old bar, I'd heard one man telling the other that his deputy was leaving town within the next year, moving with his wife somewhere up in Massachusetts. So, he needed a deputy. I listened carefully to their conversation, actually intrigued about something for the first time in years. Afterwards, I contacted my guy for papers. He got me all set up. I graduated through the Police Academy with honors, paying someone off to fake blood and urine tests. I found the town, became the deputy and here I am, tolerating Stacy day after day. The hardest part of the job was finding a uniform my size. Eventually, we had to stop looking and just get one made.

But, the job has been good for me, I'll admit. I have a reason to get up every morning and it made me start thinking again. I found a little morality in myself, not too much, but a little. I tried very hard to no longer kill. I tried to train myself to only bite and take a liter or I'd steal blood bags when I could. Most importantly, however, was to strictly follow my rules.

And even though I tried hard not to kill, sometimes, it just happened, like this past weekend. The monster in me: I let him out on the weekends, to fuck and shatter hearts, to feed and sometimes . . . to kill. Some part of me denied it, that I still _wanted_ to kill. But, denial is useless. _He _was there inside me, pushing me to feed on someone, to hurt someone, to scare someone and to kill someone. _He_ needed it. The monster.

The monster that'd made me lose my last true friend. Jake had never called me back and I couldn't blame him. I didn't deserve to be called back. I had been wrong to say that about his daughter, she didn't make me this way. She didn't take everything from me. I would've tried to make it right, if he'd given me a chance. It was strange this time. I'd never really felt guilty for taking cracks at him or any of the rest of the family, but this time I felt wrong. I'd done something wrong.

I started getting angry with myself. I wanted to destroy something, to rip something apart . . . I wanted something else besides me to be broken. I knew I had to get myself under in control, before I lost it and crushed the police station.

I walked into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. Images flooded my mind. The same images I'd been dreaming of the last two nights. Soft, black hair, emerald eyes, soft hands, a tiny waist . . . _ugh oh!_ I opened my eyes and looked down. My dick was a rock. If I didn't do something about that, I would eventually break the pants at the seam!

I knew I wouldn't cum, but I'd hoped I could get rid of it, by just rubbing a little. Like with sex, eventually I just accept it won't happen and I go soft.

I locked the door to the single bathroom and pulled myself out from my pants. I began stroking myself quickly, no need to make this all fucking slow and romantic and shit. I noticed after a second that it felt good. My eyes shot open and I looked down at myself. Was something different? Was I moving my hand differently? I couldn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but damn I wasn't about to stop long enough to examine the situation.

I kept going, closing my eyes and picturing those perfect hands from my dream. I imagined those hands rubbing me up and down, up and down . . .

"Ah! Fuck!" I cried. It was 6 am and I was sure to be waking the neighbors, screaming so loud. But, I didn't give a fuck. Twenty years. Twenty years without feeling. _But, I was feeling! I was feeling!_

I imagined those beautiful, full lips on my cock, sucking hard. The hands . . .the mouth . . . the eyes . . .

I fell back against the wall, cracking sounds coming from the tiles. My eyes rolled in the back of my head. I was going to cum!

"AHH!" I shouted, right on the brink.

BAM! BAM! BAM! Someone started pounding on the bathroom door and I was quickly pulled out of my euphoria.

My eyes popped open and a growl escaped from my chest. Someone had kept me from having my first orgasm in decades. Someone was going to die.

"John! John! Are you alright in there?" called the sheriff. "What's going on?"

Although I wanted to rip his fucking throat out and that Stacy bitch's, too, I decided against it. Too risky. Besides, I kinda liked Sheriff Bill. Plus, my mind was far more focused and blown away by what had just happened. I decided I'd try to find me someone to fuck tonight. Didn't really matter who, but if I could cum, it was going to be all over the ass of some sexy girl.

I slowly tucked myself away into my pants, followed by my shirt. I pulled the zipper up. Checked myself out in the mirror and opened the door. There stood Sheriff Bill and Stacy, looking very concerned.

"For God's sakes man! Are you okay? What the hell was going on in there?" Sheriff Bill asked incredulously.

I patted my stomach and said, "Whatever you do, don't try those 25 cent tacos off of the highway. Whew!"

Stacy's hand quickly flew to cover her mouth and nose (not that there was anything to smell) and Sheriff Bill's face bunched up into a wrinkled mess. I walked passed them, still rubbing my stomach. I left the door to the bathroom open and left Sheriff Bill and Stacy standing there in a state of shock and awe.

_Tonight_, I thought. _Tonight, some poor girl is going to get it._

***A/N: That's just not fair! Poor Lizzie and Seth! To get right at the breaking point and have it cut short? Not cool.**

**Oh and just to be clear, when JJ and Leah came home, they were the only two. The entire clan did not come back and hear Lizzie's little tryst. **

**So, if you have anything at all to say, suggest, doubts, questions, etc . . . PLEASE REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5-Walking

***A/N: Enjoy!**

Chapter 5 – Walking

Edward's POV

Elizabeth hadn't come out of her room all day and I already knew why. JJ and Leah always did have loud thoughts. But, to their credit they had tried to hide them. They didn't want to embarrass Lizzie. I wanted to talk to her, to tell her that what she did was perfectly normal and that she shouldn't feel guilty for masturbating. I had been in so many heads over the years; it wasn't something that shocked me anymore. Actually, if anything, it was quite impressive that she had waited so long. Twenty years, and having been fully matured for ten, was a long time to wait for an orgasm. Only one part of her experience had disturbed me and I was unsure of how to fix it.

Lizzie had been trying, uselessly, to control her thoughts since I'd been back. I even made a grand announcement to the whole house that I was going for a walk, hoping that she would feel some relief.

So, that's what I was doing at this point-walking in the woods. I knew my mind-reading drove the whole family insane, if they only knew how insane it drove me. My gift was certainly convenient at times, but at this particular moment I couldn't decide if I wanted it or not.

On one hand, I was hoping that Lizzie would come to talk to me. _If I knew her situation, perhaps I could help her_, I reasoned.

But, then there was actually knowing the situation. I did not ever need to know that my granddaughter was aroused by the thought of Seth. Seth! Twenty-five years ago, I would've been delighted to see my granddaughter with such a wonderful young man. But, now? Never. I never wanted that animal near her.

_Damn It, Edward!_ I scolded myself. I hated of thinking of Seth that way. We all did. But, that's how every one of us saw him. Over the years . . . the stories we'd heard . . .

_Twenty-three years ago . . . _

"Edward!" cried Tanya. "It is so wonderful to see you! Has it truly been twenty-seven years since we last saw each other?"

"I believe so, Tanya. Tell me how have you been since the death of Irina?"

"We cope. We feel her absence every day, but we live on, as you well know. "

"Edward!" shouted Kate, riding on Garrett's back. "It is so great to see you again!" They looked happier than ever. She jumped from his shoulders and hugged me tightly. She went on to say hello to the rest of the family who'd made the trip to Alaska along with me. It had been years since we'd been anywhere near the Northwest.

"Garrett, my friend," I said, holding out my hand to him for a firm shake. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm ready to be married. Hell, twenty-seven years is quite a long time to be courting a woman," he replied, smiling. Then, his face turned a little unsure. I opened my mind to his, looking for any doubts that he may have about marrying my cousin.

I began to chuckle when I saw that all his doubts and uncertainties came not from my cousin, but from my sister, who at that moment was coming down the stairs of the Denali home, looking more and more frustrated by the second. She'd made the trip two weeks ago.

"Yea! Yea! Yea! Everybody says hello. We missed each other. We all love each other. This is so exciting. Congratulations. Blah, Blah, Blah. There is work to do people!" She shouted at us all.

Most of us laughed in response, but not all of us. "I'm gonna have to zap her!" Kate exclaimed. "She's driving me nuts!"

Bella and Nessie both looked empathetic. They'd both gone through this once with Alice, too.

"She's been very . . . what's the word?" Garrett tried, " . . . thorough. She's been very thorough with the wedding plans."

I looked at him expectantly, eyebrow arched.

"I mean, perhaps the word is detailed. Or obsessive. Or neurotic," he went on, "I mean if she hadn't already told me a thousand times that she'd already looked into my future and that I wouldn't kill her, I would truly believe that. Edward," he placed his hands on my shoulders, "your sister is insane!"

I laughed in agreement. "So, Garrett, other than the wedding, what's been new with you?" Suitcases in hand, we all entered the house, with Alice yelling at us to move faster.

"Oh, Edward, you know as well as I do that not much changes over the centuries."

"Nothing at all, then?" I inquired. "Have you given up human blood?"

"I have and indeed, I feel quite good about it. I believe I may be gaining back my conscience after all these years."

"Oh no!" I exclaimed, dramatically and sarcastically.

He chuckled, and then became quiet. "Of course, not all of our kind are conscientious," he said, worry filling his voice.

"What's happened?" I'd asked, even though I could already begin to see pieces of the story filling his mind: small-Alaskan villages destroyed, dozens dead, the Volturi. "No," I said in shock. "When?"

"Oh, a little over a year ago, I'd say."

"I hadn't heard. Did the Volturi come here?"

"Yes, but they only questioned us. No threats this time."

"I see. And, what did they find?"

"They don't know," he answered, weariness clouding his face.

"They don't know?" I repeated, incredulously.

Eleazar joined our conversation at that point "They say it's a scent they don't recognize. They tracked it for years later I heard. Never could find it. At first, they thought perhaps it was your shape-shifting friends. We convinced them that was impossible. I'd never seen Demetri so confused! He literally ran in circles for over six months!"

I wondered. "Did you see it?" At that point, everyone in the room, including Alice, had stopped, our family thinking the same as I.

Tanya spoke next, "Jane said she saw it. Said it was huge. They'd never seen such destruction. It took every contact the Volturi had with the human world, and a lot of money and assets, to keep this out of human eyes."

"Felix told me that the bodies were not only bitten and drained," Carmen explained, "but they were ripped to pieces. Whatever it was, it wasn't a vampire. Vampires are only interested in the blood. Why take the time to rip through the bodies?"

"Well," began Eleazar, "whoever or whatever it was. It eventually got smarter. Eighteen days ago, the Volturi guard returned, asking if we'd seen it, or any signs of it since then. We hadn't. They hadn't. The thing just fell off the map. For all they know, it's dead."

"Did they not give you any other description?" asked Carlisle. "Only that it was huge?"

"Jane said it was human-like and it had fangs," Tanya informed.

My family and I all looked at each other. We knew. It had to have been him. Seth was ripping through humans.

"What is it, Edward? Do you know something about this?" Carmen asked.

"No," I lied, smoothly and felt my family relax as well, always a need to play the part. "It is just quite distressing that's all."

_The Present . . . _

"Edward?" Bella's voice pulled me out of my memory. She'd tracked me down in the forest. "Is everything alright? You've been acting a little strange since we got home."

"Everything's fine, honey," I lied, just as smoothly as I'd lied to the Denalis, but this woman could see right through me.

"You're lying," she accused, eyes slanted, measuring my every moment, or lack thereof.

"Yes, but I can't tell you."

She looked offended. "What? Why not?!"

"Violation of privacy," I offered, unsure, but hoping she would accept it.

She seemed to understand. Her stance relaxed a bit. "Fine. But, just answer one question: yes or no, okay? Is our family in danger?"

I considered that for a moment. "I honestly don't know."

And, I didn't, but I knew for certain that I had to speak with my granddaughter, my Lizzie.

Elizabeth's POV

"He says he only wants to go for a walk with you," Grandma explained. "And, I think you should go. He seems upset about something."

Of course he's upset! He's seen his granddaughter touching herself while thinking about a murderer! What grandfather wouldn't be upset by that?

"Grandma, look. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. Please?" I begged her.

She narrowed her eyes at me and began to speak sternly. She never did that. "Okay, listen up little lady. Whatever is going on here, it has your grandfather very worried and now I'm worried. And, I know this has something to do with you. You've been acting weird all day, too, cooped up in this room like this. Now, I'm going to give you two options: One, you go walk with your grandfather and you both sort through whatever this is or two, you talk to me about it, but so help me, Lizzie! I'm freaking out here! He won't tell me. You won't tell me, so you both better get it together, before I have a heart crack!"

"Okay, okay," I said, surprised my Grandma. She was always just the coolest person ever. This was so unlike her.

"Okay," she said, satisfied. She let out a long breath and then inhaled deeply again, filling her lungs with air she didn't really need. "Get ready and I'll let him know you are coming."

I put on some comfortable sweatpants a tank top and sneakers, pulled my hair into a ponytail and went down to face the firing squad. I avoided JJ's and Leah's eyes completely and tried not to make eye contact with anyone else.

"Honey? Are you okay?" Mama asked, for the millionth time today.

"YES!" I screamed. I had never yelled at anyone in my life. I don't think my voice had ever been that loud or rude and I immediately regretted it when Mama took a step backwards and her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey! Hey!" Daddy said, coming to place a hand on both of our shoulders. "Lizzie? What has gotten into you today? You know that you can never speak to your mother like that. It's not even like you to raise your voice. So, what's going on?"

I held my head low with shame and whispered, "I'm so sorry! Really, Mama. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just . . . I just . . . "

"Lizzie, it's okay," said Poppy, voice calm. He came to stand with Mama, Daddy and I in the center of the living room, with everyone watching us more than the TV. "Jake, Nessie . . . I know what's going on and trust me, there's nothing to worry about. I think right now, she just needs space and a little privacy. Everyone needs to back off a little. She's fine, just confused."

I glanced up at him through my long, black eyelashes, looking above the rims of my glasses. "Thank you," I mouthed, truly grateful for what he'd said.

"Okay," said Mama, concerned, but accepting, "okay. But, honey, you know that I will always listen to you, right? I mean, if you want to we could . . . "

"Ness," Poppy warned, shaking his head. "Let Lizzie and I go for a walk and talk, okay?"

"Sure, sure," Daddy answered for the both of them.

Before we left, I gave Mama a hug and apologized again.

We walked. Well, he walked and I limped through the forest. He didn't rush me. He patiently allowed me to set the pace. When we were a couple of miles from the house, he stopped and turned to face me.

"They can't hear us now," he explained. I nodded and let my eyes fall to the forest floor. "Sit down," he offered kindly. I sat on the large boulder and he sat beside me. I never took my eyes off the ground.

"Lizzie," he began and then stopped.

"I . . ., " he tried again and then stopped.

"If you ever want to . . . ," he was really starting to look more uncomfortable than I was. It was kinda funny.

"When a person is developed and has certain . . . needs . . . well, . . . uh,. Oh, God," he said, sighing in frustration and dropping his face in his hands.

I couldn't help it. I started to laugh. Hard. He looked over at me like I was crazy, head still in hands. I started to double over with laughter. I didn't even know why, maybe nervousness? Whatever it was, I suppose he began to feel it, too. He began laughing right along with me. That lasted a couple of minutes until I finally caught my breath again.

I decided that maybe it would be best if I started. "Poppy, I know you know that I . . . ," I really didn't want to use the word "masturbate:" with my grandfather, but I also knew that we needed to talk about it, "masturbated today." I finished with a wince. I didn't want to look at him, but the suspense was killing me.

He was smiling. Was he making fun of me? The pathetic girl without a mate that has to get herself off?

His face quickly changed to panic as he read my thoughts. "No, no! Lizzie, no! Of course, not! I . . . Lizzie, masturbation isn't wrong. Everyone does it and it's okay. Hell, certainly preferable to sleeping with a bunch of people and getting pregnant or a disease. There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing that Lizzie," he explained, in the coolest and most-laid back tone I'd ever heard him use.

But, he didn't stop there. "And as far as the rest of the family goes," he doubted for a second and then asked, "Can you keep secrets?"

I nodded.

"Everyone in that house does it. And, I do mean everyone. And as far as JJ goes," he began, but had to stop to let out a loud laugh, "I won't even tell you the things that boy did before he met Leah. And, he feels really awful for what he did today. Really, he knows he was an ass."

Poppy rarely cussed, so that surprised me. But, even more shocking: everyone in the house did it, too? It wasn't just me, the lonely non-imprinted girl? I smiled, letting that sink in. Then a horrible, frightening and unnatural thought involuntarily plagued my mind: _Grandpa Carlisle, Nana, Daddy?!_

"Yes. Yes and yes," confirmed Poppy, "but don't let on that you know that and if you do, you found all that out because you heard it in their thoughts, not because I'm a snitch."

I nodded in agreement, trying to stop the thought from popping into my mind but I couldn't: _Poppy?_ I shut my eyes together as tightly as possible and shuddered.

He answered again this time, only with a little more reluctance, "yes."

I jumped up off the rock. "Okay, then. So, we are both in agreement: your gift sucks!"

He chuckled loudly and bowed his head to agree with me. "Definitely sucks. At least you can turn it off! Imagine being stuck like this all the time!" He pointed to his head with his index finger.

I shook from horror. _That would be hell!_

"So, can we go now?" I asked.

His laughter stopped and the smile disappeared. "No, Lizzie. Sit back down, please."

_Uh oh_, I thought. _That can't be good._

"Lizzie, I want you to understand you aren't in any trouble. You know that, right?"

"Yea. . . ?"

"And, you understand that this has nothing to do with you . . . well, you know . . . touching yourself?"

"Okay . . . ?"

He looked at me questioningly, trying to determine how to word his thoughts, without hurting my feelings. I considered opening my mind to him, just to get it out there. But, I decided to wait a few more seconds.

He smiled, hearing my thoughts. "Lizzie, as you well know, we often have thoughts we can't control. Feelings we can't control. You and I both have been in other's heads and we can see, right? We see when a thought has true meaning behind it or when it is just an errant thought, yes?"

I nodded. Really if he didn't get to the point soon, I was opening him up.

"I'm getting there. Honey, the past few days, since your birthday, you've been consumed with thoughts of Seth. Now, I understand why you would have many questions. We all have many questions about Seth, but you are obviously, physically attracted to him," he stopped, waiting for my reaction.

So, that's what this was about? My hard-on for the killer.

"Yes. And, Lizzie, I know you want a mate. You want to fall in love, like so many women do. Hell, all of us want that! We want love. We want someone to spend the rest of our lives with, no matter what type of creature we are. I know you worry greatly about finding that. I know you feel like you aren't good enough to be an imprint. I know you feel like you repel all other supernaturals, but honey . . . oh, baby, don't cry!"

He scooped me up into his arms and held me as I sobbed into his chest.

"My sweet Lizzie, you will find someone. God is saving someone extra special for you. I remember being in your shoes. I remember being the one without the mate and darling, I understand. I know baby. I know it's hard."

I continued wailing into his chest, because everything he was saying was true. I did feel alone. I did feel sad. I did feel like a total fucking loser. I didn't want to be the girl that needed a man, but I did and not just any man, I needed . . . _him_. I knew it. I felt it to my core.

"That's the problem, baby. That cannot happen. Lizzie, look up at me, baby," he cooed, pulling my chin up to meet his gaze. "Seth Clearwater is an evil man, honey."

"You can't possibly know that for sure!"

"No, I guess you are right, I can't. But, I know of the terrible things he's done over these last several years and you can't be near him. Lizzie I know you are curious, but promise me. Promise me you won't try to contact him. He nearly destroyed this family when he attacked your mother. Lizzie?"

He waited for me to answer. I didn't want to, nor could I, lie to Poppy, or even make a promise that I might later break. Could I do this? Right now, it didn't seem like such a big deal, but what if someday I wanted to meet him? What if someday I needed him?

"For the family? For the safety and security of our entire family? Could you promise for them?" he asked.

Without hesitation, "yes. I'd do it for the family."

And, in that moment, there deep in the forest, I'd meant it. I wouldn't put my family in danger, not for my own selfish reasons. I couldn't.

***A/N: Hope you liked and it and please someone :Review!**


	6. Chapter 6-Running

***A/N: So, our last chapter was "Walking," but here we'll be . . . **

Chapter 6 – Running

Seth's POV

"That'll be like $3.95, sir," said the coffee house clerk, a pimple-faced young man, who was far too overzealous and clearly a stoner.

"Thank you," I said, leaving the change from the bills in their little "tip" cup.

He was a little shaky. "Thank you, sir! And hey," he began, in the cheesiest tone I'd ever heard, "_don't_ have a _terrific_ day!"

I already wanted to punch him. "What?" I asked, trying to comprehend where this was going.

He got a big smile on his face and shouted, throwing his arms in the air, "Have a _coffee-rific_ day!"

Then, on cue, the other employees yelled, "Coffee-rific!"

_Wow._

I stood there for a second, a statue with my eyes locked on the kid's. He couldn't have been more than 17 years old. He was still grinning from ear to ear. I sat my coffee on the counter, leaned into him and beckoned him forward. He leaned across the cash register and I asked him softly, "Do you say this shit to women?"

He suddenly got very nervous. "Oh, yes sir! Here at Coffee Kicks we never discriminate, sir!" He stepped back, smiling and nodding his head even more idiotically than before, and seemingly pleased with himself.

I sighed in frustration. _Poor kid_. "No, I mean. Listen, kid. First, off. Lay off the coffee! You are shaken more than a vibrator."

His mouth popped open.

"Oh, good, so you know what that is. Didn't want to have to explain that one to you. Second, you are never getting laid if you say shit like that," I told him, quietly. He seemed like a nice guy and since I had plans of cumming that evening, I was in an unusually generous mood. "So, never, ever say that to a woman, unless you don't want to fuck her. Got it?"

"Cool. Yeah, yeah," he said, looking a little more normal. "Hey. Do you think they dig the outfit? I mean, women love a man in uniform, right?" He stepped back so I could judge his work gear.

I looked him up and down and then slowly shook my head. Black shoes with tall white socks, black shorts and a pink and black plaid polo shirt, tucked into the shorts. No belt and a pink ball cap with _Coffee Kicks_ scrolled across it in black. "Not that uniform, kid. You ain't getting any in that uniform," I told him. "But, hey. Don't focus on the uniform, alright? Chicks don't care so much about what you are wearing, although you do look pretty damn pathetic. Anyway, they look at attitude, confidence, sense of humor and intelligence."

"Alriiiight! Right on, man. I'm smart!" He enthused, pointing at himself with his two thumbs.

"Yeah?" I asked. He nodded his head, with that goofy-ass grin of his.

"Then stop grinning like a dumb-ass," I told him. "Small smiles," I advised. He considered it and took my advice. He actually looked saved. "Now, maybe you'll get laid sometime before hell freezes over."

"Right on, dude!" He said as I walked away. "You rock, Mr. Dude!"

I rolled my eyes and kept walking until I found a quiet, little corner of the coffee house. I had driven up to Illinois as quickly as possible after work. It had taken several hours, but I'd left early around lunch, feigning digestive distress from all those tacos I'd supposedly eaten. I'd never called in sick, or left early before, so they figured I must've been pretty bad.

I sat down at a small table, my back to the wall, so that I could see everyone that came in the door. I waited for a girl to catch my eye. The coffee shop was located next to a university, so I figured a cute girl from there would enter at some point and when she did, she was mine. I decided I wanted a girl like the one from my dream. Evidently, she aroused me more than any other woman had in a long time. Since Renesmee.

So, I went with what my subconscious wanted: black hair, green eyes . . . perfection. I wasn't stupid enough to actually believe that's what I'd find, perfection, but I was hoping for the hair and the eyes.

I no longer had on my police uniform. How stupid would I have been to make myself stand out like that? Sex, at least for me, would _definitely_ mean that I fuck a girl and leave her. It _could_ mean that I bite her and feed on her and of course, the possibility existed, although I no longer liked to do it, that I would kill her. I had in the past, gotten too rough with a woman and I had many times, before I became a police officer, drained women of their blood after sex. So, to wear my uniform would've been beyond stupid. I didn't want anyone knowing who I was, or where I was from. Besides, the mysterious, dark stranger in the corner always seemed to work for me.

So, I sat there and waited, in my jeans, simple, black jacket and black t-shirt. I had to slick my hair back for work and even then Sheriff Bill was always complaining about it, but after work, I ran some water and a comb through it and pulled it back into a small ponytail at the nape of my neck. Customers filed in for about an hour and I still hadn't seen anything I liked, but that was okay for me. I was willing to be patient. I continued to sip my coffee and .look through the shop's newspapers and magazines. I played with my cell phone and pretended to be looking up something on the Internet, anything to avoid looking like a creeper.

A group of girls came in then, one with long black hair and soft, green eyes. _Bingo!_ I thought. She looked a little young, but she was probably a freshman at the university. I listened in on their conversation and as soon as I heard the word "prom," I stopped listening. I did not go for anyone that wasn't of legal age. I didn't care about breaking the law, but I did care about screwing some girl up at that age. I was a monster in so many ways, but I never hurt kids or teenagers. If she wasn't at least eighteen, I wasn't touching her.

"Ned!" shouted some fat, bald guy from behind the corner. I turned to look at the commotion. The man walked to pimple-face and lowered his voice, so that it was barely above a whisper. My ears caught it with no problem. "Ned, what the hell are you doing? I haven't heard "coffee-rific" screamed in this place for over an hour! You say it first, and then the other employees repeat it. That's the way this works. That's what makes this place _cool_. Do you understand?"

_Ha! Looks like bald dude's not getting laid, either! _I waited for Ned's response.

"Yeah, but manager dude," he started. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, exasperated. "You see man, the thing is, if I say that, I'm never getting laid!"

"What?!" cried the manager.

"Yea, cause, you see chicks don't like that. They like, like intelligence and stuff and how am I supposed to impress 'em if I don't start soundin' more intelligenter?"

_Intelligenter?_ _Kid's got no hope._

"Ned, say what you are supposed to or I'll find someone else to say it," said baldy.

"Cool! Yay, dude! Like totally, I'll take care of the money and he'll say the stupid shit," Ned said, obviously not getting the point. "Plus, if I spend my time countin' money, I'll be more intelligenter!"

At this point, the manager was furious, "It's intelligent. More intelligent. Not intelligenter!" He was shaking and clearly a beat away from a heart attack.

"Whoa! Calm down, manager dude! You're shaking like a vibrator!" cried Ned, looking sincerely worried about the man.

I had to laugh at that point. _I can't believe he just said that. Poor kid. _I was actually starting to like this idiot. He was entertaining at least.

"What did you just say to me?!" demanded the manager. I decided to help poor Ned out and I called for the manager to come over to my table.

He came immediately, looking very worried about my request. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"No, no. I just need some more coffee. I've been waiting awhile," I told him. He scurried off and sent Ned over to me with more coffee, not before warning him though that he'd be keeping an eye on him.

Ned started over with the dumb-ass grin on his face. He stopped suddenly, realizing of his smile, and worked it out until it was a small grin. I couldn't help but chuckle. He came over, trying too hard to seem cool and relaxed, and served me more coffee.

"Everything alright over there?" I asked him.

"Aw, yeah, Mr. dude. Everything's cool. Just my manager, you know how it is! Won't let me work my game. You know?" He stopped and sat down with me. "Hey, dude. Could I like . . . ask you a question?"

I looked at him expectantly, waiting for the question. Apparently, he didn't get that my silence was an invitation to ask the question. I waited for nearly a full minute, before I got tired of playing the staring contest and finally said, "Sure."

He looked immediately relieved. "Ok, so, I had my break, like, I dunno know, like 15 minutes ago and I was in the bathroom . . . "

I didn't like where this was going.

"And, I was working with the mirror, you know? Like, practicing my smiles and I got it narrowed down to 12."

_Jesus Christ_. Normally, I would've already told him to fuck off, but I just sat there grinning.

He stood up and began. "Alright. So, this is smile number 12," he said, and then grinned, far too lopsided.

_What the hell is wrong with this kid? _Really, a part of me so badly wanted to smack him, but he was just too funny.

"This is number 11," he continued. This went on for a while and for some unknown reason, I would've kept paying attention if it weren't for the sexy, long-legged girl with short, black hair that had just walked through the door. I looked her up and down, examining my target, my prey. Her hair wasn't as long and her eyes weren't the same green, but she was close enough. _Gotcha, _I thought. I smiled to myself.

"Okay, wait for it . . . number 4," said Ned.

"Yeah, go with number 7," I told him.

"But, you haven't seen the last three, yet!" He protested.

I decided to try and speak his language. "Yea, but like, coffee dude," I fought the urge to punch _myself_ at that moment, "I'm about to like get my game on, so you need to like, go away."

He smiled knowingly. "Alriiight! Go get her Mr. Dude!" I chuckled and shook my head.

Ned walked away and I watched her: the way she moved, the way she spoke, the coffee she ordered, the books she had with her . . . every detail was important. But, I didn't make a move. I knew I didn't need to. She took a seat at a table directly across from mine. She hadn't noticed me until right before she went to sit down.

She locked eyes with me only for a second and let out a small huff. She nervously looked away and tucked her hair behind her ears and tried, but failed, to sit down smoothly. It was more like she plopped down. Her cheeks then turned red. She looked up, clearly embarrassed, through her lashes at me and I smiled, slowly and only slightly.

_Step one: Get their attention and let them know you are watching them._

_Step two: Look embarrassed yourself._

I nervously, or what appeared to be nervously, looked down at my coffee and fidgeted with the cup. After a few seconds, I looked up and she simultaneously jerked her head back down, pretending to read the copy of _Emma_ in her hands.

_Step three: Try to establish communication, but again, appear to be nervous._

"Hi," I said, shyly. "I . . .um . . ha," I laughed, nervously.

She smiled and giggled a little. I waited for her to say something, to talk to the "shy and sexy stranger" in the corner. And, as always, it worked. "Hi. My name is Stephanie," she said. She actually had a somewhat sweet voice.

"Mark," I told her, smiling and lying again about my real name. "My name is Mark." Again, I waited for her to say something next.

"Do you . . . I mean," the poor girl was trying to organize her thoughts, but she was just too flustered. "Do you want to join me?"

"Oh, no. It looks like you are studying there. I don't want to bother you," I said, looking away from her and down at my coffee cup.

"Oh, no! No! No. I mean, please, c'mon over," she insisted, moving some books out of the way to make room for me.

_Step four: Actually, talk to her._

I got up and went to her table. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ned nodding his head in approval. That boy knew too much. He'd seen my face and her face. He'd have to be brainwashed a little later to forget us both.

"Thank you," I told her, as she finished making space on the table. "So, what's your name?" I asked, slowly letting the "shy and sexy stranger" slip away and revealing the "confident and sexy stranger."

_One hour later . . . _

"I'm sorry about the mess. I have exams all week and just haven't had time to pick up," she was explaining, again.

"Not a problem," I responded the same as I had the last five times. She lived right off campus in a small apartment for only her. She claimed that she'd moved from the sorority house, because there were just far too many distractions. I actually tolerated this girl, no ridiculous giggling and she seemed somewhat serious about her future. She was actually quite nerdy, but still sexy. I could respect girls like this. I'd made a vow to myself to keep it cool and not kill this one. Besides, Ned had seen me leave with her and although I'd originally wanted to wipe his mind clean of any memory of me having been there, in the end, I decided against it. I liked Ned, too. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on with me . . . I honestly couldn't remember giving a shit about anyone in over two decades.

We'd chatted about anything and everything at the coffee house, while Ned worked grin seven out on any girl that came to the register. Surprisingly, I heard him getting a cute blonde's number towards the end. She couldn't have been more than 18.

_Step five, complete: Get her to invite you to her house._

"Well, would you like a cup of coffee?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow and grinned at her, "We just came from the coffee house."

She blushed. "Oh! Right!"

_Final Step: Fuck her._

I was tired of playing Mr. Nice Guy. I didn't want a relationship with this chick and I sure as hell wasn't sitting down to watch a movie or fucking play Jenga or something, so without even waiting for permission, I went for it. I grabbed the back of her neck and swiftly kissed her. She was shocked and stiff at first, but got over it in a hurry. She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her. Her kisses were soft and hesitant, but again, I didn't have time for that shit. So, I forced her mouth open with my tongue. She squealed, but soon relaxed and allowed me to explore her mouth. I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist and laid her on the floor. I wasn't taking a second more to walk to the bed.

I literally ripped her clothes off her body, leaving her in nothing but her simple white bra and panties. She had a nice, little figure. Her arousal was already filling the room. She looked terrified though. This was too fast for her, I knew, but as long as she didn't tell me to stop, I wasn't going to. That was a line I never crossed. I suppose that was something that stayed with me even after the transformation, I never raped. I had become a killer, but I would never rape a woman. Unless it was a role-playing-rape, that I got into, but even then, a safe word was always used.

In a flash, I removed my jacket and shirt. I had to undo the button of my jeans and unzip them to let my dick out. I was so hard, a result of the anticipation, that it was becoming physically painful. My dick had started twitching since the first moment I saw her. I pulled myself out and got the same reaction as always. She let a little "oh my god" and sound of shock. Like most parts of me, I had grown and expanded in that area during my transformation. Wolves were large anyway, but this pushed me to insane limits. Honestly, I didn't like being this big. I couldn't even fit all the way in most girls. Occasionally, I'd find one that could take all of me, but those girls were rare.

She scooted across the carpet and away from me at the sight of my member. I didn't go after her, just told her softly, seductively, "We can try. If you can't handle it, you can tell me to stop, okay?" She nodded, clearly unsure, but willing. So, I cupped my hand under her knee and jerked her back towards me. She yelped in surprise and then laughed a small amount. Women liked being tossed around the bedroom, or floor in this case. I grinned at her and told her to take off her bra and underwear. She complied. _Good girl_, I thought. I liked when they did exactly what I told them, a dominator at my core.

She tossed her bra and panties aside and I leaned down over her, kissed her and told her to relax. Again, she did what I told her. I pushed myself inside her in one swift motion. She cried out from pain. She wasn't a virgin, this I could tell, but still my size wasn't easy to take.

Immediately, I was pissed. I didn't feel it. _Not again_, I thought. _C'mon. Feel, .asshole! _I screamed internally at myself. _Fucking feel it. _I started moving, fast, probably too fast than I should have at that moment. She still wasn't adjusted to me, but she didn't say stop or try pushing me away, so I kept going. She was extremely wet and getting wetter by the second. But, it didn't matter how fast I moved, how deep I went or how wet she was, I felt nothing.

Suddenly, I thought of the green eyes and black hair. I tried focusing on her hair, running my hands through it, smelling it, doing anything I could to feel. But, again nothing, only the numbness. I started panicking. She had her eyes sealed tightly shut, whether in pain or pleasure, or a little of both, I didn't really know and I didn't really care.

"Open your eyes!" I commanded her, a little rougher than necessary, but I needed to see those green eyes. She did as she was told and I stared into them. I think she thought I was trying to be romantic, but it had nothing to do with romance. I needed green eyes, but not this green. This green was wrong. I was getting more and more pissed by the second. _Fucking feel it! _I screamed at myself.

I began pounding her and her screams reached maximum level as she reached her orgasm. With every thrust, my mind chanted: _Feel! Feel! Feel!_

Faster: _Feel! Feel! Feel! Feel! _I heard a growl rip from my chest, but it wasn't a growl of satisfaction. It was of frustration. She yelled out something indecipherable as she came hard. I didn't stop or slow down. I turned her face away, closed my eyes and thought of my dream girl. Her soft, sweet hands, her perfect, pouty lips, her luscious, long hair and her eyes . . . her gorgeous, green eyes . . .

"AH!" I screamed out, but not in pleasure, in pain. For the first time since I'd woken up changed 25 years ago, I had felt pain. _I felt!_ Something about this excited me, at least I was feeling something. But, as I continued, the pain became too intense to bear. So, I stopped.

She lied there in her post-coital bliss. I think she thought I'd cum, but of course, I hadn't. The moment I'd pulled out of her, I immediately felt better. The pain went away and the numbness returned. I leaned up and away from her, looked down at her and began to feel angry again. I had foolishly thought I was going to orgasm. I had come so close in the bathroom today. _What the hell is your problem? _I thought.

The monster in me immediately began to blame the girl still writhing and smiling from pleasure. At this point, her eyes were softly closed and her legs squeezed together, no doubt feeling a little pain there now herself. _He_ was blaming her, whatever-her-name was. Her eyes weren't the right green. Her hair was too short. Her hands weren't tiny enough! I knew I'd kill her from anger if I didn't leave, so without a word. I dressed myself quickly.

She'd finally opened her eyes, and realized I was leaving. "Where . . . ?" she started to ask, but I was already opening the door and leaving. I didn't say anything else to her. I didn't even look back at her. I just shut the door behind me and ran as fast as I possibly could to nowhere.

As Forrest Gump said, "I just felt like runnin'." And as Forrest said, "when I got tired I slept. When I got hungry, I ate . . ." and I ran, Bob Seger's "Against the Wind" playing over and over again in my mind. _Run_, _run away_, I told myself.

And, that's what I did. I ran. I called my boss and told him I had gone to the doctor and he'd confirmed I had a stomach virus. I wouldn't be in for a week.

And over that next week, I tried to run away. I ran up through Canada. I ran back down through Mexico and Latin America, from LA to New York. Back and forth, back and forth. I had no particular destination. I wanted to cry. I was at some unseen breaking point. I wanted to die, but I couldn't. I couldn't escape this curse, this evil that was inside me. I was a possessed man-a demon lived inside my body.

As hard as I tried, as hard as I ran, as fast as I ran . . . I couldn't run away. No speed, no strength, no amount of desire or determination could lose _him_-the evil Seth-the monster.

Only one thing had frightened me since I'd woken up this way so many years ago. One thing and one thing only – myself.

***A/N: Poor Seth! He's so scared and alone! It breaks my heart! **

**Just to be clear though, it's not actually a demon inside of him. He's not some possessed guy. I don't want anyone picturing The Exorcist here . . . lol. **

**And that wasn't an STD causing him pain during sex, either. **

**Anyway, I hope someone out there is liking this! Please review!**

**I'd really like to know if I'm writing okay or not. Am I using good imagery? Characterizations? Setting? Are you able to visualize it? Please let me know!**

**Thank you so much for sticking with me and until next time, take care!**


	7. Chapter 7-Camping

***A/N: Any of you live in DF? Don't you just love the earthquakes every 5 minutes? Gets old, quick. **

**It has been pointed out to me that the past/present switching back and forth can be confusing and hard to follow. That would be my bad. I don't want to break the past ideas up into their own chapters, because our character's memories need to be revealed slowly, so that the story doesn't move too quickly. And, I'd hate to have such short chapters. **

**Also, another reader told me that it is very difficult to read this story, because this Seth is so unlike Seth. I couldn't agree more. It is difficult to read and it is even more difficult to write. When the idea first came to me years ago, I thought: Where did that come from?! But, I couldn't stop wondering what would happen if our kindest character became so mean. So, if you are reading the story, and it makes you cringe away from your computer, or makes you say, "No way! Seth would never do that!" That's good! That's perfect! That's what you are supposed to be thinking! For now. So, hang in there! We'll see if our Lizzie can save him and bring back the old Seth!**

**So, I'm going to try leaving larger spaces between the past and present paragraphs, with the hope that you lovely readers out there can differentiate the tenses with more ease. Hopefully that will make things clearer, but I also want your opinion! So, please review and tell me what you think! Should I make the memories their own chapters? Larger spaces between the paragraphs? Or, do you have another suggestion? I'm totally open! We have fifty years of memories to get through and we wouldn't want to miss them!**

**So, things have been pretty heavy for the first six chapters, so let's have some fun! Okay, I'm done rambling!**

Chapter 7 – Camping

Elizabeth's POV

It had been almost a week since my birthday and the talk with Poppy. I was trying hard not to think of Seth. I'd promised not to contact him, but I hadn't said anything about not thinking about him. But, I didn't _want_ to think of him. Thinking of him made it harder. Funny, huh? I'd never met the guy and yet, he consumed me. Honestly, I was starting to feel a little pissed that he had that effect on me.

"Lizzie! Let's go! Vamonos!" yelled Teresa, with her cute latina accent. Everyone else was already downstairs. It was Friday afternoon and the whole family was going camping for the weekend. Camping, hunting . . . whatever you wanted to call it.

"I'm coming!" I grabbed my bag and went downstairs to join the rest of the family. We all piled in three SUVs and headed out to the Berkshires, a breathtaking mountain range in Massachusetts. We'd moved to Boston about two years ago. I'd wanted to attend Harvard and of course, there was no way my family was allowing me to come alone. All of us girls went to Harvard, even Nana. She was tired of sitting home all the time.

It was fall and there is no place more beautiful in autumn than the Northeast: Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine . . . the fall foliage is truly spectacular and I loved it here. So far, we hadn't lived in any place that I liked as much as Boston. We didn't live directly inside the city limits. People tended to ask too many questions in the city. We were about an hour and a half or so away, but with the way my family drove we could be in Boston within 30 minutes.

Boston certainly wasn't ideal for my family. A cloudier, rainier area would've been better to conceal the vampires, but they worked it out. Grandpa Carlisle worked nights at the hospital and we girls took night classes. Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper and Poppy worked from their computers, some online business they had going and my brothers and father had started a construction business.

I had repeated high school twice before demanding to actually go to a college. I had two online degrees already: Finance (I'd taken those classes with Aunt Alice) and English (Grandma got one of those, too). I was happy to take online classes, but I wanted to go and sit in a college classroom – to have the whole university experience.

Well, as much as I could have while still hiding my family's secrets. That meant no friends. Acquaintances were ok. Study groups were acceptable. Sororities were quickly forbidden by Daddy and Poppy. Boyfriends were unacceptable. Dating was not allowed - anything that could mean someone coming to the house. E-mail was okay, but nothing with photos of the family. We didn't need virtual proof, available to the entire world, that we weren't aging. In the end, I was having my unique university experience. At times, I hated that it wasn't a normal one, but I also loved my life. I wouldn't want to trade my very weird family with a normal one.

So, we were off, all 17 of us. JJ, Leah, Masen, Samantha, Billy and Teresa piled into one SUV. Grandpa Carlisle, Poppy, Emmett, Jasper and Daddy went in another and I rode along with Mama, Nana, Grandma, Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice.

"Girl talk!" shouted Nana. I laughed. Nana loved girl talk, so did Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose. Grandma wasn't a big fan, but she played along. I think that's why she always insisted on driving, so she wasn't forced to participate. She listened and laughed along with the rest of us though. As for Mama and I, it just depended on our moods.

"Okay, so get this," began Aunt Alice, "last night Jasper and I were making out and he said to me, and I quote," she cleared her throat to make it sound all throaty like Uncle Jaspers, "'Hey baby! Will you pop, lock and drop it for me?" We all laughed together. Uncle Jasper was working on his slang. He wanted to sound cool and up-to-date, but he was still a several decades behind. I mean, that was something from the early 2000's!

While laughing Alice said, "I mean does he think that's sexy? Why not just ask if I'll dance for him?"

"At least he doesn't still ask you things like," Aunt Rose prepared herself to sound like Uncle Emmett, "Hey, Rosie. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" She was so beautiful and feminine, but she had Uncle Emmett's deep bass down pat! She sounded just like him and it was hilarious. "I mean the 1970's were hard enough to live _in_ the moment! No need to _relive_ that nightmare!"

"The Bellamy Brothers were good!" defended Nana.

"I didn't say the song wasn't good, but my goodness, you'd think the guy would be over that line by now," said Aunt Rose. I just shook my head in amusement.

"Your turn Bella!" said Alice. "I know Edward has to do something weird. He can't be as picture perfect as you make him out to be."

"I'm driving, Alice," said Grandma, as if that were some great excuse not to reveal anything about Poppy. Besides with her vampire senses, she could drive, and at the same time recite Einstein's Theory of Relativity with no problems whatsoever.

"So? Don't hide behind your steering wheel, Swan! Out with something! And it better be good!" Rose returned. My aunts sometimes called Grandma by her last name. After all, if you said "Cullen" in the household you got eight heads to turn.

Aunt Rose was so funny and laid back. I'd heard stories of a cold, stiff Rosalie before (no pun intended), but that had changed with the birth of my mother, and had only gotten better as my brothers and I came along. She now felt like she had a purpose and she adored each and every one of us. To Mama, my brothers and I, she was a second mother and when we needed one, she was a fun friend.

She even liked my Daddy now. They teased each other a lot, but it was all in good fun. The countless stories of animosity in the family were now only stories, memories. Don't get me wrong. We weren't all sitting around holding hands all the time, telling each other how much we loved the other. We had our moments of ups and downs. When you squeezed 17 vampires, shape shifters and a bunch of mixed whatever-we-were creatures into one house, even if it was a mansion, you were bound to get a little wound up sometimes.

Grandma hesitated about revealing sex secrets, but knew she had to give in eventually. "I guess we do have a long drive ahead of us," she reasoned. "Alright, alright. Edward . . . what about Edward that I haven't already told you in the last _million_ girl talks . . . ," she thought for a moment, stretching out the word million.

Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose were bouncing in their seats, excited to hear juicy gossip about Poppy. I tried hard not to pay attention, while Mama literally hummed with her fingers in her ears. I'm sure she could hear anyway, but she tried hard not to. Nana's face was passive. She preferred girl talk to be about hair, fashion, makeup, etc., but she always allowed this part of it, too.

"Edward is so uptight in bed, but he is slowly learning to use the word 'screw' and not always 'make love,'" said Grandma.

"Wow," said Aunt Alice, her voice loaded with sarcasm, "that was _really_ exciting, Bella. Meaning that it wasn't"

"Well, that's all you are getting," said Grandma. Mama relaxed beside me.

"Okay, Nessie. You're up!" said Aunt Alice. Mama looked at me, measuring my level of comfort with the current topic. I didn't want to know anything about their sex life, but I'd heard plenty in their heads anyway when I once looked into their minds at the age of 8, nearly scared me out of there for good. I smiled at her and she spoke next.

"Jake likes to play Little Red Riding Hood in the forest," she giggled. Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose burst into hysterical laughing.

"Okay! That's enough! Next topic please!" cried Grandma and I couldn't have agreed more. "Let's talk about something more educational and enlightened!"

"Oh, but we are learning soooo much!" shrieked Aunt Alice.

"Lizzie, how are your classes going?" asked Nana and I was extremely grateful for the change of conversation.

A while later, we arrived at our destination – a parking lot at the bottom of the Berkshires. We got out and unloaded the vehicles and headed straight for the deepest part of the mountain range. No one would find us there. We would have total privacy. Deep in the forest, in a bowl in the mountains, we made our campsite. We'd been coming to the same place for the last two years.

There were nine tents spread evenly around a freshly made fire pit, no fire just yet. One tent for each of the couples and one for me and mine of course, was pink and black. Uncle Jasper had found one on the Internet for me years ago and knew I'd just love it. I was thrilled the day he gave it to me. I laid out my stuff in the tent: sleeping bag, pillows (yes, plural, I loved my pillows!), bag of clothes, books and battery-operated lamp.

It was still daylight out, but we all knew that after we set up our site, it was time for Nana's List-O-Fun. Nana always brought a list of activities with her. Although why she wrote it down, I never understood. Her memory would've worked just fine. The activities were always family-related and beyond cheesy. We humored her and truth be told, we each had a good time. I, especially, liked the camping trips.

"Okay," shouted Nana. "Everyone come close." Everyone, besides me, could've been half a mile away and heard her just fine, but again we did what she asked. "So, here's what we are going to do. We will start with a good hunt, so everyone has full bellies. Nothing makes a Nana happier than seeing her babies with full bellies. Then, we'll come back, build the fire and that's when the _real_ fun starts!"

There was a small sigh of "okays" as everyone conceded. Grandpa Carlisle was grinning from ear to ear, happy to see his wife so happy. And she was. Nana lived for her family.

"Okay, so go out there. No humans! And remember, most importantly, be safe!" shouted Nana. Uncle Emmett laughed. The thought of anyone hurting any of them was just hilarious.

So, they headed out, Mama and Nana with jugs and supplies to retrieve me some blood. I couldn't go. Any animal could outrun me. If I could get my hands around them, I could snap their necks and then feed, but catching them was impossible. My brothers and I all craved blood to some extent, I more than they. They preferred human food. I always chose the blood. Like Mama, we could survive on human food or blood, but the blood did make us a little stronger, especially me. My eyesight and hearing always improved after feeding. The limp never went away.

My Daddy stayed with me. That was our tradition and we both enjoyed it. It gave us some alone time. Daddy and I sat down on one of the logs the guys had pulled over to put around the campfire. "So. How you been, kiddo?" he asked.

"Okay. You?" We engaged in small talk for about half an hour, before the conversation turned a bit more serious.

"Your mother's been driving me insane since last week," he said. "She won't shut up about Seth, or the birthday party or you. She's convinced you're depressed."

I laughed. "I'm not depressed, Daddy. Mama just worries too much," I paused for a moment. "I'm sorry about your party being ruined."

He smiled, his white teeth glowing against his russet skin. "It was your birthday party, too, Little Gift."

"I know, but I didn't really want it anyway. I don't like the attention. Makes me uncomfortable to have so many people staring at me."

He nodded. He already knew that. He knew me well. I didn't mind attention or getting gifts, I just didn't like everyone giving me those things all at once. "Anyway, don't worry about the party. It all turned out okay," he reassured me.

I had to ask. "Will you ever call him back?"

He sighed with sadness. "No, honey. I don't think so, but then again, we will have a lot of time here on this Earth. No need to rush things and as they say, never say never."

I looked him in the eye, shook my head and responded quietly, "You can't know that for certain."

He looked confused. "Know what?"

"That we'll have a lot of time here. We might not age, but we can die. Maybe you should call him. Maybe he needs you."

"Lizzie he insulted me. He insulted you!" He responded, not angrily, only trying to make me see reason.

"Maybe he needs someone to feel as bad as he does. Maybe, in that way, he doesn't feel alone," I reasoned. Daddy didn't say anything for a moment. We sat there for a moment, just staring at each other. I think he was about to say something, but Mama and Grandma came back then, jugs of blood in hand. They always hunted for themselves and me quickly, not wanting to keep me waiting. I immediately jumped up, and felt my mouth begin to water.

Grandma held out a jug with a kind smile, "Black bear. You're favorite!"

"And a deer," Mama said, setting the other jug on the ground. I didn't even bother grabbing a cup, just tipped the jug of black bear up to my lips and started chugging. And I was quickly sucked off the face of the Earth and soaring in Heaven. Every drop of blood tasted divine and I could never get enough. I always had to stop myself or I'd drink too much and throw up.

After I'd finished the jug of black bear and about half the jug of deer, I stopped. I looked up to see Mama watching me with a huge smile on her face, "Good?" she asked.

"Mmmhmm," I confirmed, wiping the tiny dribble of blood that was running down my chin. I immediately noticed and felt a change in my body, the blood making me stronger. I felt so satisfied, so complete.

Daddy laughed and asked, "Alright, which cooler has the hot dogs for those of us who prefer the meat to the blood?"

Mama giggled. She was smitten by everything and anything Daddy said and vice versa. "In the blue one, by JJ's tent, of course."

After another hour or so, everyone else began to return as well, complaining about not being at the campsite with all the other campers. Nana hadn't allowed us to camp near humans since the unfortunate trip to a campsite in Canada a decade or so ago. There, we had cabins and the vamps stayed inside while the sun was out. Uncle Emmett had insisted on being right with all the other campers. Grandpa Carlisle doubted, but soon my brothers and even Uncle Jasper, began insisting. No one could've guessed they would've embarrassed the family so badly.

They'd taken with them many more bags than usual, but no one seemed to ask why. Unbeknownst to the rest of us (well Poppy knew, but kept quiet) the guys had desperately wanted to mess with the other campers and literally drive the poor people crazy with their pranks and jokes. We'd taken that trip while Mama and Daddy had gone to celebrate their 30th anniversary in Europe and Grandma and Poppy had returned to Isle Esme for a little alone time. It was just us kids, the aunts and uncles and Grandpa and Nana.

I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered the trip . . .

_Eleven Years Ago . . ._

Uncle Emmett started the whole thing. He put on a ranger uniform and went around asking people if they'd seen the camp mascot, a large, brown bear that had "escaped from the camp observatory."

"You lost a bear?!" cried a man, holding onto the shoulders of his wife and son. "Are you serious? Well, it won't come here; right, with all these people, lights, noises?"

Uncle Emmett tried for his best Canadian accent, "Well, you know. He ought to be really hungry _aboot_ now. He missed his breakfast this morning." The man and woman looked terrified. "But, it's okay! If you see him, you just keep calm and give him something to distract him until I can get here."

"Like what?!" shouted the man, incredulous.

"I don't know, man. A piece of meat or something and just talk to him. He likes soothing voices. He answers to Yogi," Uncle Emmett told him, without a hint of a smile. Totally serious.

The man laughed, "Yogi? Are you kidding me? Yogi?"

Uncle Emmett pretended to get upset, "Yeah! Yogi Our bear Yogi. You got a problem, mister?" This went on and on until he'd convinced nearly the entire site of a runaway, brown bear named Yogi. The entire campground was talking about it.

"Do you think that it'll come here? For God's sake, what if it hurts or worse, kills someone?" asked an elderly lady, surrounded by the other campers who'd made a large circle talking about the escaped bear. It had already turned dark by then.

"Oh," started Uncle Jasper, walking up to the group in another uniform, "I wouldn't worry _aboot_ that, ma'am. Nope, I don't think that bear will be hurtin' anybody. No, no one's been killed here since 2025, since that serial killer came through here." Uncle Emmett walked up to Uncle Jasper.

"How many bodies did they find that year?" Uncle Emmett asked Uncle Jasper.

"Well, from what I've been told, they weren't too sure. They tried to put the pieces back together, but in the end, they had a lot of parts leftover and that killer, never did find him." That had a couple of people already leaving to go pack up their bags.

Carlisle joined the two of them at that time, "_Rangers_? May I have a word with the two of you?" He pulled them off to the side and he and Nana told them both to knock it the hell off.

As the campers began to disperse from their little meeting, more disturbed than ever, I heard Billy scream and run through the crowd holding his arm, dripping with fake blood. I laughed. They were so immature, but this was priceless.

"HELP!" cried Billy, but he kept running past everyone and straight into the forest behind them. That's when Masen came out with a chainsaw and a hockey helmet, looking just like Jason Voorhees. He pretended to hit JJ with the chainsaw and JJ started to spurt "blood" all over the campers. Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper, "the Rangers," pretended to be shooting at him with some impressively believable guns from some store in Hollywood, and telling all the campers to "run for their lives."

Needless to say, the campers left the site and their belongings behind quickly. The real Rangers showed up and we were asked to leave and never return to the campsite again. I'd never seen Nana so embarrassed and later, so angry.

_Back In the Present . . . _

Still smiling from the memory of the best camping trip ever, I listened as Nana explained the next activity for the evening: Dinner Theater. While Daddy and the wolves ate some more roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, some couple would put on a dramatic role-playing act from a favorite book. This was always fun, unless it was Poppy and Grandma's turn to do it.

"Now," continued Nana, "this time . . . let's see. Whose turn is it? Ah! Yes! Edward and Bella you're up!"

Everyone, including myself, sighed an "Aw, man!" Poppy and Grandma always did a scene from the same book: _Pride and Prejudice_. While I loved the story, they just did a terrible job of acting it out and it got old pretty quick.

Thirty minutes later Grandma finished the story up by accepting "Mr. Darcy's" proposal and kissing him. We all clapped and cheered for it to be over. Grandma and Poppy never seemed to care that we all hated it. They just stared at each other, grinning from ear to ear, completely pleased with themselves and each other.

"Okay! What's next?" Nana asked herself, although she already knew. "Sing-alongs!" she shouted and we all bowed our heads in defeat as Grandpa Carlisle whipped out his guitar. We all agreed to do sing-alongs, as long as they weren't the cheesy ones. So, Grandpa broke out a chord for Pearl Jam's "Black."

Looking around the campfire at that moment, I knew that I didn't need any man to make me happy. I mean, yes, I wanted that great love, but I could wait for it.

I looked across the campfire at Nana and Grandpa, already singing. I wanted a man like Grandpa: a man who helped others and selflessly loved- a man with an unlimited amount of compassion.

Next to them, sat Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. I wanted a man like Uncle Jasper: ready to fight and kill for me at any moment- a man with a need to protect me.

I looked at Uncle Emmett: Someone who can always make me smile and laugh – a man with a great sense of humor.

Poppy: Someone who would always challenge my mind - a man with great intelligence.

And, Daddy: Someone who would always cherish me – a man with an appreciation of the woman I am.

This was what great men were made of. This was what I wanted. This was what I would wait for.

A little after midnight, we finished Day One on Nana's List-O-Fun and we all retired to our tents. I put on my pj's and quickly put in my earphones. The couples never got loud or wild during the camping trip, but they weren't perfect angels either. I turned on my little lamp, slipped into my sleeping bag, put on some soft classical music and picked up my worn out copy of _The Catcher in the Rye_. I had to read every night before going to sleep, or I just couldn't sleep.

Less than five minutes later, Mama opened the tent slightly and asked if she could come in. I told her yes. She was wearing some fuzzy pink pajamas and had a package of Oreos in her hand, along with her sleeping bag and pillow. We didn't like a lot of human food, but chocolate was never turned down. I smiled at her, pulled the earphones out and turned off the music.

She sat down and said, "Can I stay with you tonight? We could have a sleepover like we used to." Bless her heart. She was desperate to spend some alone time with me. She really was worried about me.

I put my book down and told her, "Of course, Mama." We made room for her things and spread her sleeping bag out. Then made ourselves comfortable, sitting and facing each other with the package of Oreos between us. We small talked for a while and eventually, she reached her hand out to me and I knew what she wanted, so I leaned in. She touched my face and I saw myself in the vision. It was from last week, when I'd yelled at her. She wasn't angry with me, just wanted to know why it had happened.

I would've responded out loud, but with so many ears around, I decided to use her gift to show her. So, I pulled her gift out of mind and raised my hand to her face and touched her left cheek. She smiled widely, showing all her teeth. She loved it when I did this. She always got so excited. I guess she liked seeing her gift used. I had to smile back. I told her how sorry I was and how ashamed I'd felt when I'd raised my voice at her. Then I showed her that I'd been embarrassed by something. I wasn't about to actually _show_ her the bathroom scene, so I went with the walk with Poppy and the talk we'd had. I showed her how I was trying to forget him and how I'd decided just earlier that evening that I'd be okay without him.

"I see," she said, understanding. I cringed back from her, afraid of her response. Her feelings and thoughts came rushing through her hand that was still on my right cheek. She felt many things, but mostly she felt excited for me. She understood my attraction to Seth. She showed me many things from her past with him and I was shocked to learn that she and Seth had such a strong history. She shared intimate secrets with me: things she was ashamed of, too. She'd loved Seth too at one point and he'd loved her.

_And, isn't obvious, honey_, she spoke in her mind. _It wasn't me loving Seth. It was always you. _ I felt her relief, years of confusion finally making sense.

And, she felt my irritation. _Damn It! _I showed her. _Just when I'd decided to let him go! _

***Aw! Wasn't that just so sweet? Too cheesy? I hope not. This family truly understands the idea of family values. Does this even exist anymore? Anyway, at least we got to know where the Cullens are living, what they are doing in life and a little mother-daughter time. Hope you liked the light chapter, because in the next chapter we have to turn the lights back off, and go back in the dark!**

**Oh, and the story about the boys' jokes on the campers: In college, I actually had some idiot guy friends who did this. It wasn't in Canada, but you get the idea. They weren't just slapped on the wrist, though. They had to spend a night in jail for disturbing the peace. **

**I want to thank those of you who've reviewed and/or sent private messages! I am grateful to those who've given me their opinions and I truly appreciate your help in making me a better writer!**

**I don't know when I'll update next. Vacation is coming to an end and I definitely won't be able to write like this once school starts back up. Someone has to teach! But, who knows? So, thanks for still reading and if you have five more seconds, please review!**


	8. Chapter 8-Remembering

***A/N: So, this week I was informed at work that I have to take over the position of the Advanced English teacher in the primary section of the school for the remainder of the school year. I'm happy for the opportunity and of course, the money, but I have not been able to write like I want to! Not only do I have all the junior high levels, now I'm being thrown this as well. I should probably be preparing my classes right now, but I just can't take it anymore. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

Ch**apter 8 – Remembering**

Seth's POV

After a week of running and "being sick," I returned to work. I walked into the Sheriff's Office, feeling beyond drained, mentally of course. And of course, it was the beginning of the week and on this particular Monday, I had a _very_ bad case of the Mondays. Regardless, with my coffee in my hand, I went to face Stacy and Sheriff Bill.

And there she was- Stacy, sitting at her desk like always, fiddling with her bleach blonde hair. She jumped up when she saw me, and came running over to me, an over exaggerated look of worry on her face. "Oh my God! Deputy John! Are you okay? I have been like so worried about you!" She put her arms around me to give me a hug. I stood there and let her hug me, resisting the urge to toss her to the side and through the wall.

"I'm fine," I muttered, rolling my eyes. And that was the truth: I was okay. Surprisingly, I hadn't killed anyone that week, despite all the pain I'd been in. So, for me that meant I was "okay." She kept her arms around me, her face buried into my chest and every second she held on, was a second closer I came to a state of total disgust. I was disgusted with her for touching me and babying me. But, mostly, I was disgusted with myself, for letting her do this to me. I didn't want her near me, so I slowly pealed her arms from around me, and leaned away from her.

She didn't seem to notice anything was wrong, just continued blabbing in her thick accent, "I told the Sheriff! I was like somethin' is seriously wrong with the Deputy. I was like he has got to get to a doctor!' I mean, you should've heard how you sounded the other day from out here. We heard you in the bathroom and I was like 'Sheriff!'"

I let her continue talking, but walked away from her. She followed me and went on and on and on, talking to my back, as I clocked in. The phone started ringing, but again, she seemed oblivious to everything around her, so I turned to face her. "Stacy. The phone is ringing," I told her quietly.

She jerked her head towards the phone. "Oh!" She giggled ridiculously. "Guess I ought to go and answer it!"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," I told her, exasperated.

She went to get it, as I silently thanked God for whoever was on the other end of the line. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself. I rejoiced in the silence. Ready for my patrol, I headed for the door, hoping to avoid any of Stacy's further dramatizations. As I walked away, she covered the phone with her hand and yelled, far louder than necessary, "Go get 'em Deputy! And if you can't find anyone to arrest today, you can always come back and arrest me!"

_Every fucking Monday_, I thought. If I had to hear that joke one more Monday, I was seriously going to arrest her. I didn't respond to her, just continued walking out. As I got outside, the rising sun shining bright, I was met by Sheriff Bill.

"Well, hey there, son! How you doin'?" he asked. "Boy, you really had me scared there for a minute. Didn't think you'd ever come back! How long you been workin' here?" He questioned, slapping me on the shoulder. "What's it been? Six? Seven years? I was tellin' Stacy, you ain't never been sick and all the sudden you up and disappear on us for a week!"

Like Stacy, Sheriff Bill had a way of talking non-stop, not allowing a person to respond. At least he was tolerable. So, again, I listened and nodded my head as the Sheriff expressed his concern for me and then proceeded to invite me over to a fish fry that afternoon at his house. I always accepted. His fish fries reminded me of my father's and even though a part of me was always sad to see a piece of fried fish, I could never turn it down and Sheriff Bill's fish fry was nearly as good as my Dad's had been.

"Alright then!" He said, clearly happy that I'd accepted his invitation. "I reckon' if I don't see ya 'round the office today, I'll see you out at the house 'round seven o'clock." I agreed, got into my patrol car and left.

I drove around the town first, checking for anything out of the ordinary. I didn't expect to find anything. In this small town, the only time I saw any action was when I arrested a drunk, broke up a domestic disturbance or took in a kid for smoking pot. Other than that, I wrote the occasional ticket for a parking violation or speeding violation. After I was sure the town was secure and had stopped at the gas station for another black coffee (free for the Deputy), I headed out to the county roads. As it was morning, I knew I'd catch someone speeding to work soon enough. I parked the car behind some trees and I waited.

And, as I waited, I remembered, like I always did. It was always at that moment-there in my patrol car, with the sun rising, that I thought of _them_: Leah, Jake, Edward, Bella, Carlisle. I thought about them all, but mostly, I thought about Nessie.

Fifty years ago, after the close-call with the Volturi, I had never been so happy. I had never felt so alive. I had gone out on that field ready to die to protect Renesmee. I hadn't even done it for her. I had done it for Jake. He was my best friend, my alpha. I would've followed him anywhere, and with complete trust and confidence. If something would've happened to Nessie, none of us could've supported Jake's pain. Ness was Jake's imprint and for all of us, that meant dying for her if necessary. But, we had gotten lucky. The Volturi had left and the other vampires soon followed, leaving only the Cullens remaining in our territory.

And, I was happy with that. I had liked the Cullens very much. Carlisle was the most interesting man in the world to talk to. Forget history books. He was history. Esme was always taking care of us. Despite never eating herself, the woman really knew her way around the kitchen. Emmett was a blast. We used to wrestle around the backyard and it was always amusing to listen to Jake and Rose go at it. Jasper, Alice, Bella and Edward never got old either (no pun intended). Each of them was unique and fascinating. I never got tired of being at the Cullen house. Even the smell didn't bother me. I was happy there.

I watched Nessie grow quickly. Like everyone else, I worried for her, but, again, mostly for Jake. His anxiety concerning Nessie's growth rate was nearly unbearable. With the pack mind, every feeling was felt. You couldn't escape them. With Nahuel's arrival, Jake was finally happy and relaxed, and so were we.

And, so, the Volturi left, the Cullens stayed and Nessie grew up.

I adored Nessie as a child. Everyone did. And everyone noticed a special friendship between Ness and I. It made Jake a little jealous at times, but he accepted it. If Ness was happy, he was happy. Besides, he saw the respect I had for their relationship in my mind and that couldn't be denied.

I didn't start to fall in love with her until shortly after she became fully matured. We were at La Push, enjoying our last day there. The plan was to move to England, and study at Oxford. I worked hard to finish high school with excellent grades and thanks to the Cullens, I was even accepted. I didn't want to stay behind at La Push. I wanted to move on. While I loved it, and would most definitely miss it, I was ready for more. So, Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Jake, Nessie and I were all going to study together, with Carlisle and Esme playing Mom and Dad like always. Anyway, we were at La Push . . .

"Jake!" Nessie screamed, giggling. She was just too damn cute. She had on a simple, yet sexy pink swimsuit. Nessie's body was nice. All the wolves noticed it. She wasn't too curvy. She was built like Bella, but still she was attractive, especially with her long bronze hair and beautiful, brown eyes. Jake had her tossed over his shoulders, ready to launch her in the sky and into the water. At that point in time, Jake and Ness's relationship had moved to the very early stages of boyfriend and girlfriend. They'd kissed a couple of times, but that was about it. Jake had wanted to take things slowly. I laughed as Jake catapulted her body through the air and she sank quickly into the water. Jake cackled hysterically beside me, his eyes never leaving the spot where she'd sunk. She came up, chuckling and spitting the water out of her mouth.

"So, you ready?" Jake asked, clearly worried about me moving away from home. He was always taking care of me.

"Yep," I said, smiling widely and without any hint of hesitation. "I am ready! I am good to go! I am ready Freddy! I am . . ."

"Okay, Seth. I got it," Jake said, shaking his head. He chuckled deeply. I looked at him.

"How 'bout you? You ready to leave La Push?" I asked him.

"I'm ready to move on, too. I'm worried about leaving Dad, but Rach is here and I know she'll take care of him," he stopped for a moment and then smiled, "or make Paul take care of him. Either way, he's in good hands."

I nodded, understanding him completely, and said, "Yeah. I was worried about Mom at first, but she's got Charlie and Leah's close, so I know she'll be alright." He actually took the time to look at me then. He patted me on my back and grinned. "Besides," I started, "I'm sure we'll be back every chance we get. I know you'll want to see Billy. I'll want to see Mom and there's no way Ness and Bella are gonna miss a chance to see Charlie. Everything's gonna work out just fine!"

"Jacob Black!" Nessie screamed, pulling both our heads back to her. "You are a dead man!" And with that, Jake ran off with Nessie chasing after him. As she ran past me, she jumped up and kissed me on the cheek. "Your alpha is gonna get it!" She told me. I laughed, but nervously, as I realized in that moment, that her kissing me gave me the most incredible feeling I'd ever felt, and consequently, the scariest. I watched her chase Jake around the beach and realized, with much shame, that she aroused me. That kiss had set me on fire. It wasn't my first kiss. Hell, I wasn't even a virgin. Jared had seen to getting me laid years before, still there had never been anything like that kiss.

At that point, I took off towards the house, running as fast as I could while Ness and Jake screamed "Where are you going?" I didn't bother to answer them and I didn't dare phase, in fear that someone else might be phased and hear my disgraceful realization.

The next day, Jake was in my room, trying to pull the covers off of me, while I laid in bed. "Damn it, Seth! Move your ass! Our flight leaves in 4 hours. You gotta finish packing, say goodbye to everyone and we still have the drive to Seattle. We have to check in and all that shit, too, so get out of bed!" He pulled the cover too hard and since I still had my death grip on the other end of it, we ripped it in two.

"Now you see, what happens?" he scolded me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm not going," I told him, from under my cover, somehow believing the cover would hide my guilt.

"What?!" he asked incredulously. "What do you mean you're not going?"

"I decided I can't leave my Mom," I told him simply, hoping he would believe that. He didn't.

"Seth. If you don't start telling me what's going on, I'm gonna have to alpha-it out of you," he threatened softly.

I inhaled deeply and uncovered my face. "Look, Jake. This is a chance for you and Ness to go to college together and have fun. You don't need me taggin' along like always," I explained.

"That's not the case, Seth. Now, get your ass up, because there is no way I'm telling Nessie that you aren't going. She's so excited that you're coming. It'll upset her if you don't come and I can't have that. So, let's go," he stated, tossing my jeans at me. And even though my mind was telling me that it wasn't such a good idea, the thought of not following _her_ made my heart break. So, I went. We all did. Nessie sat between Jake and I on the flight to New York and then on the other to London, with Edward glancing at me from time to time, no doubt reading my mind.

That was the start of years of Nessie being caught between Jake and I and all of us being confused.

We had been in England for only a couple of weeks, when Ness and I went to get our books for our classes. "I'm so excited, Seth!" Ness said, jumping up and down and holding on to my arm. I hated myself for it, but I was beyond proud to have her on my arm. Ness and I were both going to study medicine eventually, making Carlisle so proud. We both wanted to be doctors, to help people. I wanted to be a cardiologist, especially after my father's heart attack. Ness wanted to be a pediatrician. She had a way with kids.

"I know! Me too!" I told her, jumping up and down with her. She laughed at me and jumped even higher with me. Although we were still jumping at human heights, people started staring at us and muttering something about "dorks." Neither one of us cared.

As we paid for our books and supplies, it started to pour, the rain pounding on the ground outside. Ness looked at me sweetly and asked, "Do you want to go get a coffee after this?" I couldn't refuse. So, we ran through the rain together, books in hand, to a nearby coffee shop. She went to grab a seat on a couch, while I ordered the drinks. Ness didn't like coffee, but she loved chocolate, so I ordered a black coffee for myself and a hot chocolate for her.

We sat, drenched, in a corner of the café. I looked at her and couldn't help but laugh. Her hair was stuck to her face, covering half of it. I moved it to the side and behind her ear, happy to be touching her. I realized the moment I lingered too long, when her amused look turned to a questioning one. I dropped my hand, turned to my coffee and took a sip.

"Seth?" she asked softly. I didn't want to look at her. She knew. She'd felt it. So, I just continued to stare into my coffee. "Seth. Please look at me." When I still didn't do as she asked, she grabbed my chin with her tiny fingers and forced me to look into her angelic face. "What's going on? You've been acting weird since we left Washington."

What was I supposed to tell her? That I loved her? That I wanted her? That I was the worst friend in the world? That she and Jake deserved anyone else as their friend besides me? I debated for a long while. Eventually, she got tired of waiting.

"I feel it, too," she told me, surprising the shit out of me. This time, she looked down at her beverage. "I'm confused, too. I don't understand why." She looked up at me, her eyes searching mine for some answer.

I grabbed her hand and mustered up the courage to speak, "I'm sorry, Ness. I don't get it either. I mean, you're Nessie! You're Jake's imprint! This attraction I have to you is so not cool! And, I'm seriously freaking out here! I mean, you're my friend! Jake's my friend and my alpha. I'm really trying to work this out in my head." I tried explaining it to her the best I could. I told her about my embarrassing thoughts and the shame I felt as a result of thinking those thoughts.

She listened attentively and thought for a moment before asking, "This just started the day before we left?"

"Yeah," I answered, not sure where she was going.

She nodded and replied with a "hm."

"Why?" I asked her.

She doubted for a moment, let out a long sigh and then confessed, "I've had a crush on you for a while. I mean . . . I guess it's a crush. I love Jake! Jake is it, but . . . "she shook her head, desperately trying to comprehend the situation, "but, I have feelings for you too, Seth, and I don't know what to do about it." She was frustrated, as frustrated as I was.

Tears began to swell in her brown eyes and I took her in my arms as she cried softly in my chest. "I feel like such a bad girlfriend, Seth! What do I tell Jake?"

I had no idea how to answer that, so I said sympathetically, "I don't know, honey. I was hoping you could answer the same question." She looked up at me and if her cell phone wouldn't have buzzed at that exact moment, I'm certain we would've kissed.

We jerked away from each other, as if we'd been caught and she quickly answered her phone. It was Jake, wondering where she was. She told him and Edward and him both started over to the café. They had decided to study engineering together. She told him goodbye and that she loved him, making me smile and wanting to punch something at the same time. After snapping her phone shut, she jumped up, grabbed her purse and ran to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she came back, looking fresher than ever, all signs of tears were now gone. Edward and Jake came through the door at that moment. Jake made a bee line for Nessie and Edward casually sat down across from me, giving me that all-knowing-Edward-Cullen look. For some unknown reason, he grinned a small amount and then looked away.

Ness and I let it drop for the time being. But, soon classes had started and we spent a lot of time together, just the two of us. In spite of our feelings of guilt, shame and confusion, we didn't stop ourselves from showing each other affection when we were alone: a slight touch on the cheek, a suggestive smile, tickling, flirting . . . it all began to build. It had been a little over 6 weeks since we'd moved to England and I had avoided phasing, avoided Jake, whose relationship with Ness was growing as well.

The next few weeks were brutal. Everyone had noticed a shift in my attitude and Nessie's attitude. With every glance, Jasper's eyebrow kept getting higher and higher until I found myself wondering just how high his brow could actually go. He obviously felt the feelings Nessie and I were experiencing. Alice was just as confused, as she nosed around in our futures. Edward kept quiet, but I knew he was right there listening to every thought we both had, whether he wanted to or not. Bella didn't need a gift to notice. Her eyes were constantly moving between the two of us. However, in spite of everyone's obvious recognition of the situation, they didn't say anything. At least not to me. If they spoke to Nessie about it, I had no idea. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. Until Jake had started to notice, his looks becoming increasingly more suspicious day by day.

One night in class, Ness had placed her hand on my thigh, quickly getting my attention. She stared into my eyes and smiled seductively. She stayed that way for a few seconds, before snapping back to reality. I had never been more aroused in my life than in that moment. She did that to me. But, my arousal quickly disappeared as a horrified look crossed her face. She was upset with herself. I knew that, but it still hurt. Even though we were still in the middle of a lecture, she stood up quietly, collected her things and walked out. I followed her, out into the rain.

"Nessie!" I screamed, running after her. She kept going. She ran and I chased her for what seemed like forever. Finally, she stopped under a large oak tree.

"Nessie, I'll leave," I told her simply. "I'll leave and then you and Jake can be together, be happy. This was why I didn't want to come. This is too hard, Ness. Look at us. We can't do this to ourselves, each other, Jake. We both love him too much. Don't we?"

She turned around to face me, the rain running down her face. "Damn it, Seth." Then she grabbed my shirt, pulled me down towards her and kissed me, hard. I knew she was strong, but she shocked me. I kissed her back, while my mind shouted at me that I was a total asshole. We released all our tension in that kiss, letting our tongues explore each other's mouths with a fury. My hands were all over her, as she held onto me tightly. This lasted for a while, until I needed to breathe. She whimpered as I tried to release her. She finally conceded and pulled away, as we both gasped for air. She gave me one last, tiny kiss on my lips and then pulled away completely. We didn't look at each other, but both our heads snapped up at Jake's voice.

"So . . . "Jake started, standing in the rain, only a few feet from us on our left. I'd never seen such pain on his face before. I wanted to punch myself, but I stood there frozen. He didn't look at me, only at Renesmee, his eyes displaying all the agony he must've been experiencing. Nessie was as still as I. "I heard Seth screaming your name and ran out of class to find out what was going on. I was worried. But, I also wanted to see. To see whatever it was that is going on with the two of you. I . . . ugh . . . "he couldn't continue, just ran his hands through his soaked hair.

Ness and I both just stood there, stupidly staring at him. He still wouldn't look at me. "You have something to say?" he asked her.

She shook her head and replied softly, "I can't explain it. I don't know why. I love _you_ and I love .. . ."she gestured to me. She didn't finish the words, but she didn't need to. We both understood.

Jake nodded and finally let his hands fall from his hands to his sides. "I see." They didn't take their eyes off each other and I knew I needed to leave.

"Should I go?" I asked, whoever would answer. Nessie nodded yes, without glancing at me.

I picked up my books and materials, ruined from the rain, and walked up to Jake. "Jake, man, I'm so sorry."

He just shook his head and replied calmly, "Go away, Seth. Not now." He wouldn't look at me, so I left them alone: the imprinter and the imprinted.

I felt ridiculous. I was the third wheel-that was clear-trapped in a triangle that should've been just a straight line from Jake to Nessie. I didn't go home that night. I was too humiliated by my actions. I felt like I had stabbed my best friends in their backs: Jake _and_ Nessie. I knew I should've told Jake. After all, as Oscar Wilde said, "A true friend stabs you in the front."

_The Present . . ._

The radar gun started beeping, pulling me out of my memoirs of Nessie. The car flew by and I knew exactly who it was. She always did this. So, I turned on the siren and lights, pulled the car out and followed her for a few seconds until she pulled over. I turned off the siren, climbed out of my car and walked over to the driver's side of the car. I motioned for her to roll down the window. She complied. I leaned down and smiled at Mrs. Robinson. Yes, that was seriously her name.

"Good morning, Mrs. Robinson," I greeted her.

"Good morning, Deputy. Was I going to fast?" she pouted. Mrs. Robinson was the mayor's wife. She was in her mid-fifties and still looking very good for her age, with her red hair and bright, blue eyes. Her skin was flawless, for a human anyway. Every morning, after her husband left for the office, Mrs. Robinson went to church, although I wouldn't exactly have called her a good Christian. I pulled her over nearly every morning for speeding. I gave her tickets some mornings, but not all. She was just too sexy to ticket all the time.

"Yes, ma'am. I clocked you at sixty. You know the limit is forty, Mrs. Robinson."

We did this all the time. We'd go back and forth for a few minutes before I'd let her go with a "warning." In truth, I liked flirting with the old gal. She'd tried to get me to go home with her a few times. She wasn't a shy woman, that's for certain, but I wouldn't do it. If I went home with her, I'd fuck her and well, that would mean breaking rule number one and consequently, rule number two. So, that wasn't happening.

_Or could it? _I wondered. Maybe it was time to shake things up a bit. I considered it for a moment and decided not to take her home, but to bite her. I'd alway_s _wondered how she tasted. She smelled great. I decided to just _try_ her, heal her wound and compel her to forget it ever happened. I leaned in to bite her, when my cell rang.

I smiled seductively at her, "Excuse me one second, Mrs. R." She smiled and told me to go ahead. I stepped back from her car and pulled out my cell.

I looked at the number in shock. I doubted for a second and then hurried to answer it. I couldn't fucking believe it. "Jake?"

There was silence on the other end for a moment, before he spoke, his voice filled with sadness, "Seth. I have bad news."

***A/N: I hope you liked the chapter! I thought it was necessary to go ahead and build a little of the background between Seth and Nessie. But, this is just the start of the story! There is so much more! So, I look forward to writing the next chapter and I hope you'll be there to read it! **

**Thank you for your continued support and if you have anything at all to say or suggest, please review! I would greatly appreciate it!**


	9. Chapter 9 - Joyful and Painful

***A/N: I know it's been awhile. Life has been hectic to say the least, but I think about updating every day. To be honest, it plagues my mind. But, it's just impossible. So, I made time in my day today to write. **

**Fair warning: This chapter is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster! So, prepare yourself! In any case, I do hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 9 – Joyful and Painful

Elizabeth's POV

The house was filled with excitement. The joy in the air was nearly tangible. Our camping trip had been cut short yesterday. Mama and I had been talking in the tent, when suddenly she jumped up and ran outside. I heard it a second later: someone was throwing up. It was something I had seen humans do before, but had never seen anyone in my family do. Outside, we saw Leah standing by her tent, crouched over and heaving. JJ was freaking out beside her.

"Carlisle!" he screamed. Grandpa was already by her side, with everyone else standing near as well. She kept going for a couple of more minutes, before finally stopping. The initial reaction among the family was shock. As I said before, no one in our family was ever sick. This didn't happen to us, so for a moment, everyone stood there in silence. Well, everyone besides JJ, who was still screaming at Grandpa to do something.

Grandpa spoke in a calm voice, "We should get her back to the house. Leah, do you feel well enough to travel?"

She looked queasy, but well enough. "Yes," she answered. So, the entire family, with their supernatural speed, packed up our camping supplies swiftly and we returned to our home.

Once we had arrived, Grandpa quickly got to work, reviewing her symptoms and body. It didn't take long for him to come to a cheerful and shocking revelation: Leah was pregnant. It was something we never thought possible, at least not while she was still shifting. But, apparently, we'd been wrong. They hadn't even been trying for a baby, but it had happened.

We were all in the large, all-white living room. I sat on the large couch beside Leah, with JJ on the other side of her, holding her hand. Leah was beaming – a permanent smile glued to her face. She caressed her belly sweetly and only took her eyes off it to look at JJ, who I'd never seen so happy in my life. His eyes constantly shifted between Leah's stomach and her face. He gazed at her in a wondrous awe. He hadn't said much, but he didn't need to. His face displayed his jubilation.

"It's a miracle!" Nana shouted, tearless sobs coming from her throat.

Mama was literally jumping up and down. "I can't believe it! I'm finally going to be a grandmother!" Daddy laughed beside her, but didn't try to hold her still.

"I can't believe it either," he said, calmly. "This is great surprise. I'm very happy for you, son."

Grandma and Poppy stood next to each other at the end of the couch, their arms wrapped around each other. They were laughing and smiling ridiculously along with the rest of us. They were so proud. After all, it was their love for each other that had started this odd, yet loving family.

Masen and Samantha sat on the opposite couch, facing us. They looked hopefully at each other. After all, Leah's pregnancy gave Samantha hope that one day she could be in the same situation. All those years, we'd thought that the only possible way for them to get pregnant would be for her to stop phasing. For Masen and JJ, the idea of their mates stopping to shift was nearly unbearable. What if they stopped for a while and couldn't phase back again? That would mean their mates would grow old, while they stayed young forever. So, with that horrific idea, both couples had accepted that they'd never have children. They preferred forever with their significant other, to forever with children.

"So, I guess it's possible, just difficult," reasoned Carlisle.

Rosalie spoke next, "That's not so uncommon. After all, it can be very difficult for humans to conceive as well." Always the baby lover, she had actually been the first to suggest that perhaps Leah was pregnant.

Alice, although thrilled like the rest of us, was also quite frustrated, as she sat in the corner rubbing her temples. "Every time someone gets knocked up in this family, I start getting headaches! They are super painful!" She couldn't see the baby, just like with my mother, my brothers and myself.

As I sat watching Leah's hand making tiny circles on her belly, I couldn't stop smiling and even though my cheeks were hurting, I didn't want to stop smiling. I had never really been around a baby. I'd been the last baby in the family, but this time, I would be there for the arrival of my little niece or nephew! I was going to be an aunt! I couldn't wait to experience all the wonderful moments that came with watching a helpless newborn grow into a rambunctious child and then into a moody teenager and finally, into a mature adult. Then, I thought of something. I turned to Grandpa and asked, "How long do you think she'll be pregnant?"

Grandpa's shoulders shrugged as he answered, "I can't be certain, but I'd guess about as long as Nessie had been, two to three months. Perhaps four."

We stayed in the living room for a long time, talking and laughing, until finally going to bed. It was late Sunday morning and we'd been up all night. Those of us who needed sleep were exhausted.

After putting on my pajamas and climbing into bed, I was surprised to find that I couldn't sleep. Despite being very tired, I tossed and turned for a long time. I lied in my bed and thought of the baby and Leah, but mostly, I thought about JJ. My big brother.

When I was younger, I had always believed that JJ was far too rough on me. While learning to walk, with my disability, I fell all the time. When I would fall, everyone else in my family would pick me up and comfort me. But, not JJ. He would stand there and tell me to get over it and get my ass up. When I would complain about not being able to see or hear as well as the others, he would say the same thing – get the hell over it. My grandparents and parents constantly yelled at him for yelling at me. Leah lectured him often as well. It wasn't until I was fully grown that I took the time to look in his head in an attempt to understand why he treated me that way. From that moment on, I understood and I had never felt more flattered. JJ believed in me like no one else. He didn't feel the need to baby me, because he saw strength in me that no one else did-the ability to overcome anything. The others, I knew, looked at me and felt pity for me, but not JJ. He never doubted that I'd live, and live well, with what God had given me. That's why he pushed me. He had confidence in me and that's what he wanted me to find -confidence in myself

And, it's not like he was always bossing me around. JJ and I had a lot of fun together. He is my concert buddy. He takes me to every concert he possibly can, just him and I. Despite my family's objections, he always buys tickets for us right in the front. Everyone was worried I'd get hurt and I swear Mama nearly has a heart attack each time we go to a concert, but JJ never worries about me. He knows I can take care of myself.

He's my Nascar buddy, too. We don't get to go often to the races, but we never miss them on TV. There is nothing like a giant plate of nachos and a good Nascar race. It's our tradition. Just the two of us.

And then there is Valentine's Day. We both veto that holiday, seeing as it is the most ridiculous holiday ever. We aren't romance Nazis. In fact, JJ can be quite cheesy with Leah sometimes. But, on that particular day, all romance is off. All that stupid day does is gives people an excuse to wait for one day a year to tell their loved ones how precious they are and not always through deep, meaningful gestures, but more often through expensive, empty-hearted gifts. So, every year, we spend the day melting Valentine's Day chocolates, shredding roses and stuffed teddy bears and watching gory movies. Leah even joins us on that day. She thinks it stupid, too.

So, I lied there in my bed, reminiscing about all the good times I'd had with JJ, until I fell into a peaceful and long-awaited sleep.

I slept until late that afternoon. When I got up, I ran downstairs and to the kitchen. I could hear everyone in there, bustling about. Apparently, the others had just gotten up, too. Nana and Grandma whizzed around the kitchen, preparing meat loaf, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, salad and homemade rolls. I didn't like most of it and I wasn't too hungry, having just fed on blood, but I'd take a small salad and a roll.

We all sat down at the long, dining room table, most of us still in pajamas. My brothers went for the food like rabid dogs, while I sat and picked at mine.

"So," Leah started, a huge smile of her face, "JJ and I were thinking and we are going to go away for a couple of days to New York." This wasn't uncommon. They had a small apartment there, and went whenever they felt the need for some privacy. At this particular moment, it was understandable that they would want to bask in their baby-making joy alone together.

"For how long?" Poppy asked, a worried look on his face.

Grandma's face mirrored his. "Hopefully not too long. After all, if something were to happen, we wouldn't want you to be so far away from Carlisle."

Grandpa agreed, "Yes. Now is a time to be very cautious. We certainly don't anticipate any problems, but Leah does need to be monitored."

JJ nodded his head in agreement and said, "We know. Believe me, I was hesitant at first, too, but Leah wants a little privacy. It's just for two days and then, we'll be back."

Everyone turned to Alice to see if it would be okay. Her eyes glazed over for a moment. Then, a pissed off look crossed her face. She jumped up from the table, rubbed her head and stomped off through the double doors that led outside and into the woods. "I can't believe it! Freaking hate it when I can't see anything! And no one even cares! No one understands . . . "

Eventually, my ears lost her.

Nana cleared her throat, dragging everyone's attention from Alice's little tantrum and back to the table. "Well, I think it would be perfect for the two of you! Besides, you'll have to be here when you get closer to the end of your pregnancy. It's a more critical time and after that, well," she laughed, sweetly, "you won't have much privacy after the baby is here! You might as well take advantage."

Not everyone looked so sure, but after supper, Leah and JJ booked their flights to New York to leave the following morning.

"Why not drive?" asked Uncle Emmett to my brother. "New York isn't that far. In a hurry to get her alone, huh? Don't be too rough on her, sport. She is carrying a baby, now. Gotta be a little gentler." JJ laughed and Leah slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

Uncle Emmett went on. He was clearly in a joking mood tonight. "You wouldn't want to damage the baby's . . ."

"Emmett!" Aunt Rose shouted. "Shut up and stop being stupid!"

Aunt Alice returned in time to help Leah with the packing. I went with them to Leah and JJ's room. She and I sat and talked while Aunt Alice threw clothes at us to fold and put in their suitcases.

"So, what does it feel like?" I asked Leah.

"What? Being pregnant?" she wondered.

I had a bad habit of thinking that everyone followed my train of thought. I laughed. "No. Throwing up. What does it feel like?"

Leah burst into laughter and rolled on the bed. When she calmed down, she said, "the fact that you even ask that shows just how strange this family is."

I stuck my tongue out at her and laid down beside her. We turned on our sides to face each other, our heads on the pillows.

Aunt Alice came out of the closet for the third time, to pull the clothes out of the bags and hang them back up again. "I can't see what you are supposed to wear!" she complained.

"You know Alice, everyone else in the world can pick out their clothing without seeing themselves in the future wearing it. And as far as I can tell, no one has ever died from that," Leah teased.

Aunt Alice narrowed her eyes at Leah. "Do you think that's funny?"

Leah and I both nodded and laughed. Aunt Alice stuck her tongue out at us and went back into the walk-in closet to find their perfect outfits for the trip. Leah and I turned to face each other again. She put her hand on her stomach and I'm pretty sure it was an involuntary action. She was already protective of her offspring. It was adorable. Her face was precious. She was on cloud nine.

"I'm so happy, Lizzie!"

I smiled back at her. "I know! Me too!"

"I just can't believe this is happening! I feel like this is all a dream! I never thought that. . ."She didn't finish, but she didn't need to. Tears began to slowly fall down her cheeks and there was no mistaking them for sad tears. They were tears of pure elation.

I reached over to the box of Kleenexes beside the bed, pulled one out and passed it to her. She chuckled and wiped the tears off her face. "You deserve this happiness. You and JJ. That kid is going to be the most spoiled baby ever!" I told her.

She smiled and asked, "And just how do you know that?"

"Because I'm going to be the one to spoil him! Or her! Or them! Seriously, Aunt Lizzie is going to turn them into the biggest brats ever!" I enthused.

She laughed and looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "I've never seen JJ so happy. You know Lizzie, fifty years ago, I would've sworn that I would've always been alone in this world. After Sam, I was left feeling betrayed, lost, alone, worthless, unworthy. I spent so many years being sad and angry."

For a second, she looked sad. Her eyes showed the pain she'd felt all those years ago. I was about to tell her that now things were better, but she stopped me. "And then," she started, looking happy once again, "in 2025, so many years ago, I found my hope again when I looked into JJ's eyes. The day he was born, I was reborn. I was given a reason for existing. I spent all those years watching him grow up . . . "

She went on. I knew the story well, although I'd never heard her tell it with such emotion. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe her guard was down. I listened as she retold the story of JJ maturing and one day, imprinting on her as well. A double imprint, just like Masen and Samantha later had.

"The day I married your brother was the most wonderful day of my life. Until today." She was silent once again. Their wedding had been lovely. I wasn't there to see it. They got married just six months before I was born, but I'd seen the pictures and videos a million times. She looked down at her hand lying gently across her stomach. "My wedding day and today would be perfect if Seth were here."

She started crying again, but this time they were tears of sadness and I didn't know what to do to make her feel better. Leah didn't cry in front of others. She thought it showed weakness and she was a woman who was determined to always appear strong.

"I miss him, Lizzie," she confessed. Leah never talked about Seth. I knew she thought of him all the time, but I'd never heard her speak of him. In fact, no one in the family spoke about Seth when Leah was around. Not if they could help it. "You know, Lizzie, after my father died, Seth became the man of the house. He was only a kid, but he took care of my mom and I. There were so many times that he was stronger than me. And, now . . . he's my little brother and he's alone. Just like I used to be. I was always supposed to protect him and I didn't. I still don't. He needs me. I know he does and I'm not there for him."

She went on like that for a few more minutes. I held her hand as she cried and continued to pass her more Kleenexes. She was all over the place today. Happy, then sad. Happy, then sad. I supposed that it was the pregnancy, but really had no clue what was going on. Aunt Alice never did come out of the closet with more clothes. Either she was really having trouble picking out their outfits, or she was giving us a little privacy.

Eventually, Leah stopped crying, looked me in the eyes and said, "Anyway! Ugh! Life is hard sometimes, Lizzie. It never quite works out the way we think it should. We get thrown down often, but when we rise, we show our strength, our determination to live on. We push forward, because that's the only direction we can push. We can't push backwards, so there's no point in trying. Always remember that, Lizzie. If there is anything I want you to learn from me, that I want my baby to learn from me, is that our strength is not measured by how often we fall, but how well we rise afterwards."

I nodded, taking in her words. She smiled at me and said, "I think I'm going to go see what that crazy brother of yours is up to."

"Ha!" I laughed loudly. "Which crazy brother?" Although I obviously knew who she was referring to. They couldn't stay away from each other for long. She hopped out of bed and skipped out the door.

I got up to leave, too, but was stopped by Aunt Alice. "I have found the outfits!" She thrust the clothes at me to fold and I didn't bother objecting. It would've done no good.

The next morning, Monday morning, Daddy and I drove Leah and JJ to the airport. They were taking the early flight, leaving out at six in the morning. We went inside with them and watched as they waited in line for the ticket counter to check-in. They had their arms wrapped tightly around each other, and were caught up so deeply in each other that they had to be asked several times to step to the counter. Finally, the grumpy man standing behind them got their attention and commanded them to move forward.

Daddy and I laughed and shook our heads playfully at them. We escorted them to security, and said our good-byes there. As Leah and I hugged and said our farewells, I overheard Daddy's conversation with JJ.

Daddy had his hands on JJ's shoulders and said to him, "Son, I'm so damn happy for you right now. And proud. Thank you for . . . well, for everything. I love you, kid. Take care of yourself and your wife. We'll be here to pick you up when you get back. If your returning flight changes, just send a text message or something. Oh and if you have any trouble . . ."

"Dad," JJ said simply, a lopsided grin on his russet face. "We've got it from here. It's only two days. We'll be alright and if there is anything we need, we'll let you know, alright?" He slapped Dad on the shoulder.

Dad smiled and chuckled once, "Sure, sure." He pulled JJ in and gave him a long hug and then kissed him on the forehead. "Take care, son." He kissed Leah on the cheek and then patted her belly sweetly. "Bye grandbaby!"

JJ picked me up and swung me around in a circle. "Have a good time," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Yep and don't forget we have the concert this weekend!" He reminded me. I'd forgotten. I nodded in agreement. "Love you, Lizzie." He kissed me on the cheek.

"I love you, too!" I told him. We watched as they made their way through the security line, passed the metal detectors and waved as they disappeared down the hall.

"Let's get home!" Daddy said.

An hour or so later, we arrived back at the house. Everyone was talking about a surprise home for JJ and Leah, and the future baby. Nana already had the blueprints spread out, assigning jobs to everyone. We sat for a while discussing the layout and logistics. We were all excited to do this for them. With the new baby, it was sure they would feel more comfortable if they had a small home to themselves, so they could have a moment in time to be a normal family.

The house phone rang and as I was the closest, I reached over to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Good morning. My name is Michelle and I'm calling on behalf of East Coast Airways. May I please speak to Mr. Jacob Black?"

"Of course," I said, handing the phone to Daddy, who'd already heard, along with everyone else in the room. They all looked at Daddy and the phone in his hand curiously.

_Stupid supernatural hearing_, I thought. They all could hear, but not me. It really wasn't fair.

After a moment of having the phone by his ear, everything happened very fast. Mama passed out. Something I'd never seen her do. Nana fell to her knees. Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice let out a scream. There were several gasps and Poppy was holding Grandma up – a vampire. She looked like she was hyperventilating, although I knew that wasn't possible. It was obvious something terrible had happened. I began to panic then, as I watched my father's russet face turn white. He fell back against the wall and dropped the phone.

I looked at Poppy. _What is it?! _I demanded in my head.

He looked at me, deep confusion and pain in his eyes, "Their plane went down right before getting to New York. Problem with the engine."

I quickly took out my phone and dialed JJ's number. "But, they probably made it out," I told everyone, denying any idea that my brother could be gone. "They could've jumped before it hit the ground! They could've made it." When JJ didn't answer, I tried Leah's cell. No answer. "We should go look. They are still alive somewhere. I'm sure." And, I believed that. It was easier to believe.

By that moment, Daddy had hung up the phone and was trying to wake Mama up. She was slowly coming to. Poppy was still trying to support Grandma. Billy and Teresa stood off in one corner, both crying. Masen and Samantha were in another, sobbing. Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper stood frozen, looking more statue-like than I had ever seen them look. Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose were embracing each other. Grandpa, after checking that Mama was okay, went to comfort Nana who sat in the floor rocking her body back and forth, crying tearless cries. And, I stood there, alone.

"They could still be alive!" I shouted, frustrated with everyone in the room for giving up on them so easily. They were strong, capable, supernatural beings. They could've survived a plane crash.

"No, baby, they couldn't have," said Poppy, his voice breaking. He sat Grandma on the couch, who was still looking too far gone, and came over to put his hands on my shoulders. "Lizzie. The plane exploded in the air. They couldn't have survived that."

"What?" I asked. I heard his words perfectly, but my mind didn't comprehend them. It was as if I truly didn't understand. I had never felt so confused. I pushed my grandfather away and continued to dial JJ's and Leah's cell phone numbers. They let me do it. No one tried to stop me. I didn't try to stop me. I heard my mother begging God, between her sobs, to return her son to her.

After several minutes of trying to get them on the phone, I gave up. With surprising strength, I crushed the phone in my hands. I dropped it-a twisted pile of metal-to the floor. With determination, I grabbed my car keys off the table by the door and ran outside.

"Lizzie!" cried my Daddy. "Lizzie! Where are you going?!" Tears streamed down his face.

"To find them! You and Mama and Poppy and Grandma and Grandpa and Nana and everyone else are just so ready to give up and assume they are dead! Not me! My brother is not dead! JJ is not gone and if you want to just sit here on your ass and believe that he is, then fine! Then, stay here! But, I'm going to find him!" I yelled and yelled at Daddy, screamed at him. I hated him at that moment. I hated everyone in that house. I didn't understand them and their ability to just hand over someone they supposedly loved so easily to death.

Daddy let me shout at him. I stood there for so long, yelling and crying, that I didn't even realize when I'd fallen into his arms. He held me tightly and let me cry and cry, as the realization sank in. I was angry. I was in denial. Somewhere deep down, I knew that. Accepting the truth or denying the truth didn't change it. And the truth, the horrific, harsh, heart-breaking truth was that my brother, my JJ, his wife and his baby were all gone.

Daddy and I returned to the house to find everyone in states of shock, grief, confusion and anger. The pain in the room was tangible. I laughed sardonically when I realized that I had just the thought the same thing about the joy we'd experienced not even 48 hours before.

At that moment, I was grateful not be Uncle Jasper, who was trying, unsuccessfully, to soothe all of us with his gift. I kept his gift far from my mind, not wanting to feel all the pain in the room that everyone else was experiencing. I had enough pain of my own. The room was spinning. I fell on the couch and curled myself into a ball, squeezed my eyes tightly together and tried hard to catch my breath. I sobbed so hard that it wasn't long before I felt a strange feeling in my stomach. I sat up. Poppy must've noticed what I was feeling; because he quickly shoved a trash can in my direction.

As I threw up, I thought, _so this is what it feels like. _It was awful. Unnatural and something I was sure I never wanted to feel again. Mama came over and ran her hands through my hair as I heaved.

It wasn't long before Mama spoke to Daddy. "You should call him."

Daddy knew who she was talking about. We all did. "He didn't even go to his mother's funeral, Nessie."

Mama's voice grew, "Jacob, damn it! Just call him! She was his sister!"

Daddy didn't bother to protest again. He knew Mama meant business and didn't want to argue. So, he picked up the phone. I looked up from my trash can and watched as he dialed. He hesitated for a moment and then hit send. He waited for an instant and then said, with sadness filling his voice, "Seth, I have bad news."

I listened as Daddy told Seth what had happened. He told him about the pregnancy and then about the tragedy. As I listened, I recalled what I'd said to Daddy during our moment at the campsite together:

"_We may not age. But we can die."_

***A/N: Please don't hate me too much! In life, we lose people; I want to make the family seem as real as possible. They suffer, too. Not everything can be perfect all the time. No family has that, right? **

**But, not to worry! We will see more of JJ and Leah as we relive moments with them through the memories of others. After all, when someone dies, they live on in our memories and JJ and Leah will be no exception.**

**If you have an extra second, please review! I appreciate all reviews! They make my day! So, thanks to those of you have taken the time to give me a little feedback!**

**Until next time, take care!**


	10. Chapter 10 - A Brother's Memories

***A/N: Let's enjoy a bit of a memory reel with Seth! I want to tell you how imagine the flashbacks-similar to a flashback in a movie. Bits and pieces of a story, not the whole thing. After all, when we remember past events, we don't think about beginning to end of the moment. We remember bits and pieces of it. And of course, from the way we experienced/saw it. So, I think that would be helpful when reading this chapter. Enjoy!**

Chapter 10 – A Brother's Memories

Seth's POV

I remembered answering the phone. I remembered listening to Jake tell me that Leah had become pregnant. I remembered listening to Jake tell me that Leah had died. I didn't, however, remember ripping my phone in two. I didn't remember ripping the car door off of Mrs. Robinson's car and I sure as hell didn't remember ripping her throat out.

_So much for rules one and two_, I thought.

I stared down at the mess I'd made. Mrs. Robinson's body laid a few feet from me. Blood covered her body, the ground around her and my clothes. I wiped my hands on my uniform and tried to organize my thoughts. I checked her body and was relieved to find it hadn't been completely destroyed. I had only drained her, rather sloppily, of blood. Her head was practically off her body, but the rest of it was intact.

_At least, I didn't rip her into shreds_, I thought. I had, apparently, controlled myself to some point.

And, that was impressive, considering the news I'd just heard. When my mother had died nineteen years ago, I'd blacked out for days and snapped to, only to find that I'd left an entire African village in ruins. So, what did it mean? That my sister's death didn't affect me as much as my mother's? Or did it simply mean that I wasn't the completely evil bastard that I had once been? I was confused about my reaction, but I didn't waste too much time worrying about it. I had business to take care of.

I immediately began to crush Mrs. Robinson's car with my hands until it was nothing more than a large, metal basketball. Then, I took several bottles of water from the trunk of my car and used them to wash the blood away from the road and grass. I threw her body in the woods and parked my car so that it was hidden from human view. I removed my clothes and threw them into the growing pile. I watched as Mrs. Robinson's body, her car and my clothes burnt and turned into nothing more than a pile of melted metal and ash. While I watched I tried to keep my thoughts as far as I could from Leah. I didn't need to black out again and I knew that's what would've happened had I chosen to dwell on her death. Instead, I stay focused and cleaned up the disaster. I ground up her bones and took all the ashes and molten metal, put them into a trash bag and ran quickly home.

On the way home, I zoomed past Subway's dumpster and dumped the trash bag. I suppose you'd call my home a "home." I had a one-bedroom apartment, containing only the bare essentials. In the living room, there was nothing – just four walls and a carpet. The kitchen had a fridge filled with half-eaten take-out boxes, and a trash can filled with empty take-out boxes. In the bedroom, my mattress was shoved against the wall, the single pillow and blanket haphazardly thrown across it. Books laid in cluttered piles around the room. I only kept my clothes neatly hung. Other than that, neatness wasn't a concern of mine.

I headed to the bathroom and quickly jumped in the shower, which didn't have a curtain. I watched as the water mixed with the blood on my body, slowly trickled down my arms, my chest and my legs and then vanished down the drain. I lathered my body with soap, rinsed off and towel-dried myself in a hurry.

After putting on a different uniform, I ran through the woods and back to where I'd parked my car. I got in and got back to work. I pulled the car off the road again and I sat and waited for the next person to go speeding by. A little over an hour had passed since I'd received that phone call from Jake.

And, as always, as I waited, I remembered. Only this time, it wasn't about Nessie. This time, as much as I didn't want to, I thought about Leah.

_Fifty-Five Years Ago . . . _

"Seth!" Leah screamed. She was seriously pissed.

I laughed as she ran from me, covered in water from the balloon I'd just thrown at her. I grabbed another and aimed it directly for her back. She turned to face me, eyes blazing.

"Seth! So help me, if you hit me with another damn balloon!"

"Oooh! I'm going to tell Mom that you cussed!" I threatened her.

"I don't care! Go ahead and tell her! And I'll tell her that you, Jake and Quil were the ones that took her car for a joy ride and left it in the ditch down the road!"

I lowered the balloon. "You wouldn't!"

She knew she had me then. The week before, Quil had gotten this great idea to drive to Port Angeles. Jake had claimed that he could drive, but we needed a car. Mom and Dad had gone to a council meeting, so we thought it was the perfect opportunity to go to PA. Suffice it to say, we were wrong and Jake couldn't drive.

Leah answered me then, "Oh! I sooooo would! Just try me!"

I sighed in defeat, shrugged my shoulders and dropped my arm by my side. "You suck!"

"You suck!"

"You used to be fun, until you started seeing Sam. Now, you're like all boring and such a girl!" I complained.

She looked pitifully at me. "Seth. I know I've been ignoring you lately, but Sam is really important to me. He's my first boyfriend! You have to try and understand."

I understood. I actually really liked Sam, but Leah and I didn't spend as much time together and that was sometimes a bummer. I loved being around her. She was so much fun and so easy going. She was the best sister a kid could want, as far as I was concerned. I didn't want her feelin' bad about it or anything though, so I told her, "I know. It's cool!" I still liked pissin' her off though, so I threw the balloon right at her. I didn't wait to see where it hit her, just took off running like a bat out of hell, all the while laughing my butt off.

"Damn it! Seth! Come back here!" She yelled after me for a while. I tried outrunning her, but there was no outrunning my sister. She was so fast! She tackled me and we went flying to the ground. We rolled for a second, before coming to a secure stop. She gave me a light punch in the stomach and stood up.

"Ha! Don't try to beat your big sister! I will always kick your scrawny, little butt!" While I knew she was trying to look serious, she couldn't keep the playful look off her face. She flipped me off, turned on one heel and started to walk away.

But, in the end, she turned around and offered her hand to help me up. I took it willingly.

_Fifty-Two Years Ago . . . _

I laid across the couch, shoving Doritos in my face and laughing my ass off at _That 70's Show_ – it was the one where Red finds out the whole gang was smoking pot and tries to keep them all in the house. It was hilarious! Mom and Dad were at yet another council meeting and Leah was out with Sam, who'd recently been acting really weird. So, I had the whole house to myself and was truly enjoying it. But, my enjoyment was short lived.

Suddenly, Leah burst through the door, ran past me and into her bedroom. She slammed the door shut. I shot up from the couch, Doritos and TV forgotten, and ran to her bedroom to find out exactly what the hell was going on. I could hear her crying from outside her bedroom door. I wondered if I should knock. Once I did, I immediately regretted it.

"Go away, Seth!" She screamed at me, far too angrily. I flinched back from her door and went away, just like she told me to.

Four days passed, she hadn't come out of her room and she hadn't eaten anything. Mom was very worried about her. Dad seemed worried, too. Although it seemed to me, that he knew something everyone else didn't. Sam had come by a couple of times, trying to talk to her, but she wouldn't see him. He looked just awful. While I was super mad at him for hurting my sis, I didn't feel the need to make things worse for him.

After another failed attempt to talk to Leah, he left the house. I followed after him. "Sam!" I shouted as I ran behind him.

He stopped and turned to me. His eyes were red, a clear sign of the pain he was experiencing, too. "I really am sorry, Seth," he explained. I could tell he meant it. His words were filled with regret and shame. "I wish I could've . . . "he stopped himself quickly. "I just mean, that if things could've been different . . . "

He waited for a moment and tried again, "If things weren't like they are. I mean . . . if I wasn't a . . . "

"Sam . . . "I told him, wanting to comfort him. Clearly he wanted to explain himself to me, but he didn't know how. I'd thought I'd understood at the time. "Sam, if you weren't happy with my sister. Then, the right thing was to let her go. Obviously, you feel something for our cousin. Which, I gotta tell you dude, is a little weird and twisted, but whatever. It wouldn't be right to lead Leah on if you don't feel the same way she does."

He nodded, looking completely unsatisfied by my words. He opened his mouth to say something and then ran off into the woods.

That night, I made Leah her favorite – a grilled cheese sandwich with mayo and a dill pickle. I went to her room and knocked, hopeful that she'd let me in. "Go away, Mom!"

"It's me," I told her softly.

There was silence for a moment and then a very faint, "Come in."

I opened the door slowly and walked in to find her lying in her bed, her back to me. She had only her bedside lamp on. Although it was dim, it was enough to see the piles of shredded photos of her and Sam together, lying all over the floor. She wasn't crying anymore. I guessed that she was all cried out. There were no more tears to shed. At least not for the moment. I stood there for a second.

"What do you want, Seth?" She asked me quietly. It broke my heart to see her like that. I wanted so badly to fix her heart, but I had no idea what to do. Plus, this was like serious girly stuff and I wasn't so good with that, either.

"I made you a grilled cheese. With mayo and a dill pickle!" I said, a little too enthusiastically.

"No, thanks."

I sighed. "C'mon, Leah. You haven't eaten in four days! Almost three! You gotta eat! C'mon! It's really, really yummy!"

She groaned and turned over to face me. Her face was all swollen from all the crying and lack of sleep. She stared up at me for a moment, sighed in defeat and finally conceded. "Fine."

I smiled in triumph and sat down on the bed beside her. I handed her the plate and watched as she slowly scooted herself up, reluctantly took the plate and begin nibbling slowly on the sandwich. "I'm not even hungry," she said, her voice was filled with sadness.

"I know Lee, but you have to eat. Mom is freakin'out! Dad's worried, too. And I'm . . . well, scared. I don't know what to do."

"There's nothing you can do, Seth." She continued to pick at her sandwich.

I thought for a minute. "We could watch all those _Halloween_ movies! Like we used to! That might take your mind off things!"

She smiled slightly at me, but shook her head.

"Okay. What about all those _National Lampoon's_ movies? You love those!"

She shook her head again.

"A little Nintendo? Old school!"

"Seth,"she started, clearly worn out from all my suggestions, "let's just sit here."

"Just sit?"

"Yes. Just sit."

"Oh. Okay. You wanna talk, right?"

She responded so quietly I could barely understand her, "No. I just wanna sit and try to finish my sandwich."

"You don't want to talk?" I couldn't believe it. How could someone just want to sit and do nothing?

"No."

"So,"I began, unsure, "we just sit and do nothing?"

She began to get irritated, "Yes!"

"Okie dokie! I can do that! I can be quiet. I will just zip my lips. You won't hear another word out of me! We'll just sit here and enjoy the silence. I mean, sometimes, silence can be good. I mean, like there was this one time . . . "

"Seth!"

"Sorry! Sorry! I won't . . . "She shot me a warning glare and I zipped my lips shut with my finger, locked them and threw away the key.

And we sat there. I didn't say anything. She didn't say anything. She ate her sandwich and the pickle, asked me not to leave and fell asleep on my shoulder. It was, I was certain, the first time she'd slept in days.

_Fifty One Years Ago . . . _

I sat on the pew and listened as Charlie talked about how great of a guy my father had been. I tried to be strong for both of the women in my life, my mother and my sister, who sat on each side of me. My right hand held my mother's hand and Leah's hand held my left. Small tears ran down my cheeks. Although grieving, my mother was surprisingly strong. Leah seemed cold about the whole thing, but I knew she must have been hurting. She hadn't cried a single tear since she heard the news and everyone was beginning to question her attitude. But, I was just waiting for the flood of tears I was sure was coming.

Charlie's words were simple, just like him, but somehow they were perfectly fitting. "He was a loving husband, a supportive father, a strong leader of his people and he was my friend. No one will replace him. You can't replace a man like that," he stopped for a moment and coughed back the sob caught in his throat. He was not the type to show his feelings, even less to cry in front of a crowd. "So, I . . . uh . . .I just want to say thank you one last time to Harry. So, my friend, thank you for all the baseball games we watched the Mariners lose, all the fishing trips where we never caught a damn thing, all those beers and all that catfish. Thank you for all of it." He stood there for a moment more and then walked away from the altar.

After the funeral, we went home and greeted all our visitors.

Sam and Emily were there. "I'm so so sorry," said Emily to Leah. Leah just nodded her head. The cold look on her face never disappeared.

Sam spoke next. "Leah . . . I . . . "

"Don't, Sam. I'm fine," she snapped at him.

This went on for a long time. Visitor after visitor walked by, hugged us and told us how sorry they were and how my Dad had been a wonderful man, etc, etc. After some time, I went to sit with Jake, Jared and Paul outside. When I walked up, Jake slapped me on the back.

"How you doin' kid?" he asked me. He looked awful. I heard it had something to do with Bella running off somewhere.

"I'm alright. I guess."

Paul asked in his asshole way, "Dude, what's up with your sister? She's being a total . . ." He stopped when he saw the warning glare I shot at him. He held up his hands and then tried to defend himself. "I'm just saying! She doesn't even seem to care!"

"Paul!" yelled Jared, punching him in the shoulder.

"What?! You know you're thinking the same damn thing!"

"Shut up, both of you!" shouted Jake.

They kept going back and forth, but I tried to ignore them. Instead, I turned my attention back to Leah who was sitting on the tire swing by herself. She didn't look sad. She didn't look angry. She didn't look . . . anything. She looked completely normal. Like nothing had happened. I started to feel a little upset with her. _Did she not care that our Dad had just died?_

Later that night, after everyone had left, I went to her bedroom door and knocked. I went in when she gave me the permission and found her sitting at her desk, reading some John Grisham book.

"What's up?" she asked.

I stared down at her for a moment. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before speaking. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I took out all my anger on her. And she let me. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not realize that our father just passed away? That we now have no dad? That our mother is a widow? That we have to pass every, single Father's Day listening to everyone talk about what they did or how much they love their dad; and we get to go to a grave? I mean . . . you've been walking around all day and night since he died, acting like nothing happened, but it did. It happened and you don't seem to care!"

She continued to look up at me for another couple of minutes. I waited for her to say something and when she didn't, I said, "You know what? Forget it! Be happy if that's what you need to do!"

I started to leave, but stopped when I heard her break into sobs. I turned and saw her sitting on the floor, her knees to her chest and her head buried in them. She rocked herself back and forth. For a second, I stood frozen, but then I quickly ran to her, dropped down beside her and placed my hand on her head. She looked up at me and said, "I'm so sorry, Seth. I tried! I swear I did! I tried to be strong for you! And for Mom! But, I can't! I can't!" She threw her arms around me and buried her head into my chest. She cried and cried, even harder than she did when Sam had broken up with her. I let her cry, just like I did then. Only this time, I cried along with her.

_Fifty Years Ago . . . _

I hadn't understood why Leah had cut all her hair off, or even worse, why she'd been acting like such a bitch. But, I understood well enough when I phased. I saw the whole thing: the vampires, the Jake and Bella situation, the imprinting . . . all of it. And there were some things even a guy didn't want to know, like how often my new "brothers" rubbed one out, or even worse, Leah naked. I didn't look at her while she was phasing or anything. That would just be weird. But, I did see in her and Sam's minds and their memories were not pretty. Even though we all tried hard not to think of certain things, things were always slipping through.

_Woooohoooo_, I thought. We were running at full speed. Leah of course was far ahead of me.

_Ha!_ She laughed. _I was always the fast one!_

It wasn't so bad to be in her head when it was just the two of us. When others came in, she got a little pissy and when Sam was there, well she was a total bitc-

_Hey!_ She screamed at me.

_Sorry! Sorry! _I thought, chastising myself. I needed to learn to control those particular thoughts. After all, it wasn't her fault so much. I understood her. She felt like a total freak who now had to follow the man she loved, but who was destined to be with her cousin due to some weird-wolfy-freaky-phenomenon thing. It was twisted and in my opinion, she had every right to be a little bitc-

_Damn it, Seth! Stop thinking about all that shit or so help me I'm gonna bite the shit out of you!_

_Sorry! Again!_ I shoved the cursory thoughts as far from my mind as I could and just ran side by side, basically, with my big sister. It was the most fun we'd had together since she'd started seeing Sam all those years ago.

_Race ya to Canada! _I thought.

_You're on! _She laughed in our minds. It was the first laugh I'd heard from her in a long time. I pushed myself forward with as much strength as I could, knowing full well that I was about to have my ass handed to me by a girl.

_The Present . . . _

I stared at the steering wheel and continued to reminisce about all the times that I had with my sister. I was fine until I began thinking about all the times I missed with her, all those phone calls I never answered, all those emails I deleted without ever opening, all those voicemail messages I never listened to, all those text messages I erased.

I had missed twenty-five years of her life. I never thought about going to see her, or ever being with her again. But I also never thought about the possibility of losing her. I thought she'd always be there.

But, now, she wasn't. She was gone. And I was there, more alone than I'd ever been in my life. I had no one left. No one.

I'd stolen things. I'd killed people. I'd tortured people.

However, letting my sister down was the worst thing I could have ever done. I'd never considered it before, never would have imagined that it would impact me so strongly, but it did. I'd never felt more selfish, more ashamed or more awful.

She'd begged me to go to her wedding, saying it would be "perfect" if I were there. She'd begged me to go to countless Thanksgivings and Christmases, offering to meet me anywhere I wanted, with or without the Cullens, even without JJ, if I wanted. She'd pleaded with me to go to Mom's funeral, telling me that she wasn't strong enough to handle it on her own. And I stayed wherever I had been in the moment. I'd hung up on her each time, uninterested and unwilling to do a damn thing for her, or anyone else for that matter.

Just then, the speedometer started beeping at me as a car sped past mine. At the same time, a snap decision was made in my mind, as if the beeping of the speedometer alerted me not only of the speeding car, but also of something more important, something I needed to do.

I hadn't gone to Mom's funeral, but I wasn't going to miss Leah's. I wouldn't let her down again. I turned on my siren, sped out onto the road and raced past the car that had pulled over for me. I stopped by the police station, told Sheriff Bill that my sister had passed and that I'd be taking another week or so off and started running. Running was quicker than driving, or even flying.

Jake didn't tell me where her funeral would be, but he didn't need to. I knew just where to run.

I ran to Washington. To the rez. To home.

***A/N: I was able to update much quicker than I'd ever thought I would be able to. I'm really excited to see this story advancing and I can't wait for the next few chapters, where things should get really exciting!**

**Thanks again to all of you who continue to read the story and a big thank-you to those of you who review and/or send private messages! I appreciate all reviews! **

**So, please review!**


	11. Chapter 11-Preparations

***A/N: I'm back! First off, allow me to tell all of you how sorry I am for not updating until now! I know it has been way too long! I know what it is like to wait for updates and start to get even a little frustrated for them! I'm sorry! I promise it won't always be like this. Life has been crazy the past couple of months. I went without a computer for like a month after my old one had quit on me. But, hey got a new one! Yay! Also, I have been traveling all over and visiting family and friends I never get to see, so I haven't made time to write. I'm still traveling, but I have to write or I may combust!**

**Secondly, thank you so much to those who've been reviewing! It is so wonderful for me to see that some people have interest in this story! I'm truly flattered.**

**And, now I'll shut up and let you read the good stuff! **

Chapter 11 – Preparations

Elizabeth's POV – Present Day

"And we'll put their photos up on the altar," Aunt Alice said quietly. She was organizing the funeral. She hadn't gotten over blaming herself for their deaths. I think she was just trying to stay busy. She closed her eyes and sighed softly. Poppy approached her from behind and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Alice," he began in a hushed tone, "stop it. We've been through this a hundred times. It's not your fault that you didn't see it. Perhaps, some things aren't meant to be seen."

Aunt Alice smiled slightly, clearly unconvinced. In any case, she went back to work, carefully, meticulously planning every detail of my big brother's funeral. Everyone, including my currently weak mother pitched in, all wanting to be a part of this moment. So, the entire family shuffled about in the small church on the rez, following Alice's orders without complaint or question. Other than Alice's quite commands, and the occasional whispered "okay," no sounds could be heard.

The past two days had been pure hell for my family. We'd all been guilty of being overly confident. Overly confident of our "immortality", of always believing that we would have each other. If not for forever, at least for a very long time. My brother's death should have been a wake-up call for all of us. The problem was, for whatever reason, we couldn't wake up from the nightmare we were living in. Although we were pushing forward, the pain in our hearts was nearly unbearable.

Suddenly, a car turned on the old, gravel road and started towards the church. Of course, I'd heard it a couple of seconds after everyone else had. At first, we were nervous. The funeral was being kept quiet. Not many people knew we were there, only a select few. After all, there were still a lot of people alive that would probably die of a heart attack if they saw most of my family.

We turned to Poppy to see if he knew who it was coming down the road. His eyes got distant as he focused on the minds of whoever was in the car. His face softened. "It's okay." He didn't elaborate any further.

We watched the door in anticipation, as we listened to the engine being turned off, the car doors being opened and the footsteps on the gravel. The doors to the church screeched open. Out of the pouring rain and into the church, came two older people that I quickly identified. I hadn't seen them often in my life, twice if I remembered correctly, but I knew well enough who they were.

My father was first to approach the older gentleman. "Sam," he said, sounding almost relieved, "it's good to see you." They embraced in a hug that lasted much longer than most do between two men.

"It's good to see you too, Jacob," replied Sam, speaking in that strong, authoritative voice of his. Always and forever an Alpha. He looked well for his age-the same old Sam, no pun intended, just with more wrinkles and white hair.

Emily quickly, well as quickly as a 75-year old woman could, went to Mama. Tears ran slowly down her beautifully scarred face. She put her arms gently around Mama and Mama returned the hug even gentler. "I'm so sorry, Nessie. I don't know what else that one mother could say to another to express her condolence. All I know to say is I'm truly sorry." Mama's head nodded in response as her tears began once again.

"I'm sorry, too," said Mama. Emily had lost her cousin in this tragedy and no one had overlooked that fact. Every one of us had felt a loss.

Sam and Emily greeted the family one by one. Samantha and Masen had already been to visit them at their house, but in any case, Samantha was obviously relieved to see them again. Everyone showed warmth and compassion for each other. Any hard feelings that had once existed between the people standing in the room, were now long gone.

When Emily reached me, her face lit up a small amount, although the sadness was still present in her eyes. "Look at you! My how time passes! The last time we saw you, you were still a little girl!" She hugged me tighter than I thought any woman her age could have. I returned the hug as gently as I could, not wanting to break her. Living in my family that was never a problem, so needless to say, I felt a little unsure of myself. She let go of me and turned to face Sam, who stood a foot away talking to Grandpa. "Sam! Look at Elizabeth! She's a beautiful woman now. Can you believe it?"

Sam turned his attention from Grandpa to face me. He smiled kindly. "I can see that, Emily." His eyes softened a bit as he asked me, "How are you doing, darling?"

"I'm fine," I lied. I didn't think it would help anyone if I'd told the truth and said that I'd never felt worse in my life. Then again, I doubt that anyone believed my lie.

"Well," began Sam, "we thought we would come up here and offer to help all of you with whatever you may need help with." I tried not to laugh at that. Two elderly people offering to help an entire clan of ridiculously strong people. Priceless.

Nana replied sweetly, "Just your company is help enough. Sit down here and we'll talk a bit." They sat and chatted with Nana and Grandpa, catching up on years passed apart, and remembering moments passed together.

After a while, after Aunt Alice had decided that everything was perfectly placed for the funeral, we said our good-byes to Sam and Emily. Sam stood face to face with Daddy: two men, two Alphas. Born in the same generation, but likely to die generations a part. Sam's arm was placed securely around Emily's waist. After all these years, he was continuing to protect his imprint. If I weren't so extremely sad, the picture in front of me would have made me smile.

Sam's head dropped for a moment. He looked doubtful.

"Something on your mind, Sam?" asked Daddy.

Sam's hand wiped slowly across his face. "Yes, Jacob. I was just wondering if anyone has contacted Seth."

"Yes. I did, but I don't think he'll come. If you remember he didn't come to his mother's funeral all those years ago."

Sam nodded. "I remember. I'm not sure that we would want him here, Jacob. On the rez. Then again, I'm not sure we wouldn't want him here." He shook his head in exasperation. "It's a difficult situation. I guess we'll deal with whatever comes."

Everyone was quiet for a second.

"So, I guess we will see you tomorrow, Jacob," Sam said, putting an end to the silence.

Daddy's head nodded in confirmation. "Thank you, Sam, for coming and for agreeing to do the ceremony tomorrow. Leah and . . ." his voice cracked, and his head bowed as he composed himself. He lifted his head strongly, "Leah and my son were two of the greatest Quileutes that this tribe has ever known. They deserve a proper good-bye. I know you'll give that to them tomorrow."

Sam's hand reached out and rested on Daddy's shoulder. "I will, Jacob. I will." With that simple, yet profound promise, they left. We waved as their car disappeared down the gravel road.

"I didn't think to ask how Emerson was doing," said Nana. "That was awfully rude of me." Emerson was Samantha's younger brother. I didn't remember much about him. I remembered that in his wolf form, he was all black, just as his father had been. I'd had a small crush on him as a little girl. I remembered that he was sweet to me and very cute, but I also remembered that he hadn't imprinted on me. I had fussed about that for a month, before I finally got over it.

Samantha spoke lowly. "He's fine. Still living in Chicago, but he'll be here tomorrow. He's arriving tonight." From what I knew, Emerson was still phasing, still young.

Nana didn't look pacified. Her need to be polite and full of manners sometimes made her overly critical of herself and her own actions. Grandpa put his hand on Nana's arm and rubbed it soothingly, "I'm sure they didn't even notice, Esme. They know we have other things preoccupying us at the moment."

That night, we returned to the house, the same house that my family had owned for over a century. I'd always liked this home. After all, this was where my grandparents had gotten married, where my mother had been born and where my father had imprinted on my mother. The house was very special to all of us, holding many precious moments in our family history.

The vampires went hunting, preparing themselves for the few humans they'd be around at the funeral. They always felt more controlled when they'd hunted. As strange as it was for me to think of my family as natural killers, no one could deny that that was exactly what they were-natural killers, defying their nature. Everyone else was asleep in the house, thanks to Grandpa's prescription night meds. Mama had needed them first to rest. Then, the others went for the drugs as well to help them sleep. Everyone was a little hopped up. Everyone except me.

I didn't sleep that night, but I also didn't toss and turn. I just laid there and stared, through my fuzzy vision, up at the ceiling of my Poppy's bedroom. So many moments that I'd had with JJ and Leah passed through my mind, playing like a DVD, like they had since the moment we'd received the news of their deaths. Over and over again. Good moments. Bad moments. Moments just with JJ. Moments just with Leah. Moments with both of them. My mind paused on the two of them, sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear, both caressing Leah's swollen belly. I saw JJ watching Leah with awe. He'd always looked at her that way. That was the way an imprinter looked at his imprinted.

_At least they went together_, I reminded myself. That's how they would've wanted to go. In that instant, I found some peace. Most couples don't get that sort of luck. One is left behind, suffering daily, waiting for the day that they'll be rejoined with their soul mate in the afterlife. But, not my brother. God took them together. They didn't have to hurt. I smiled as I continued to think of the beauty of it. I hated that I'd lost my sister-in-law and my brother and their baby. But, at the same time, if it had to happen, it couldn't have happened in a better way.

Then, my mind selfishly wandered to myself. _Would I die alone? _It was a scary thought-dying without ever knowing the what that kind of love felt like. Then, literally popping out of nowhere, Seth's face came into my mind.

"Ugh! Get out! Get out! Get out!" I quietly yelled to my head, banging gently on the side of it. Infuriated, I pulled the pillow over my face.

But, unfortunately, he didn't get out. He stayed there in my head, no matter how unwelcomed he was. My mother's words ran through my head. "Isn't it obvious honey? It wasn't me loving Seth. It was always you."

I jerked up out of bed and gasped. It was all clear to me then. The realization hit me. I felt so stupid for not having noticed it before. This was more than love. This was an imprint. _I'm going to be Seth's imprint! _

If I ever saw him. I couldn't be sure he'd go to the funeral. For all I knew, he could care less about Leah or JJ. I jumped out of bed and began pacing the floor. Back and forth. Back and forth. I knew that only the most narcissistic sister in the world would be thinking of herself after her brother just died, but I couldn't stop the thoughts racing in my mind.

_What will he do?_

_What will I do?_

_What should I say?_

_Do I say "thank you" after he imprints? _

_Maybe I should say "you are welcome."_

_Nope. That sounds egotistical._

_Maybe "I love you."_

_But, do you love someone just because he imprints on you? _

_Maybe I should ask Mama._

_No. She wouldn't know. She was just a baby when it happened for her._

_What should I wear?_

_Not that that would make a difference, but still._

_Maybe that black strapless dress._

_Is he really evil? _

_Can I live with an evil imprint?_

_Maybe he's just in a really bad mood all the time._

_Or, maybe, an imprint could turn him back into a sweet guy._

_Oh God! What will the family say?_

_Daddy will freak! _

_Poppy will probably kill him!_

_Oh God! What if Daddy and Poppy piss Seth off and he kills them?!_

_This is sooooo not going to be good!_

_Oh! But, I'm going to have my soul mate! _

_Finally! _

_But, what if he doesn't show up? _

_Oh gosh! And, what if he's still out there slaughtering people on a daily basis?_

_AH! Elizabeth! You are such a bitch! Stop worrying about all of this! _

_This is not a time that is supposed to be about you! Think about your brother!_

Out of breath from wobbling from one side of the room to the other, I plopped down on the bed and huffed out a large breath of air. I turned my head and looked at myself in the mirror.

_Tomorrow could very well be the worst and/or best day of your life. _

Seth's POV – Present Day

I stood at the border of Oregon and Washington. It was around three in the morning. For most eyes, it would have been pitch dark, but I saw as clearly as I did during the day. I waited outside a nice log cabin and watched the young couple inside of it sleep. I'd left a long trail of bloody bodies from Kentucky to Washington and although I knew I should have felt some guilt, I didn't. I only felt the need for more. The monster inside of me was filled with nothing but pain and trying hopelessly to transfer some of his pain to others. Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

That didn't stop him however from ripping the couple into pieces and enjoying every second of it. After I was finished with them, I surveyed the damage I'd done to the house and to their bodies. _My God_, I thought. Then I realized that if there were a God, he'd probably quit listening to me long ago.

The scene in front of me looked like a scene directly out of "Nightmare on Elm Street." I laughed a humorless laugh and then screamed as loudly as I possibly could, "I'm fucking Freddy Krueger!" _The man that creeps in your nightmares and feeds on your fear. _I continued to laugh, until my eyes caught the reflection of myself in a long mirror. I looked myself up and down. "Freddy Krueger," I said to myself, "just better looking."

Some part of my mind registered the fact that I was quickly losing what little remained of myself. I felt every piece of it being yanked away from my heart and mind, slipping further and further into the depths of insanity and hell. And here I'd thought I'd already been to the bottomless pit of hell. I'd been wrong. Evidently, losing my sister and had been the last. I could support no more.

So, on my run from Kentucky to Washington I'd made up my mind. No going back to Kentucky. What was the point in being a police officer anyway? To protect and defend? Who the fuck was I kidding? I protected no one. I was the bad guy and to continue playing the role of good guy was just a hypocritical joke. No more trying to fight what I am. I'd go to my sister's funeral and I'd pay "my respects" to the family. Then, I'd set him free. The monster. I was done fighting my nature. I had not one ounce of strength left in me to fight it. To fight we need courage, inspiration and faith. I no longer possessed anything close to those qualities. I was finished.

I took a shower in the blood stained home and ran naked through the streets until I found a clothing store. Being that it was still in the middle of the night, no one was there. Surprisingly, I found clothes I could fit my massive body into and more clothes to take with me, something to last me while staying on the rez. I found a comb in the store and decided I probably was in desperate need of hair brushing. When I decided I looked appropriate enough for my sister's funeral, I headed for Seattle, where I planned to rent a car.

It didn't take a long time for me to arrive there. Budget was closed, so I sat on a bench outside of the store and waited for them to open. As I sat, I thought about how all this was going to go over.

_Will I be welcomed on the rez? Probably not. _

_Would they try to kill me? Wouldn't do them much good. Hell, maybe they'd succeed and I'd finally be able to get the fuck out of this world._

_No. Jake had called me. He'd probably be expecting me. _

_Or maybe not. After all, I didn't go to my own mother's funeral. Why would they think I'd go to Leah's?_

_Anyway, who gives a fuck? Not like I'm going for some big, emotional family reunion. _

_But, what about Nessie? Would she want to see me? Is she mad at me for what happened all those years ago? _

My mind wouldn't stop reeling. It's not like I really cared about the answers to any of my questions. I didn't. I didn't give a damn about what any of them thought, felt, wanted or needed.

Except for maybe Nessie. I'd never understood her connection to me. Never understood why, out of everyone in my life, she was the one I couldn't let go. The one I couldn't hate. Could our connection really have been that strong? It's not like I imprinted on her! I shook my head at my stupidity. There I was-a monster who loved killing and screwing over women, who cared for no one-overcome by this half-vampire creature that I knew I could never have.

My thoughts stopped, when I saw a vehicle approaching the Budget store. A man, with a name tag labeled, "John, Store Manager" got out. He looked down at his watch and back at me like I was crazy. As he walked towards me he said, "We don't open for another half hour, at 6 am."

I stood up, towering over him. He took a step back at the sight of me. Clearly, he felt a little anxiety at being near me. As well he should. "I know," I told him. "Just waiting for you to open. I have to drive to the Quileute reservation for my sister's funeral today." At those words, his eyes softened.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, sounding genuinely sorry. I shrugged, as if to say "What can you do?"

He looked down at the ground, running a hand through his hair. "I suppose I could make an exception. Why don't you come on in and I'll get you set up?" I nodded once in agreement, grateful that I didn't have to wait any longer.

After what seemed like a very long time, he gave me the keys to a black Mustang and I took off, heading towards a place I once called home. The rain pounded on the highway, the sky dark even with the sun rising-a typical Washington morning.

While driving, I continued to question my odd relationship with Nessie, as I had over the last several decades. Clearly, she was Jake's. But, I would be a fool to deny my own passionate feelings for the girl. I groaned loudly in frustration, trying desperately to comprehend the awkward situation I'd found myself in so many years ago.

_Just like Jake with Bella_, I thought. _Hopelessly in love with the wrong fucking person._

Only, Bella hadn't been the wrong person. She'd returned Jake's love for her in the form of her daughter. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place in my mind and I found myself feeling hopeful. Could it be? Could it be that my feelings for Nessie were no different than Jake's for Bella? And if so, did that mean that I was meant for Jake's daughter?

The good Seth felt a bit giddy, but the bad Seth, the overwhelming part of me, felt vengeful. If this were true, if I were meant to imprint on Nessie's daughter, then so be it. I'd take her away from them, just like they took everything away from me.

_But, would I be able to? If I imprinted on her, would I be able to hurt her? To hurt . . . what was her name? _

_Maybe, just maybe, she would take it all away: the pain, the suffering, the loneliness, the thirst, the hatred…. All of it._

Just as positive thoughts began to roll through my mind, they were replaced with the more believable negative ones.

_This is fucking ridiculous! Why the fuck would the universe care about me now? _

_No. it is impossible for me now. The old Seth may have had a chance at happiness, but the old Seth is forever lost. _

I banged on the side of my head violently. It probably should have hurt, but as always, I felt nothing. I'd had enough of wondering about what would happen when I saw them all again. And, I felt foolish for allowing myself the small moment filled with even a shred of hope. There was no hope for me and in that moment, I let go of all childish fantasies and resolved to have no more optimism about Renesmee or her daughter.

I stopped at a stoplight in Forks and looked at myself in the rear view mirror. "You are a damn rollercoaster. Get your shit together!" I growled at myself. It wasn't until that moment that I looked around at the old town.

_Ha! Not much changes. _

And it hadn't. It looked about the same as it had fifty years ago. I hadn't been expecting a big change, but still I was shocked to find so little had been left unaltered.

I continued through the small town of Forks and down the small roads to the rez. As I passed places that once held great emotional significance to me, I scowled, realizing that all of it had been bull shit. As much as the people of the tribe, especially the pack, liked to preach about loyalty and tradition and family…they had no problem abandoning those that needed them most. All I felt was anger as I passed by what used to be Embry Call's home, Jake's old house and my old home. I was left feeling utterly disgusted and ready to leave as quickly as I could.

My only comforts were the words that I continuously chanted in my head: _Just the funeral. Then you can get the fuck outta here. Just the funeral. Then you can get the fuck outta here. _

_Then you can get the fuck outta here. _

***A/N: So, just a little build up to the chapter that I would imagine most have been waiting for. Hope you liked it.**

**Again, I am sorry that it took me so long and thank you sooo much for sticking with me! **

**Also, I may write the next chapter in third person point of view, just to switch things up a little. I'm curious to see how it would turn out. Please remember that this is my first story and it is like a big trial and error kind of thing. **

**Anyway, thank you for your patience and I look forward to writing the next chapter for us!**

**Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12-The Funeral

***A/N: Yay! I can write more! This is so much fun! So, as I stated in the chapter before this, I will try my best to post more frequently, but when school starts back up it may be a little difficult for me. But, I can definitely promise that no matter what I WILL NOT leave this story unfinished. I absolutely hate to get into a story and find that an author decides to stop writing it. I know how much that sucks! So, that is my promise to you and me. This story will have an ending! **

**Again, a big, big thank-you to those who review! I find it so amazing that you would take some time out of your day to let me know how I'm doing with this story! **

**Oh! And as warned I'm going to try to write a chapter in third person point of view, just to see how everyone likes it. Or doesn't like it! Let me know what you think and I am sorry for jumping around everywhere! Trial and error-you gotta love it!**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 12 – The Funeral

Third Person POV

Rose and Alice sat in Edward's bedroom watching, with perplexed and somewhat fearful faces, as Elizabeth went through the massive pile of clothing on the bed. Usually this would have been just the kind of thing that had Alice in an excited frenzy. But, not today. Seeing her niece like that only disturbed her. Lizzie had been through all her clothes, her aunt's clothes, her mother's clothes, her grandmother's clothes and her great-grandmother's clothes. Elizabeth claimed that she was looking for the perfect outfit-that it was crucial that she find the clothing that would drape her during what could be the most wonderful moment of her life. Needless to say, her aunts thought she'd completely lost her mind.

Elizabeth hadn't told anyone about her little suspicion-that she would indeed be the object of someone's imprinting if only he were to show up. No. She had kept the information to herself, not wanting to look like an utter fool if she were to be wrong. _How humiliating that would be_, she'd thought.

Furthermore, she was careful not to think about Seth while around her Poppy. That was the last thing she needed-another speech about the dangers of loving a killer. So, the entire family thought she'd simply slipped into a whirlwind of anxiety, assuming that her brother's death was more than she could handle. There had already been talk of Carlisle prescribing her some anti-anxiety meds.

And, although she had never felt more selfish or narcissistic in her life, being that she was thinking more of herself on the day of her brother's funeral than of her actual brother, she was determined to find that "perfect outfit." _Just in case he shows up_, she'd thought. _Just in case_.

Esme and Bella entered the room, looking even more confused and exasperated than Rose and Alice. Esme spoke, "here, honey. What about this black off-the shoulder dress? I found it tucked away in some boxes upstairs. It will need a quick washing, but it is quite stunning."

"This is weird!" Alice stated, her hands on her hips. "Since when do you care so much about what you wear? I mean you've never been Bella-stubborn about it, but still. What is going on with . . . ?" She gave a little shriek.

Rose had cut her off by snapping a finger and giving her a look that said, "Shut up! Let her mourn the way she needs to!"

Alice replaced her finger into its socket and looked back at Lizzie, who was currently walking towards Esme and carefully observing the dress.

"I do love that dress," said Rose softly. "So feminine. So simple, yet elegant. It would look lovely on you, Lizzie."

Lizzie stopped in front of Esme and took the dress in her hands. "It really is lovely," she said quietly to herself, not that everyone else couldn't hear.

Grateful to possibly be done with the whole nightmare, Bella spoke next in the most encouraging voice she could muster when it came to clothing, "Yes! It is. And it would highlight your neck so beautifully!" Alice looked at Bella and arched an eyebrow.

"And since when do you . . . ?" Alice began, but cut herself off again with another shriek caused by another finger-snap from Rose. "Would you please stop doing that?!"

"Enough from the both of you!" cried Esme. "My goodness! You'd think that after all these years, you girls would be a little more mature!"

Alice and Rose both bowed their heads in defeat. They both may have been well over a century old, but a mother could always scold a child, no matter how old they were.

Lizzie stood in front of the floor-length and mirror, holding the dress in front of herself. "Yes. I think this may be the one." The women in the room sighed and their shoulders shrank with relief.

Bella exited the room, murmuring lowly, "It's been a long time since I've felt this exhausted."

Esme took the dress to wash and dry it as quickly as possible. After all, the funeral was mere hours away.

Meanwhile, Nessie sat on the couch downstairs, staring off into space. Jake had never seen her so distraught. Nessie had of course dealt with death in the past-the death of her grandfather, Charlie, the death of Sue, Billy. But, obviously, this was different. Even in the human world a parent is meant to die before their child. And at that moment, Nessie wished more than anything that she had been taken instead. That would've been okay with her. Losing her son, however, was not. She felt a little loopy-a side effect from the anxiety medications Carlisle had been pumping into her. She'd needed them badly and was grateful for the small release from pure hell that it gave her.

Jake sat in a chair directly across from his imprint. He tried not to suffocate her, tried to let her have some space, but he so worried that she was moments away from having a complete nervous breakdown. He wasn't sure he could handle anymore. First, his son dies. And, Leah, who he considered not so much as his daughter-in-law, but more as his friend. She held such a special place in his heart. Then his daughter apparently loses her mind from the death of her brother. He could hear her upstairs finally deciding on a dress for the funeral. To think of his wife, his imprint, his Nessie, losing her mind too was just more than he could bear. Hell, he was barely holding it together himself. But, he knew that what Nessie needed was a rock, and son or no son, he would be a rock for his imprint.

The problem with a being a rock for someone comes when that person is unwilling to lean on you. And that was how Nessie had been since the news of JJ's death. She'd wanted everyone to just "leave her the hell alone." And that included Jake. Nessie had always been the stubborn-type, a quality that she'd taken from both of her parents, but this was killing Jake. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, but he knew she wouldn't have that. She didn't want him in that moment. She only wanted JJ. Jake fought to understand his wife, but came up empty-handed. Carlisle claimed that Nessie's behavior was completely normal and expected from someone suffering from grief and depression and that sooner or later, she'd come around.

_Sure as hell hope you are right, doc_, he thought.

While Esme was washing Lizzie's dress and while Jake was watching Nessie stare off into space, Seth was standing outside of the church where he knew that Leah's funeral would take place. He looked the building, the building he knew well, up and down. It had clearly been restored a bit, but otherwise it looked about the same as he'd remembered from his childhood. He waited for some feeling of warmth to spread through him, the kind of warmth one should feel when remembering the good old days, but it never came. "Not surprised," he said to himself. He sat down on the steps outside of the church and waited for the people to show up to his sister's funeral. He felt a little tense at the situation, but in general, he found himself to be the same as he usually was-angry, bitter and worst of all, alone.

He wasn't sure at exactly what time the funeral would begin and at that moment would've liked to have had a phone to call Jake. He regretted crushing his phone. He knew he could have stolen one somewhere on his trip, but the thought hadn't occurred to him until that moment. So used to having no one to call, he never really needed a phone. Had kept it more for work than anything. And now that he knew he no longer would be working, his need for a cell phone had fallen to none.

He waited for what he assumed was about half an hour. Then he thought that perhaps it would be better to slip in the church after everyone else had already gone in. Perhaps, he decided, that would be the easiest way to avoid having to engage in conversation with everyone; so, he left the front steps of the church and ran a few miles off and climbed high into a tree, giving him a direct view of the church entrance. There he waited and watched, questioning his sanity for even showing up today.

And while he was waiting in the tree, Lizzie was dressing herself in the freshly-cleaned off-the-shoulder, black dress. She surveyed herself in the mirror, after Rose and Alice had their way with her. Her hair was fixed into a perfect French twist. Her makeup subtle, but beautiful-slight smoky eyes, making the emerald in her eyes pop (despite her black glasses shadowing them a bit), soft baby pink lip gloss and a tiny bit of blush, just enough to contour her cheek bones in the most feminine way. She wore the diamond stud earrings her Poppy had given her for her birthday and simple, black heels to accent her knee-length dress.

Nessie entered the bedroom and watched her daughter as she looked at herself in the mirror. "You look beautiful baby," Nessie said, her voice still portraying all the sadness that she was feeling, but also showing pride at the image of her baby girl.

Lizzie caught her mother's gaze in the mirror. Nessie, as always, looked stunning. To the outside world, she'd be a supermodel without any problems. But, Lizzie could see the intense pain in her mother's eyes. "Thank you, Mama."

"Are you ready?" Nessie asked, smiling softly at Lizzie.

"Yes, Mama. I'm ready," she answered. Lizzie knew that her mother was asking if she were ready to attend JJ's funeral. She was as ready for that as she could have ever been. But, in Lizzie's mind, she was also trying to convince herself that she was ready for the other thing-the possible moment of seeing Seth for the first time and becoming an imprint, and of course, whatever havoc that might create in the family.

She turned her back on herself in the mirror to face her mother. Lizzie hugged Nessie, doing her best to be the comforter in that moment, instead of being the comforted. She had thought of many things that she could say to Nessie, but none of them seemed appropriate, so she just tried to put all her thoughts into that hug. Then, a thought hit her. She slowly let go of Nessie and lifted her hand to her mother's face. Nessie smiled a tiny bit, as sad tears ran slowly down her cheeks, and leaned into her daughter's outreached hand.

Using Nessie's gift, Lizzie showed her precious moments from her childhood, moments with JJ. She watched as her mother's eyes glazed over a bit, watching the moments play out in her mind. The smile, that had begun so tiny, soon spread wide across Nessie's face and the tears, that had once fell from pure grief, fell from pure happiness. After a few minutes, the images stopped, Lizzies hand was removed from Nessie's face and Nessie was left feeling consoled for the first time in days.

She smiled down at her daughter and put her hand to Lizzie's face. _Thank you, my Love, _were the words that came to Lizzie's mind.

"You're welcome, Mama. I love you."

"I love you, baby girl," Nessie answered, smiling her first real smile in days.

From downstairs, Edward called softly, "Nessie? Lizzie? Ladies we have to go. Everybody else has already gotten into a car."

Nessie and Lizzie walked hand in hand down the staircase to Edward. He grinned at the sight of them. After all those years, he still couldn't believe that he had them in his life. After he'd been changed, he'd lost all faith that any sort of God existed, but with the birth of Nessie, and later his grandchildren, he'd never been more certain that there was a God. "Ready, ladies?"

The two nodded their heads and each took one of his arms as they walked out into their garage.

The funeral home was filled to the maximum. Everyone was there. Lizzie looked around the room at the Quileute families that had attended.

Her Uncle Paul and Aunt Rachel stood only a few feet away, chatting with Sam and Emily. Samantha and Masen were talking with Jared and Kim's son and his wife. Jared and Kim, of course, were not there. She'd passed away years before from cancer and he'd gone only a week after she had. Died of a broken heart. But, their son and daughter-in-law had given them three beautiful grandchildren that were now teenagers and sitting in a pew near the back.

"Lizzie!" Lizzie snapped her head at the voice of Claire, who at the age of fifty-two still looked amazing. Quil, of course, walked up to Lizzie with Claire. "Oh, honey!" Claire began in that tone that Lizzie had already become accustomed to, no matter how irritating it was. It was that tone that people always use in a funeral home-that I'm so so so so so sorry tone. "Honey, we are so sorry."

Lizzie let Claire hug her and then Quil. "I'm sorry, too," Lizzie said. They'd lost family, too. Everyone in that church felt the loss of JJ and Leah. They'd touched everyone's lives.

"Where are . . .?" Lizzie was about to ask where her cousins were, Quil and Claire's children, but she didn't have to. The two big boys came up behind her and hugged her tightly. Lizzie let a small huff of air as they did so.

"Chris! Max! You are going to kill me!" She squeaked out. The boys let her go and she turned to face them. They were the typical-Quileute-boys-turned-wolves type guys.

"Sorry, Lizzie. We didn't mean to hurt you," said Chris, the older of the two.

"It's okay. No biggie," Lizzie told them.

Soon, Lizzie was distracted once again by all the others that filed in. Paul and Rachel's children came in, toting children of their own. Then followed more wolves, their imprints, their children, their children's imprints, their children's children . . . it seemed to never stop. Lizzie couldn't help but smile at the number of people who had showed up. The tribal council was there, too. Everyone had come to pay respects to what could have been the rightful chief's death.

Everyone, but one. Seth still hadn't shown and Lizzie began to doubt that he would. She sighed in defeat as Sam took his place on the altar, right beside the photos of JJ and Leah and asked for everyone to have a seat. They did as they were told, Lizzie joining her family on the front pew.

Sam spoke majestically, describing JJ and Leah as the two important figures in the Quileute tribe that they were. "Now legends, they will live on forever through our stories. Their bodies have died, but their spirits will forever live on." He continued, saying all the perfect things that one would during a funeral.

Seth had been listening from outside and finally, after Sam had spoken for about ten minutes, he entered the church, head bowed and quietly took a seat in the back on the only empty pew in the place. He noted that eventually all heads had turned, many people were gasping and whispering and Sam had stopped speaking completely.

"Is that Seth Clearwater?"

"THE Seth Clearwater?"

"Oh my God! It's him!"

"I swear I didn't see him coming! I can't see him though, you know that!"

"No, I can't hear what he's thinking. Same as last time."

"Do you think the rumors are true?"

"Cool! Maybe he'll show us his fangs!"

"Paul?"

"It's ok, Rach."

"Seth!" That last voice was unmistakable-Nessie. But, he really didn't care anymore. He just wanted to get on with the funeral and leave.

Seth took a deep breath and raised his head to meet Sam's stern gaze. Clearly, Sam was questioning Seth's ability to be there, to control himself, so Seth gave him a sharp nod as if to acknowledge that he was under control.

Sam held his stare for a moment and then continued on, talking about the power of an imprint and the joy that JJ and Leah must have shared to have each other.

Everyone in the place was a bit nervous at the sight of the infamous Seth Clearwater. Some knew of him from back in the good-old Seth days, others had only heard of him and the twist of fate that had turned him into a monster. For many, he was simply another legend: a warning of what would happen if a wolf were bitten by a vampire. _This is what could happen to you!_

The Cullens felt stiffer than usual for only a moment, but were shockingly able to redirect their attention to Sam and his words. Eventually, everyone was able to ignore the threat that sat at the back of the church. Everyone except Lizzie.

Lizzie's heart pounded in her chest. Her palms were sweaty and her breathing was more difficult than she could ever remember. She hadn't got a good look at him. She'd simply caught a glimpse out of the side of her glasses, but there was no mistaking that it was him. It was Seth. Everyone's reactions had been proof enough of that.

"And now," Sam announced. "JJ's sister, Elizabeth, would like to sing a song dedicated to her fallen brother and sister-in-law." Elizabeth had not told anyone but Sam that she'd wished to sing a song, wanting to surprise her entire family. She'd chosen the song carefully.

Those words brought Lizzie back to reality and for a moment, she was certain that she'd vomit. Now that she knew what that was like, she never wanted to experience it again. She questioned her ability to go through with it; however, with one glance at her brother's photo on the altar, she found a new strength. So, she put aside all her ridiculous fears and self-absorbed, or Seth-absorbed, thoughts and stepped in front of the entire congregation. She kept her head down, eyes locked on the floor as the music began.

Seth couldn't believe it. His eyes felt like they could have possibly popped from their sockets and he had to actually tell himself to close his wide-open mouth. _It's her_, he realized. _She's the girl from my dreams. What did Sam say her name is? Elizabeth? _He marveled at her beauty. She was perfect physically. And, in that moment, he was certain that she'd be his imprint. She'd take all of the bad away. He smiled widely, a true smile. _She'll take it all away. The universe does care about me._

_But, I can't do this to her. Whoever she is, she deserves better than me. I have to leave as soon as this is over! You can't imprint on her and become her problem. Don't do that to her!_

She kept her head down, knowing full-well that if she looked up, she'd look at Seth and would most definitely become speechless. So, she resolved to think only about the song for her brother. She began to sing-an older song, by a country singer from back in the day, Carrie Underwood.

_Said goodbye, turned around and you were gone, gone, gone_

_Faded into the setting sun, slipped away_

_But I won't cry, cause I know I'll never be lonely_

_For you are the stars to me, You are the light I follow_

_I will see you again, Woah_

_This is not where it ends_

_I will carry, you with me, woah _

_Till I see you again_

Seth watched as she sang. He'd never heard such a magnificent voice. He sat in awe while she sang a good-bye-but-only-for-now song to her brother and to his sister.

Lizzie's choice of song lifted the entire place. By the end, everyone was on their feet, applauding the beauty, not only of her singing, but of the moment. She'd found a way to bring joy to a horrible moment in time. When she'd finished, she returned quickly to her seat, not risking a glance to any part of the church, especially to the back.

Afterward, several stood to speak about JJ and Leah, about friendship, love, commitment to the tribe, etc, etc. Some people told heart-felt stories. Others told stories that made everyone laugh and smile. The funeral could not have gone better.

Sam took his place at the altar again, "Is there anyone who has something more to say about JJ or Leah?" He locked eyes with Seth, but found that Seth had no intention of standing in front of everyone and professing his love or sadness or whatever. So, Sam elegantly wrapped up the funeral and everyone stood to pay their final respects to the family.

No one however dared pay their respects to Seth. He stood quickly and exited the church. As he walked toward the car, ready to get away from all the people, he was stopped by Nessie. He was stunned by her. She looked as beautiful as ever, standing in front of the black vehicle. And, yet, she'd lost something-the essence that had attracted him to her so many years ago was long gone. She was still gorgeous of course, but that feeling was no longer there.

It didn't escape his attention that everyone was standing outside at the moment. Some were clearly prepared to attack if necessary. Jake was nearly convulsing already.

"Relax, Jake," Seth ordered. "I won't hurt her again." He sounded a lot surer of himself than he felt.

Nessie looked over at everyone as if to say: "Give us a little privacy." And they did, each turning to have his or her own private conversation.

"Where are you going, Seth?" she asked him calmly.

He didn't answer her.

"Seth. I asked you a question. Where are you going?" She asked again, becoming a bit frustrated.

He stared at her for a long moment and just as she opened her mouth to speak again, he replied, "It doesn't matter, Renesmee. Leave me alone."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Because I want to be left alone," he explained.

"No one wants to be alone in this world, Seth. I know that you've had a rough time, but if you could just come home with us, maybe you could find . . . "

Seth cut her off. "Renesmee! I said leave me alone!"

"Seth! Just stay! Just, please? Give me thirty minutes! Stay with us for thirty minutes and then if you want, you can leave. Okay? Please, Seth?"

He growled in defeat. Renesmee smiled slowly and went to hug him, which he quickly stepped back from, giving her a small shake of the head. "Don't," he ordered. "Just don't."

She felt a small pang of hurt, but tried to remember that this may be her only chance of saving him. So, she walked with him to face the entire crowd of judges that stood before them. One by one they approached him cautiously. The adults were doubtful and the kids were excited. Seth said very little to each of them, not really wanting to catch-up with old "friends" or make new ones. He was finished with the tribe, and all of this he was doing only as a way to apologize for nearly killing Nessie all those years ago.

Nessie led Seth over to where Jake, Edward, Emmett and Jasper stood. They said their hellos and how-have-you-beens. It was clear that no one really wanted to partake in the activity, but Nessie that is.

"I want you to meet my daughter, Seth," said Nessie. "Elizabeth?"

Lizzie couldn't believe that he was standing in front of her. He was a monster of a man indeed. He towered over everyone there. But, oh was he perfect. He stood there, marvelously clad in a fitted black suit, with a black shirt to match. His long, black hair was combed neatly backward, stopping at the point where his neck and head met. His slightly-shadowed beard gave him a look that said "Yes, I am as dangerous as I look." And his eyes, pitch black. There was nothing there, but blackness. She felt herself shiver from both fear and desire.

He could already smell her. She stood in the center of a cage-like formation behind Jake, Edward, Jasper and Emmett. He could sense her staring at him, but was careful not to look at her. He didn't want to risk imprinting on her and ruining her life. So, he kept his eyes on everything but hers. He said nothing.

"Hi," came her small, unsure voice. He couldn't help but smile a tiny bit.

"Hello, Elizabeth," he returned, in that deep-bass of his. Lizzie felt her knees go weak at the sound of voice.

_Look at me_, she thought, willing him with her mind. _Please, look at me!_

Seth turned to face Nessie. "Enough, Renesmee. I have to go."

"But, Seth!" Nessie complained.

"No!" he yelled, causing everyone to jump into defensive positions. "Enough! No more! Goodbye, Renesmee!" He left Nessie standing there with tears flowing from her eyes. He'd hurt her, but he preferred hurting her emotionally to hurting her, or anyone else there for that matter, physically.

As he walked to the car, he heard small protests.

"Absolutely not!"

"Lizzie! No!"

"She can't!"

"It's too dangerous!"

Then came a final sentence, spoken by a strong-willed Renesmee, "let her go!"

They listened to her commands and let Lizzie go after Seth. Although, none of them really knew why she was so insistent upon speaking to him in the first place. Soon, he heard her behind him. "Seth!" she cried.

He stood by his rented Mustang and turned to face her, avoiding her eyes. It wasn't until that moment that he noticed the slight way in which she limped. His heart ached for her.

She surprised him by strongly commanding him, "look at me!" He didn't like being told what to do.

"No," he said roughly, causing her to wobble backwards.

"Please?" she asked sweetly.

_So, she suspects, too_, he realized. "You don't want this," he told her quietly, but firmly. "You don't want me."

"Maybe not," she answered honestly. "But, I do need you to look at me."

_Just do it, Seth!_ He told himself. _Just do it and maybe it will all be over. Let her take it all._ So, with more hope than he could ever remember having, he lifted his black eyes to meet her emerald ones. Her breath caught and she smiled, unsure of what to do next.

However, her smile soon faded as his hopeful face turned into a menacing scowl.

There had been no big shift in his world. No steel cables to bind him to her. She was more beautiful than any woman he'd ever laid his eyes on and her voice made him feel something inside he hadn't felt in a long time. But, still, he didn't imprint. He knew what it felt like. He'd experienced it over and over again in the minds of the other wolves, back when he was still able to transform. And, this most definitely wasn't an imprint.

So, it was true. The universe didn't give a shit. No inspiration. No faith. Only nothing as always.

"What a disappointment," he said. Then got in his car and drove away, leaving Lizzie standing in the dust, feeling nothing more than nothing.

***A/N: Okay don't curse my name just yet! Not all love is imprint love. Just keep that in mind! Lol**

**Also, what do you think about the third person pov? Better, worse, the same? Let me know!**

**Thanks for reading and please, please review!**


	13. Chapter 13 - Fake Imprint

***A/N: So, some of you may be thinking that this story has gotten to be lemon-less. Yeah, I just made up a word lol. But, I assure you that lemonade will be made soon enough! My mind is just way too dirty to leave it nice and sweet. The good stuff is coming! But, I do want the story to have more depth than porn lol. **

**Anyway, I was glad to see that someone posted that the twist at the end of last chapter was unanticipated. I really don't want this to be some corny story. An imprint was just way too easy and obvious! I'm excited to see where it goes from here. **

**And thank you to that same someone who commented on the third person pov! Happy to see you liked it!**

**Also, I'd really appreciate more reviews! I thought the last chapter would get a lot of reviews and was very disappointed that it didn't. I really do "feed" on feedback and I'd love to know what you all are thinking, so please, don't be shy! **

Chapter 13 – Fake Imprint

Third Person POV

_What a disappointment_. That's what she was to him – a disappointment. Lizzie stared at the ground in front of her, new tears streaming softly down her face.

_Of course, I'm a huge disappointment! Look at me! With my limp and stupid glasses! _She yanked the glasses off her face, threw them on the ground and stomped on them until there was nothing left. Her tears were coming faster now, as her mother's arms wrapped tightly around her.

_Who would want you for an imprint?! Disappointed? You are worthless! He imprinted and he doesn't even want you! _She screamed silently to herself. Elizabeth no longer tried to control her thoughts or emotions. She let them spill out, not caring who heard or who felt them with her.

The whole family was there, trying to comfort her. Although, most didn't understand exactly what was happening. "Lizzie," spoke Edward firmly, "stop that! Stop thinking like that!" Jasper laid his hand softly on her head and she began to feel herself slipping into a calmer state.

"No!" she yelled at him, stumbling backwards a bit. "Do not take this from me! Let me feel it!"

"Elizabeth, what in the world is . . . "Edward trailed off, finally realizing what her thoughts, her plans had been all this time. _How have I missed this? _He thought to himself. How had he overlooked her thoughts about Seth over the last couple of days? Why hadn't he been more attentive? He scolded himself. _So, he's imprinted on her. _

Jacob looked from his daughter to his father-in-law. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

Edward looked at Jacob, took an unnecessary large breath of air and spoke, "he's imprinted on her." There were several gasps.

"Uh oh!" said Emmett, chuckling lightly.

Edward looked at Emmett as if he was going to literally rip his head off, "and he called her a disappointment."

Emmett stopped laughing immediately as he processed everything. "Oh, hell no! Mother Fucker just signed his own death warrant!"

Jacob, who could no longer control himself, shattered out of his clothing and took off into the woods. Edward, reading his thoughts, spoke to the others, "We better go with him."

Lizzie stood, wrapped in her female relative's embraces, and wept. _Nothing but a disappointment. _

The Mustang's pedal was pressed against the floor, in danger of being pressed through the floor board. Hearing a soft crack, Seth eased up slightly. Needless to say, he was trying desperately to get as far from everyone as possible. To put as much distance as he could between himself and the great state of Washington.

His black eyes were on the road, but his mind was back at the church parking lot. _Of course, you wouldn't imprint on her you dumb shit! _

_You're not a wolf anymore! _

_That part of you died a long damn time ago! _

_What a fucking moron! _

_Putting all your faith into one look. _

_That's what you get! For hoping! For dreaming that life could have some sort of meaning! _

_Fucking! _

_Idiot! _

He punched the accelerator and gripped the steering wheel, leaving permanent dents where his fingers were. He had already gotten off of the reservation and was nearly out of Forks. He zipped around a tight curve deep in the woods, entirely focused on his thoughts. He slammed on the breaks as Edward, Emmett, Jasper and three enormous wolves jumped in front of his car. He'd considered just running right through them, but decided against it. However, their complete lack of respect for his choice to leave was really starting to piss him off.

Seth got out of the car just as Jacob, Masen and Billy transformed into their human selves. The other three stood there like the statues they appeared to be. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" yelled Seth, as he slammed the car door. He didn't even register the fact that he had shattered the window in doing so.

Jacob ran directly to Seth, fighting to keep himself in his human form, even though the rage was pumping through him, beckoning him to his animalistic state. He grabbed Seth by his black jacket. "No! You do not get to yell at me! So help me God, Seth! If I knew how to kill you I would, you son of a bitch!"

Everyone else behind Jacob took a step closer to the two of them. Seth's gaze calmly shifted from Jacob's maddened face to the others that had stepped forward. He then turned back to Jake who was still gripping Seth's jacket. Without breaking his stare, Seth reached for Jake's hand. Although, Jacob tried to hold on, using every bit of strength he could conjure, his efforts were useless against Seth's power. He easily removed Jake's hands.

Still holding hands with Jake, Seth began to squeeze until he heard cracking. Jacob felt the sharp pain and wanted to cry out, but his pride forced him to hold it inside. Seth spoke calmly, but strong. "Never. Get. In. My. Face. Again," commanded Seth. "You cannot," he said, cracking another bone, "control me anymore." He let go of Jacob's hands and pushed him backwards.

"That's it!" shouted Emmett. "You have pissed me off too many times, asshole!"

"Emmett! Don't!" commanded Edward, knowing full-well that Emmett wouldn't listen. Emmett lunged for Seth, who stood looking more bored than angry at the moment. As soon as Emmett had his hands on Seth, Seth tossed him to the side of the road.

"If it's not already clear," Seth said, talking to them as if they were children, "I'm stronger than all of you. This is like a gang of humans trying to beat up a vampire. So, don't push me too fucking far." He glanced back at Jake who had begun to reset his broken fingers, grunting as he did so.

"Despite how it may seem, no one is trying to gang up on you, Seth," stated Edward. "We are just a little upset at the moment. You have to understand that Elizabeth means everything to us and you have just insulted her greatly. Now, I didn't quite understand it at first, but once I finally got ahold of what was going on in that head of hers, I saw everything. I know that nothing can be done to break the bond of an imprint. It happened and obviously, you are not okay with it. And believe me; I want nothing more than for you to be as far from my granddaughter as possible."

Seth didn't respond. _They think I imprinted on her? _

Jacob rubbed his face with his hands, completely exhausted from all the recent activities in their lives. "Seth," he said, getting his attention once again. "You called her a disappointment. I can't let you say that to my daughter. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want you to go back and apologize to her. I don't even understand how you can say that about your imprint! How could you, Seth?"

Again, Seth didn't respond. He thought that perhaps he should've corrected them, but was finding a lot of amusement in the situation. _Now, this could be fun! _Only he had known that he hadn't imprinted. _I could play this out for a little while_, he thought evilly. _The Black-Cullen princess_. _Tempting_.

He looked at Edward to see if he'd read any of his thoughts. _Nope. Way too passive._ There was no doubt in Seth's mind that if Edward had in fact heard his thoughts, he'd attack in a second.

Jake spoke again. "You have to go back and apologize, Seth. Imprints aren't always understandable, or easy even. Hell think of Sam and Emily! Everyone knows that I wanted Nessie dead before I imprinted on her! I know this is much more complicated and no one, especially me, wants you near my daughter, but I do want you to tell her that you are sorry. Even if you aren't, you smug mother fucker."

Seth's head snapped to Jake's and for a moment, he considered snapping Jake's completely off. But, he swiftly reconsidered. _Let's see where this goes_, he told himself.

Seth surprised everyone in that moment. He bowed his head and looked at his hands that were held loosely in front of him. He spoke evenly, trying not to laugh at his internal joke. "Yes. I guess you're right. I guess I should apologize. But, Jake? I don't want this." He surprised himself by sounding so convincing.

Jake's eyes popped out of his head. "No one wants this!"

Seth nodded, appearing to be ashamed of himself. _Don't overdo it!_ _Still play the part of the jackass, just an imprinted jackass. _

"Alright," Seth said, sounding resolved in his decision. "How do I do this? I doubt she wants to see me at the moment."

"Hmph!" snorted Emmett, still irate about being tossed aside so easily. "Understatement, I'm sure."

Seth looked at Emmett with a condescending smile. "Oh! Come on! We are going to be family! No hard feelings, huh?" He offered his hand to Emmett, but before Emmett could shake it, Jake reached for Seth's arm and pulled it away.

"No, we are not, Seth! You are going to ask my daughter for forgiveness and then you are going to disappear. We are never going to be family. Get that straight right now!" Jake commanded.

"Well, technically," Emmett said, "you already are _family_." Everyone looked at Emmett like he had lost his mind. He rolled his eyes and explained further, gesturing with his hands. "Leah was Seth's brother. She was married to your son. So, he was JJ's brother-in-law and Leah was your . . . "

"We get it!" Jake screamed, completely exasperated. "And thank you for pointing out the obvious!"

"Hey, you were the one who said that you'd never be family! If it were so obvious, then why did you . . . "Emmett was interrupted by Jasper's whisper.

"Would you please shut up?"

Emmett grunted, sounding even more irritated than before.

Everyone turned their attention back to Seth as Jacob spoke firmly, "the point is Seth. You will go apologize to my daughter and then you will leave. No discussion."

"I can't do that, Jacob," Seth stated, looking defeated. "You know I can't really leave her. Don't ask me to do that." _Grammy's here I come! _

"Maybe he should just leave," suggested Jasper.

"No. I'm going back to her," Seth responded. "I dare any of you to keep me away from my imprint. Jake? Don't keep me away from her. Please?"

Jacob was still pissed that Seth had insulted his baby girl. He was infuriated at this unbelievable turn of events. His baby? Imprinted on by a monster? Had it been the good-old Seth from back in the day, he would have been thrilled. He would have welcomed _that_ Seth into his family with open arms. But, _this_ guy? He had never felt more torn, like he always did when he thought of what Seth had become. After all, Seth had been trying to protect Nessie when he was bitten. Jake owed him that much.

Seth had saved his imprint and now, although a father's need to protect his daughter was undeniable, he also felt in his heart that Seth would never harm his own imprint. He may have said something completely inexcusable to her, but he wouldn't actually _hurt_ her. He stood there for several minutes, contemplating the situation. Finally, he gave in. Seth's face told him all he needed to know. Seth looked so genuinely sorry. _Give him a second chance_, Jake told himself.

"Fine," he conceded. "But let me be very clear, Seth. I don't give a fuck how strong you are, how fast you can run or if you are imprinted on my daughter. You hurt her like that again, or EVER hurt her physically and I WILL find a way to destroy you."

He didn't ask Seth if understood. What was the point? Of course, he'd understood. _He damn well better, _thought Jacob.

Seth nodded his head once in agreement. "So, where is she?"

"I don't know. Maybe still back at the church. Maybe at the house. Maybe _you_ should find out."

Seth fought back the urge to punch Jake right in his face. "Careful, Jake. I didn't imprint on you," he warned. "Watch how you talk to me." Seth didn't like to be talked to that way. Didn't like to be told what to do. Then again, that was all Jacob knew-being an Alpha, barking out orders (no pun intended).

Jake took a step forward, shaking from head to toe, but was stopped by Emmett's large hand. "What the hell, guys? You gonna make up and kiss or kick each other's asses? Make up your damn minds!"

Seth and Jake stared each other down for a moment. Finally, Seth, trying to play the role, backed down. "Sorry." So good at acting, Jake and all the others believed him. Everyone relaxed a bit.

"Then let's go find her," Jacob instructed.

Seth grinned. _And so it begins._

Back at the Cullen home, Lizzie was finally letting Carlisle give her some meds to calm her nerves. Her brother's death had been bad enough, but being rejected by her imprint? How was that even possible? Lizzie sat in her Poppy's bed, surrounded by her mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and two aunts, who all sat on the bed with her in a small circle. All of them were deeply worried not only about Lizzie, but also about the others who had undoubtedly gone after Seth.

"She'll probably get a little drowsy," Carlisle said. Then he left the room, closing the door behind him to give the ladies some privacy.

"I'm so sorry, honey," Nessie said, resisting the urge to run off and kill her once best friend. _If he can be killed_, she thought.

Bella was still fuming, but trying her best to hide it from her heart-broken granddaughter. She still couldn't believe it had happened. She had once adored Seth. He was always so kind. But, he'd, unfortunately changed too much. She sat there, deep in her worried thoughts.

Lizzie leaned onto her mother's shoulder and grabbed Rose's hand. Rose squeezed gently and said, "I'm sorry, too, baby. You didn't deserve that. He certainly doesn't deserve you."

"Deserves better," Lizzie whispered.

"What?"

"No!"

"Don't say that!"

"It's true," Lizzie said, sobbing once again. "What can I give him? What can I possibly do for him?"

"Since when did you become so weak?" Alice asked. "Are you honestly going to sit there and believe all those ridiculous things coming out of your mouth?! If I were you, I would go find him and tell him that you are the one that is _disappointed _and he can just kiss your perfect ass!"

"Really?" Lizzie asked, unsure.

"Of course! Why should you sit here feeling guilty when he's the asshole in this situation?" Alice questioned.

"Alice," warned Bella. "Don't be so dramatic." _Even though he is the asshole_, Bella thought to herself. Alice smiled at Bella.

"You see? You know I'm right!" Alice exclaimed. No one could deny that their feelings matched Alice's. Although, they may have had a little more tact than to say it as she had.

Lizzie was beginning to feel a little drowsy and a little . . . courageous. "You're right. I am not something he can just stomp on! I'm his imprint! What the hell was he thinking?" She got up, a little wobblier than usual and headed downstairs, as the others followed her.

"Elizabeth, where are you going, honey?" asked Esme, concern filling her voice.

"To find him! Stupid jerk! Thinks he can make me feel worse about myself than I already do! I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm also not a _disappointment_!" She swayed in her short, white nightgown to the front door and yanked it open and started for the garage.

As she headed down the front steps of the large house, she was stopped by her uncles. "Where is he?!" she yelled, taken aback a bit by the strength of her own voice.

Emmett barked a laugh. "He's coming. In his car."

She tried to hear the car, but her hearing just wasn't good enough. She stomped her foot in frustration. "Ugh!"

Emmett looked at Jasper as Jasper said, "Maybe we ought to get out of the line of fire." They retreated to where their mates stood, along with all the others, on the steps.

Masen and Billy came out of the woods at that time. Samantha and Teresa quickly ran to them, grateful to have their wolves safe at home. "Shit's about to hit the fan," Samantha said.

Teresa spoke next, "I don't know who should be more afraid. El o ella?"

Masen and Billy took a look at their sister's stance. "I think him," Masen said.

Lizzie squinted her eyes and found car lights coming down the road. Soon, she could hear it. She straightened herself as much as she could, wanting to appear as strong and confident as she possibly could. Even though she felt like a house cat trying desperately to be a tiger. The car came to a stop in front of her. Edward, Jacob and Seth stepped out of it. She felt her heart skip a beat and then blushed, realizing that everyone, including _him_, was sure to have heard it. She silently cursed her own heart for betraying her.

At the sight of Seth, Rose and Bella growled. Alice hissed. Emmett laughed. Jasper held back Alice. Masen and Billy growled. Samantha and Teresa made a funny noise in their back of their throat and Nessie lunged. She was on top of him before anyone could stop her. She beat her tiny hands against his chest and face and he let her, completely unharmed by the situation, feeling nothing as always. Only annoyed.

Nobody tried to stop her. In fact, she could hear some in the back urging her on, but eventually, when she saw she was doing no damage, she stopped. She got off of him, looked him straight in his eyes and said, "If you ever hurt her again, I WILL find a way to kill you."

Seth smiled a bit and looked at Jake. "Did you tell her to say that? Or was it just coincidence that you both practically threatened me the same way?"

Jake smiled the cockiest smile he could, but didn't answer. Although he was desperate to have his Nessie away from Seth, he also couldn't deny how damn good it felt to watch her kick his ass. Or try to anyway. In truth, it aroused him, seeing her so feral. Nessie went to join Jacob and he instructed everyone again to go inside. They all filed in, however hesitantly. Jacob was the last to go in. He turned to face Seth and gave him a look that was meant to intimidate. Meant to warn. _Don't hurt my daughter_, it said.

Finally, Seth was left alone with Lizzie. It was the first time he had actually gotten a good look at her and he loved what he saw. He started at her feet: small, neatly pedicured with baby pink nail polish. Her legs were firm, but not muscular. Her hips wide, waist small, framed by her thick hair. His eyebrow arched up at the sight of her breasts, slightly showing from the neckline of her white nightgown, which he realized accented her olive skin and gorgeous black hair perfectly. Her neck was long and he licked his lips, imagining just what it would be like to bite her there. Her lips were full and her eyes were the most perfect emerald green and they showed all of her . . . anger. He stepped back a bit at the sight of her menacing stare.

He cleared his throat. _Get it together!_ He scolded himself. He looked her in the eye and told her "Ugh. Yeah. I'm sorry."

Her mouth dropped open. He'd arrived, looking ridiculously perfect, causing a desirous pull in her stomach. He'd shown no remorse in so obviously, eyeing her like a piece of meat. Although she wanted to find that offensive, she actually really liked it-him looking at her like that. But, then he went and opened that sexy, albeit stupid mouth of his. She put her hands on her hips and opened her mouth to speak. She shut it, unsure of exactly what to say. She opened it again, but again, closed it.

"I have a feeling you want to say something," he said, like the smartass he is.

She thought of her Aunt Alice's words, smiled and repeated them. "I'm the one that is _disappointed_ and you can just kiss my perfect little ass!"

He smiled. "Really? Well then turn around and bend over." He took a step closer and she took one backwards. He reached out, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close to him. She yelped slightly and tried helplessly to pull away. He didn't release his grip on her. He glared at her for a moment and for a moment she felt scared. Then he whispered to her in a frightening tone, "You shouldn't say things so enticing if you don't really mean them. Could get you in trouble."

He let her go and she wobbled backwards. "That's all you have to say?" she asked incredulously. Mimicking him, she lowered her voice, "'Ugh. Yeah. I'm sorry.' You are a jerk!"

He smiled at her poor attempt to sound like a man, "was that supposed to sound like me?"

"What?"

"That was a horrible impersonation."

"And you are a horrible apologizer!"

He shrugged his shoulders in the most nonchalant way. "Never claimed to be a good one."

"Well, I think you should try harder! Because at this point you have no chance in H-E-double L to get me on your good side!" Somewhere deep inside of her she knew that was a partial lie. She knew she wanted him badly.

At this Seth barked out a laugh. "Did you just spell the word hell? What's wrong, Princess? Don't like to say bad words?"

Lizzie felt herself getting more and more irritated by the minute. "You're not listening to me!" She yelled, stomping her foot.

"Hmph. Bella used to do the same thing," Seth said, pointing to her foot.

"Ugh! You are infuriating! You selfish! Immature! Rude! Son of a bitch!"

"Well. Nice to finally meet you, Princess," Seth said, impressed that she'd finally come out of her shell and smiling to himself as he remembered thinking of her as the Black-Cullen princess. "Wanna go for a walk?" He didn't like the idea of everyone in the house listening to everything that was being said between the two of them.

The question threw her off for a moment. _How can the same man be so rude and so charming?_ "Umm . . . I guess. I just need some shoes." She started toward the house and when she realized that he was following her, she turned to face him and said, "You can wait out here." And then she slammed the door in his face.

_Spunky_, he thought. For a moment he considered what he was doing to her. _She doesn't deserve to be manipulated. _

But, that moment passed as quickly as it had come. _Ah! Who gives a shit?_

Lizzie's heart was pounding, her breathing ragged. She felt slightly dizzy. She couldn't decide if they were the meds that Carlisle had given her or the exhilaration of what was happening to her. Either way, she felt wonderfully awful. She finally found some white Converse tennis shoes and slipped them on. She looked at herself in the mirror and decided that she'd just stay in her night gown. After all, where were they going to go that it made a difference?

"At least put on some pants," her father said from behind her.

"What does it matter?" she asked innocently.

"Trust me. It matters. Listen to your Daddy and put on some pants," he ordered. From somewhere downstairs she could hear Emmett laughing and Rose scolding him. She rolled her eyes and decided to put on a pair of black leggings under her night gown.

"Better?" she asked Jacob.

"Not really, but I guess it's better than nothing." Jacob was extremely preoccupied, his mind constantly questioning his judgment about Seth. _Should I let her leave with him? Can I really trust him? He better not do anything stupid. _

Lizzie grabbed her flashlight off the nightstand and headed outside.

Seth waited for Lizzie to come outside, grinning devilishly when he heard Jake telling her to put on more clothes. _What a shame! Eh. One more piece of clothing to tear off is no big deal._ When he heard her turn the door knob, he turned around and marveled again at her beauty. _You really are fucking gorgeous, Princess._ He even liked the way her glasses slid down her cute, little nose.

"Not all night, Seth," said Jake through the door.

Seth looked at the door with a scowl on his face._ Mind your own fucking business!_

He looked back at Lizzie who was watching him expectantly. "Ready, Princess?" He held out his hand. She looked down at it and considered taking it for a moment, but then decided against giving him that privilege.

She walked past him. "I'm not your princess. And I said ass, by the way."

"What the hell are you talking about and what the hell do you need a flashlight for?" he asked, a little pissed at the fact that she hadn't accepted his hand. _Who the hell does this girl think she is? _He turned to follow her and again, his heart ached a bit at the slight way she staggered as she walked down the gravel road that led to the highway.

She clarified her earlier statement by saying, "I need a flashlight, because not all of us can see in the dark and earlier you asked me if I didn't like to cuss. I had already told you to kiss my ass if you remember." She walked as fast as she could, arms crossed as if they could somehow shield her from him.

"Oh I doubt that I could ever forget such a wonderful invitation," he said, angrily. She looked at him, wondering if he was being sarcastic or serious. His face didn't portray any signs of sarcasm. He just didn't look too happy.

"Are you always so angry?" she asked him, not taking her eyes off his face. He turned to look her in the eyes and she immediately felt that fearful desire pumping through her again.

"Yes. And I could ask you the same thing."

"I have a reason to be angry with you. What's your excuse?" she demanded, again shocked at her ability to sound so forceful.

"Ha. Need more than just one walk to go over that one," he stated coldly. "And besides, I'm not going into that with you." They continued walking.

"Why not?" she questioned, clearly irritated.

"Because, I don't want to."

"But, I'm your imprint. Shouldn't you get over all this broodiness and just talk to me?"

"Maybe. But no."

"What does that mean?"

"Do you always have so many questions?"

"Do you always have so few answers?" He stopped and pulled her to a stop with him, holding on to her elbow.

"You are starting to piss me off," he said calmly, but meaning every word.

She couldn't believe what she'd heard. "I'm starting to piss you off?! What have _I_ done wrong? You know what? I started this conversation pissed off and now, I'm even more pissed off!"

His eyes warned her. She shut up for a moment as he collected himself. She was beginning to push him too far. "You need to watch your mouth with me," he cautioned. "Trust me, _Princess_. You do not want to see me get _too_ angry."

She couldn't hide her fear. At that moment, she was afraid. The look in his eyes, the way his jaw was set, the tightness of his fingers around her arm, his body so tense and towering over hers: he intimidated her. And, he noticed. He sensed it. Seth relaxed himself a tiny amount. "I've apologized and now I'm asking you that we start over."

The thoughts in her head screamed at her, leaving her no other option. _Give him a break. He's probably forgotten what it is to feel. You should be more compassionate. Help him. He needs you. _"Okay."

Seth let go of her arm and felt himself relaxing even more. "Now. I have a feeling that they can still hear us. We haven't gotten very far," he complained. He saw the hurt look on her face and said. "Don't be all sensitive. I'm just saying that I could get us somewhere much faster and we could have more privacy."

She hated her body for it, but felt the flush of blood to her cheeks. He wanted her alone. The thought thrilled her. "Okay," she answered again. _Trust him. You are his imprint. He'll take care of you, even if he is a jerk. He won't hurt you._

His lips turned up slightly and then she was flying – faster than she had ever gone, even with her Poppy, the fastest of her entire family. She closed her eyes and held them shut, laughing at the excitement of it all. Finally, she felt him come to a stop.

Seth looked down at her in his arms. She was laughing and smiling and he couldn't help but smile with her. She opened one eye and looked around as if to ask, _is it safe for me to open both eyes? _He chuckled deeply. "You're safe." Then he sat her down.

She was a little upset to be out of his arms, but didn't think too much about it. "So, now what?" she asked nervously.

"Good question," he said, smiling so widely she caught a glimpse of his fangs.

She swallowed hard and thought _Oh God._

***A/N: AH! Finally! They are kind of together! I can't wait to see where this story goes. I mean, obviously I have the idea in my head, but the little details should be fun! I think other writers can agree with me: It's like watching a movie play out in your head and sometimes it just takes on a life of its own. It's so cool! **

**So, I know you must be thinking that Seth really is an asshole, playing up the whole fake imprint thing and he is, but don't be too hard on him just yet! **

**And some of you may wonder why the family would let her go with him. Jacob believes in the imprint and the imprint says that Seth'll die before hurting her, right? So, keep that in mind.**

**Also, remember that according to a previous chapter, Edward's, Alice's and Jasper's gifts do not work on Seth. **

**And, please, please, please review! **


	14. Chapter 14 - The Deal

***A/N: Welcome back! This will be the last chapter for a while. Probably for at least a few weeks. But, it has been fun and like I promised before, I will come back. Until then, let your mind wander to where this might be going. **

**I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 14 – The Deal

Seth's POV

She stood in front of me in her cute, little, white nightgown and black – What did they call them? – leggings. She really was beautiful.

"So, now what?" she asked me, casting her flashlight near my face.

_She's too trusting to be here with me, _I thought.

"Good question," I said, smiling at the way she bit her bottom lip. _Just like Bella_._ What I would give to bite that lip._ Suddenly, she looked very anxious, staring at my face. It took me a second to realize what she was looking at.

"Do they scare you?" I asked her. "My fangs?" She smelled divine, like nothing I'd ever smelt before. Her scent promised the most delectable combination of nourishment and . . . power. I was resisting only by some odd, newfound willpower. Perhaps it was simply the thrill of the little game I was playing. It was obvious that she was frightened by me. And, why shouldn't she be? She was in the presence of a killer. The fact that the family had let her come with me was laughable. How naive could they be?

She admitted in a tiny voice, "a little, but not so much. It's just . . . different." She offered a tiny smile, clearly worried that she'd offended me. I laughed a short laugh.

"Yeah, well, there are a lot of things about me that are different from what I'm sure you are used to." I sat down on the forest ground and beckoned her to take a seat beside me by patting the earth. She seemed a little unsure.

I tried to give her a reassuring smile and joked, "I can't promise you that I _won't_ bite, but I promise I will _try_ not to." That seemed to do the trick. I watched as her shoulders relaxed infinitesimally and as she stepped forward and sat beside me. We both looked out over the ridge. It was actually a nice night out, no rain for once. But, I wasn't about to comment on how amazing the fucking stars were. I'm just not that guy.

"I think," she began, pointing toward her house, which was all lit up, shining brightly in the middle of the darkness. "I think that's my house." I looked at her face and watched as her eyes squinted, trying to see the light in the distance.

"It is," I confirmed. "So, you don't see very well, huh?"

Her head snapped to my face, looking utterly offended. "Ugh! You have no tact!"

I shrugged my shoulders and defended myself, "Look, Princess. I have never claimed to be a nice guy, a good apologizer or to have tact. I'm not a good guy and you should really get that into that sweet head of yours." She opened her mouth to say something back, but I stopped her. "But, just for the record, I didn't mean for that to offend you. It was just a question."

She closed her mouth and became thoughtful for just a moment. "No. I don't see well. That's why I wear glasses, why I take a flashlight with me at night. My sight is . . . shit."

Her honesty and openness shocked me. I admired her for her bravery to admit these things. It's never easy to reveal your weaknesses. I responded, "And, obviously, you have a big problem with it or you wouldn't be so touchy about it." I leaned back on my elbows and crossed my ankles together.

"Obviously," she agreed. She didn't turn back to look at me. She sat still, as I admired the way her hair fell in the most perfect of ways down her back. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. Her next words surprised me even more. "It's not easy being the freak of the family."

I laughed and she turned to face me. "Why are you laughing at me?!" she demanded. "I'm trying to be honest and open and reveal things that I've never revealed out loud to anyone and I'm only doing that because I'm your imprint and you are supposed to care about me! And comfort me! And not be laughing at me like I'm a fool!" Tears began to swell in her eyes and as one spilled over, onto her cheek, my laughing ceased completely. I had never felt like such an ass and I actually found myself feeing . . . guilty.

"I'm sorry, again. It's just a little comical to me," I tried explaining. She looked at me like I had completely lost my mind. "You think you are the freak of the family? What? Because of the way you limp around? Because you wear glasses? Because you need a flashlight to see at night?" I paused for a moment. "You, Princess, are more normal than all of us. We are the freaks. Not you."

She didn't seem too satisfied, just turned her back on me and muttered, "Hmph. I guess."

We were quiet for a few minutes and I felt a little peaceful for the first time in a long time. She was the one to break the silence. "I'm sorry about your sister. I loved her very much. And she loved you very much."

That brought back the anger. "Don't talk about my sister," I ordered, much more harshly than she deserved. I saw her back flinch a little, so I softened my tone. "Please. I don't wanna talk about her, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry about JJ."

"Thank you," she replied, in that small voice of hers. I heard her soft sobs then, although she was clearly trying to hold them back. I sighed deeply, rolled my eyes and figured this would be the perfect time to touch her. So, I reached my hand out to her and placed it on her back. She tensed slightly and so did I.

The most amazing thing happened when I touched her. I felt. I felt her shirt beneath my hand. I felt the warmth of her body radiating into my hand. I felt her. My eyes popped as I caressed her tensed back. I was in awe. Then she asked a question that broke my heart.

"Why were you disappointed to have imprinted on me?" she asked.

I felt like a piece of shit. "I didn't mean it like that. You aren't the disappointment and again, I'm sorry."

"I would understand you know. I mean, I know I have a lot to offer, but I'm also weak, frail." She turned around to face me causing my hand to leave her back and I found myself feeling frustrated at the absence of the feeling. I leaned back again on both elbows. She took a deep breath, as if preparing herself for some big revelation. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked me in the face.

She spoke frankly then, "I'm not crying because I'm sad. These are happy tears. I never thought this would happen for me. Just yesterday, I was afraid of dying alone. I've always been the one without a partner. I've watched as they've kissed at midnight on New Year's and how they traded flowers on Valentine's Day, not that I really care about that stupid holiday. I've had to hear them go on and on about romantic weekends, or romantic birthday gifts and even some things that weren't so romantic, but . . . dirty. And, I was always happy for them. They deserve that, but I was also very selfish, in that I always envied them for having it when I didn't."

She didn't stop there. She kept speaking and I was no longer sure if she was talking to me or to herself. The words came out of her mouth in an unconscious manner it seemed. "And, then I always had to suffer the pity Valentine's Day gifts and the pity kisses on the cheeks on New Year's. Always! And I know how it sounds! I know I sound selfish! But, I feel like I can tell you. Even though you have seriously offended me and made me very upset several times since we've met. Which, if you think about it is pretty crazy, considering we just met a few hours ago."

She took a deep breath, clearly having had run out of oxygen. I couldn't help but smile. "And I know that I shouldn't want to be here with you, especially after the way you have been a complete and total ass, but I do want to be here. I do and why? That's a good question. I keep asking myself that, but why ask that question when it is so obvious."

Her soliloquy did not appear to be stopping anytime soon, so I laid all the way back, putting my hands under my head and listened as she got it all off her chest. She spoke almost manically, but I found myself liking it very, very much. "I want to be here and you came back, even with all your issues, which I have no doubt are plentiful, because we are soul mates. Like it or not, we are meant to be together!" A huge smile broke across her face and my smile disappeared.

_What have I done? _ I asked myself. _This is the worst thing you have ever done. _

She continued on, "And I know how cheesy all this is! Soul mates, imprint, blah, blah blah. But, it's true and it's happened to us! And, now neither of us has to be alone ever again. I'm not so naïve to think this is going to be easy. You have some serious demons to conquer. I mean, I have heard the stories, but I can help you. I want to help you. And I think that it's because I've gone so long, wanting so badly, to be someone's imprint that I want to be the best I can for you! "She was smiling widely now, that smile that makes one's cheeks hurt. But, she didn't seem to mind.

"And I know that you are probably thinking that I am going to be the biggest romantic pain in the butt. But it's not like that. I just have to say this or I think I will explode." She finally stopped, taking in large breaths of air. I sat up to be closer to her.

I kept my eyes on her face, so stunning and innocent in the moonlight, so full of hope and love and faith in what she thought was the truth. _How can you do this, Seth? You can't. Don't ruin this girl._

I started to tell her the truth, but she cut me off, holding up her hand. "But, don't misunderstand me. I want this. I want this so badly. I've wanted it all my life. But, I will not be taken advantage of, or abused, or misused in any way."

"Elizabeth," I began quietly "Let me talk now." She nodded, giving me permission to speak. In a matter of seconds, a dozen ways of breaking the news to her raced through my mind. I decided to go with the blunt version. I inhaled deeply and let it out.

"I did not imprint on you," I said, in the most straightforward manner I could manage. I waited for her response.

Soon, she was smiling. _She thinks I'm joking_, I realized. I smiled back at her, trying to be as cool about the situation as I could. _Maybe this can be one of those things we both just laugh about._

"I'm not joking," I laughed, just as she was doing. "I didn't imprint on you. I mean, I thought that maybe I was going to, but apparently that part of me died twenty-five years ago when I was bitten. So, there I was in the church parking lot, thinking I'm going to imprint on Nessie's daughter, but nope. Nothing!"

Her laughing slowly died down. Then her face showed nothing but pure confusion. "I don't get the joke."

"I told you. I'm not joking. I'm dead serious about this." Her jaw dropped. I waited for her explosion of anger as the realization hit her, but it never came.

"Huh," was all she said. A look crossed her face that I didn't quite recognize and then she was literally rolling on the forest ground with laughter. At that point, I was the one who was confused, but I joined her in the comical moment.

In a flash, much faster than I thought she would've been capable of, she jerked up, grabbed my hand and then all I felt was the most excruciating shock of pain. It rolled through my body in waves and I wanted to scream in agony, but I couldn't even muster that. A part of me wanted nothing more than the aching to stop, but the other part was gloriously happy. It had been years and years since I'd felt pain, other than that little incident with the girl from the café; and so, more than anything, I welcomed it.

After what seemed like forever, it stopped. I opened my eyes to find her over me, still laughing. "That," she began, speaking matter-of-factly "is for letting me believe that you'd imprinted on me and for letting me make a total fool of myself, you asshole!"

She was leaning over me. Her black hair cascading around my face and she had caused me more physical agony than I could remember feeling. _I love you, Princess_. From out of nowhere, the thought had hit me and I couldn't deny the truth of it.

"How did you do that?" I asked in complete amazement.

"A gift I got from my cousin Tanya," she said, sitting up and scooting away from me. When she did that, I felt like a toddler who wanted nothing more than to throw a temper tantrum. I hated the idea of her leaving me.

"Tanya? From Denali?" I asked intrigued.

She nodded in confirmation, still giggling."Yep."

"How did you get her gift?"

She threw her arms in the air. "Who cares?" she shouted, slightly hysterical. She stood up and screamed as loud as she could, "I'm such a fool!"

I realized then that I'd pushed her over the edge of sanity.

She doubled over as another laughing fit her. "I seriously thought that you'd . . . I just poured my heart out to you! And you don't even care! You are just a horrible, mean man. Oh, God! All the times in my life that I have felt like an idiot! None of them top this moment!"

I felt awful again as I watched her break apart. I stood up and put a finger to her lips, trying to ignore the amazing way they felt. It had been so long since I'd felt a woman's lips on my fingers. "Elizabeth, I really am sorry. I wanted to get back at your family. It had nothing to do with you really. It was just me being me, just like you said a mean man. I really am sorry." And I meant every word. I felt full of remorse and even more self-hatred than normal.

"You know what? Don't even worry about it! This just confirms everything. I am not worthy of an imprint and I will surely die alone!" Her face turned extraordinarily unhappy. "I'm always going to be alone." Sagging her shoulders, she sighed in defeat.

I hadn't even thought about the words before they came out of my mouth. "How can I make it up to you?"

Elizabeth plopped back down and she pulled her legs to her chest, but she remained silent.

I waited for a long while, a half-hour probably, as she stared out, looking toward the bright lights coming from the Cullen house. Her silence was starting to make me angry, so I asked her impatiently, "Elizabeth?"

She looked at me. "I know what you can do. To make it up to me."

"What?" I demanded harshly.

"Lie."

"Lie?" I asked.

"Yes, lie."

I waited for her to explain and when she didn't I asked her. "Can you expand on that a bit?"

"Lie to my family. Don't tell them that I'm not your imprint. I don't want to be the pathetic girl anymore. I can't take all their pitiful looks again. Not right now. When the time comes, I'll tell them the truth, but when I decide. Until then, lie."

More attracted to her than ever, I felt my evil grin spreading from ear to ear. _This is turning out even better than I thought. _"I can do that."

"There's one more thing," she said.

"Okay."

"You have to stay with me at all times. Poppy will hear all this in my thoughts the moment that you leave my side, so …"

I interrupted her. "And he can't if I'm with you?"

She shook her head. "No. Something about you blocks out their gifts."

"But, not yours? Cause you just electrocuted the hell out of me."

"I don't know!" she yelled. "I don't have a damn manual about all this!"

"Don't yell at me, Princess!" As much as I adored her, I could still sense the monster in me, wanting to come out and play. She shrank back as I shouted at her.

Looking a little unsure, she began to speak again, "Can I finish part two of how you are going to make this up to me?" I nodded in consent.

She spoke slowly, but I'd never seen someone so focused, so sure of what they want. "I need you to stay with me, so that Poppy can't hear the truth about us in my mind. Then, I want you to take me away."

My head jerked back in surprise. "Take you away? Take you away where?"

"A road trip. From here to Boston, where my family lives now and that's when I will tell them the truth about us. But, I just need time away from them."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. For as long as it takes."

"For as long as it takes to do what?" I wondered.

"I don't want to say. Not yet."

I sat there for a moment, trying to take all of it in. _This is not how I saw this day going._

Then, she said, "And I pay."

"You pay? For the trip?"

"Yes. You will be my employee."

"Ha! Your employee?" She nodded, looking as if she hadn't just made a very strange request. "How does that work?"

"You do what I say. To an extent. " I started to get a little excited. _This better be some sort of sexual thing. I could get into that. _

"Why can't you just do the whole road trip thing yourself?" I pondered.

"Because," she began, "I need your help. I think you are the only one who can help me with what I want."

"And now we get down to it. So, tell me Princess. What is it that you want?" I actually felt giddy to hear her answer.

"To feel bad."

"Okay. Let me get this straight. You want to feel miserable? Who the hell wants that?" I decided that she'd completely lost her mind. She obviously didn't know what the hell she was saying. The poor thing was in shock.

"I didn't say anything about wanting to feel _miserable_. You took it the wrong way. Wrong synonym. Let me try it like this . . . I don't want to be the pitifully perfect, little angel baby girl of the family for just a little while. I want to be . . . bad." She smiled and the wild look in her eyes made me harder than I ever thought possible. But, she made me understand. She was tired of behaving perfectly, of being trapped in the bubble she lived in.

"So, what do you say?" she asked, all business. "You do these things for me. I pay for the trip. And then I forgive you for being a dick. Do we have a deal?"

Never had I felt so aroused. She was perfect in all the ways and this was my chance to spend more time with her. I wasn't going to give it up. Offering my hand to her, I consented, "Deal."

Shaking my hand and causing me to nearly cum in my pants, she said. "Deal."

She stood up and I followed her motions. "Let's not waste any time. Let's get on with it. You should probably carry me. If we walk, it'll take us hours to get back."

"How do we do this? When we get back to your house?" I asked her, completely enthralled in the little game we were about to play together.

"I thought I'd follow your lead. I imagine that you've had a lot more practice in the area of deceit than I have."

"Good point." I scooped her up in my arms. "So you want to be a bad girl. Tired of being the Black-Cullen Princess?"

"Nobody calls me Princess or Elizabeth as you've been doing. I only get called Elizabeth if they are worried about me. Or if I'm in serious trouble."

"Well, Elizabeth," I began, speaking as dark as I could. I felt her shiver. "If you're with me, _you are_ in serious trouble."

She smiled broadly, her teeth shining in the light of the moon and whispered, "Perfect." I shook my head, still taken aback by her plan. She had certainly surprised the fuck out of me. I would've never guessed that she would be so . . . tempting. But, that's exactly what she was . . . tempting. The exhilaration of it all was nearly more than I could handle.

Too soon, I arrived back at the house and sit her down on the front steps. "Come in with me. Stay near me," she instructed. I nodded sharply, thrilled at where this was going. "Imprinted face," she said. I put on the cheesiest fucking face I could and she gave a sharp nod of approval.

We entered the house and everyone soon joined us in the living room. I was reeling. This was so too damn exciting. We stood in front of everyone as they looked at us in the most suspicious way. Elizabeth spoke to the whole crowd. "We're fine. Better than ever, really." I smiled stupidly, pulled her close to me and put my arm around her, just as I had seen imprinted wolves do with their ladies. They all watched us carefully, observing every movement we made. Especially mine.

I cleared my throat and spoke next. "We really are fine. I know I didn't start this thing off too well, but I'm hoping that I'll have a thousand lifetimes to make it up to her." I took her chin between my fingers and brought her gaze to mine. I stroked her cheek, trying my best to appear to be the sweet-loving imprinted fool. I turned my attention back to the family. "And, to all of you, too of course. I know that I've made so many mistakes and I can't promise that I won't make more. My nature makes it difficult for me to be caring or compassionate in anyway. But maybe now, with Lizzie . . . " I looked back at her and she returned my smile sweetly.

Some of the family members bought our little act completely. Some still looked uncomfortable, but accepted our story as the truth.

I took the lead and explained the idea of a road trip back to Boston, where we would catch up with them. Some, like Nessie and Alice, thought it was a romantic idea. Others, like Jacob and Rose, hated it. But, in the end, they conceded without too much fight.

After a long night of chatting and drinking decaf-coffee, which tasted like ass, everyone decided that those who needed rest should probably go to bed. "Do you sleep, Seth?" asked Carlisle. He'd asked several questions about me throughout the night and although they annoyed me a little, I recognized the care he took to ensure I didn't feel like a "science project," as I had once put it.

"Yes," I answered him. "I do sleep and I enjoy it." Everyone smiled.

"I so wish I could sleep," said Esme. "I miss it so much!" Bella and Edward nodded their heads, agreeing with their "mother."

Elizabeth, who had continuously surprised me throughout the night, following my deceitfulness perfectly, stood up and announced, "Let's go, Seth." She held out a hand to me and I took it willingly.

Jacob and Edward jumped out of their chairs, "Whoa! Whoa!" shouted Jacob, stepping in front of us. "You two are not sleeping in the same bed."

But, of course, they couldn't stand up to their wives.

Bella spoke first, "oh, relax, Edward. This isn't 1920!" Edward started to speak, but one killer look from Bella cut him off.

Nessie agreed, "She's twenty years old and she is his imprint and that should be enough for you, Jacob. Let them go. I do, however, expect you to respect your great-grandparents home, Lizzie. Keep in PG. Understand?"

"Nessie!" Jacob protested.

"Don't Nessie me, Jacob. Either he sleeps in her bed or you both sleep out on the lawn."

I couldn't help the laugh that came out of my throat.

So, after all the good-nights and sleep-tights we went upstairs, into Edward's old bedroom. Elizabeth quickly went for a piece of paper and pencil. She wrote something down and then passed the paper to me.

_That was so much fun! _It said. _You did great! Keep up the good work. We will leave tomorrow just like you told them and then we can relax a little bit. _

I wrote back: _Sounds good. _I held it up and she smiled from ear to ear. Clearly she was enjoying this just as much, if not more than I.

Then I wrote: _Do I get to sleep in the bed with you? _She shook her head and pointed to the floor. That sucked big time.

She took the paper out of my hands and wrote: _Remember, don't leave me tonight! _

Before crushing the piece of paper into a pile of dust, I wrote one last thing on it and showed it to her.

_I won't. I promise._

***A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15-Bon Voyage

***A/N: So, school is going well. My students are very impressive this year, but that just means I have to raise the bar and I have been working my ass off; but, enjoying every minute of it! I'm lucky enough to say that I absolutely love my job!**

**I sat aside my Friday night specifically for writing this chapter! Lol..I don't know if that makes me a loser, but I turned off the cell phone and have shut myself in my apartment with a big pot of coffee and am ready to see where this chapter will go!**

**Also, I caught an error in my last chapter. I wrote that Lizzie had gotten her electric-shock gift from Tanya. As we all know, that is seriously incorrect! She got it from Kate. My bad! I don't know if anyone else caught that or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if some or most of you did. Oops! I will try to avoid those kinds of errors from this moment forward. **

**So, I will shut up now and let you read. Enjoy!**

Chapter 15 – Bon Voyage

Third Person POV

While Lizzie laid in Edward's old bed, lightly snoring in the most feminine of ways and deep in slumber, Seth laid on the floor wide awake, silently cursing himself for agreeing to stay in her room with her. It had been a bad decision all the way around.

Everything had been fine while they had exchanged their little notes back and forth, but then she just had to suggest that they both get some sleep before the long trip began. Which hadn't really been the problem. The problem began when she nonchalantly reached under her white nightgown and pushed her black leggings down her perfect legs. He hadn't gotten a glimpse of anything, but just watching her remove clothing from her body was nearly more than poor Seth could handle.

Lizzie had been oblivious to Seth's open-mouthed gawking as she'd removed her leggings and thrown Seth a couple of pillows and a blanket from the foot of the bed. She'd smiled at him sweetly, but had had many other things occupying her mind as she'd slipped gently into bed, removed her glasses and turned off the light.

_What a rush! _She'd thought. _I can't believe they bought it. I really didn't think they were all so naïve. But, of course they would be. An imprint is an imprint. I guess that's enough for them_. Her mind raced on, thrilled at the events of the evening.

Although, she'd originally been disappointed and heartbroken by Seth's admittance of not imprinting on her, she'd later found it to be the perfect opportunity and excuse to break free of the chains that held her bound as the "Black-Cullen Princess," as Seth now was calling her. Lizzie hadn't cared much for the "Princess" thing at first, but she'd found herself warming up to it, especially when it rolled off of Seth's lips.

_I like the idea of being a Princess, just a bad Princess! A naughty Princess! One who breaks the rules. Who does things she knows she's not supposed to do. _These thoughts had pleased her mind, and as she'd thanked God that Seth's presence blocked her Poppy's gift, she'd fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.

And had left Seth tossing and turning on the floor, fighting with every bit of strength he could find not to touch himself. He'd removed his shirt and pants and laid on the floor, half-covered, in boxer briefs only. He put his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, shaking his head from side to side, unable to believe just how aroused he was.

He'd been rock hard since she'd teasingly done her half-strip show. _She did that on purpose. There is no way she didn't do that on purpose. _His mind screamed at him, demanding him to touch himself, to relieve himself of the yearning that he felt pounding deep within his stomach, all blood rushing to that one spot. But he didn't do it. He kept his hands locked tightly under his head. He knew that Edward wouldn't be able to hear his thoughts if he'd decided to go through with it; however, he also knew that if he'd gone there, he would surely make a noise or two and it wouldn't take any special powers for all the people in the house to hear those noises. So, he resigned to simply shaking his head in disbelief and cursing himself silently.

Soon, the sun began to rise. Seth sighed in relief. After a long night of no sleep and somehow resisting the irresistible, he felt beyond drained. He sat up and rubbed his face roughly with his hands. _Fuck. I need a shower and a big ass coffee. _He stood up and stretched before turning to see the perfect figure that laid still, quietly asleep under the silk sheets. The silk clung to her body perfectly, outlining her in a very inviting manner. Seth scowled and growled lowly in his throat as he thought, _what have I gotten myself into? This is going to be a disaster. _

Seth yanked his clothes off the floor and went to the bathroom for a shower. He turned on the water and watched as the steam fogged the mirror. The night before, he'd felt with her. He wondered if he would be able to feel the shower, for the first time in years. He found himself to be very frustrated when he couldn't. For a moment, his head registered the obvious fact that he could only feel with her, but angrily he pushed the thoughts of that revelation to the back of his mind.

The scowl that had marked his face since first seeing her tiny form under the sheets hadn't left. Seth felt pissed. Really pissed. And frustrated. And annoyed. And angry. And irritated. And . . . hungry. He realized that what he was looking for was satisfaction and he knew that he wouldn't find that with her. The only way to do that would be to return to Edward's old bedroom, rip the sheets from her body, and that plain, yet sinfully sexy nightgown from her body, and plunge himself deep inside her.

But, he couldn't do that. Not to her. He'd already been an ass enough to her and she hadn't deserved it. He wouldn't hurt her again.

Although he calmly realized all of these things, Seth still felt the monster inside of him . . . pushing him to create chaos and to hurt someone. So in the shower, as he waited for his cock to finally soften, he decided he'd hunt. The monster wanted to play, and so did he.

He quickly got out of the shower, dried himself off and put on some off the clothes he'd stolen from the clothing store-a pair of jeans, a black button-up shirt and a black belt. He wore the black shoes he'd worn to the funeral. As he combed his hair backwards, he noted that he really needed to shave, but decided against it. He wove the sleeves of the black shirt up to his elbows and walked out of the bathroom, ready to run off and find someone to play with.

However, he was stopped short by Jacob who stood in front of him, still in his pajamas with his arms crossed. Seth stared down at him and inwardly laughed. _Never thought I'd be taller than the Alpha. He must be hating this. _Seth reminded himself that he was supposed to be an imprinted idiot, and tried not to look to condescending.

Jacob continued to glare at him for another moment before speaking. "I hope I can trust you. I hope that this imprint has made you more like . . . _you_. Like you were. But, since you can't phase and since no one can get into that head of yours, then I'm trusting my daughter. She says you are imprinted. So, I believe _her_. My problem is believing _you_."

Seth fought back the snarl in his throat, and the urge to rip his once, best-friend in two. His body stiffened as he felt the temptation, but he resisted and listened as Jake continued.

Jake let his arms fall to his sides and spoke in a defeated tone, and even looked the part of a beaten man. "I can't keep you away from her. I wouldn't do that to anyone who has imprinted. But, Seth. I AM BEGGING YOU. . . don't hurt my daughter. I've already lost one child. Please . . . just don't hurt her. Physically or emotionally." Jake's pleading eyes held Seth's amused ones, and it didn't surpass Jacob's mind that Seth was looking every bit the arrogant asshole that he'd become. But, still, Jake hoped for the best.

Seth inhaled deeply, smirked and said, "No worries, Alpha man!" He slapped Jake on the shoulder and kept his hand there. "I won't do anything that _she_ doesn't want."

Jake nodded, not really pacified or understanding the meaning underneath Seth's statement. Seth found it comical that Jake had no idea that his baby girl was just as capable of deceit and playing games as Seth was. She was the one who wanted the adventure. She was the one who wanted to continue to lie to her parents. She was the one who wanted to be "bad." But, her Daddy didn't know it. He was as clueless as the rest of them and that, Seth thought, was pitifully hilarious.

Seth returned to Edward's bedroom, still grinning about the exchange he'd had with Jake.

"What's so funny?" came _her_ small voice. His head snapped to the bed and Lizzie shrank back with fear as she registered the feral look on his face. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice shaking.

Seth found himself scowling and shaking his head back and forth again. "Can you not cover yourself up?" he growled at her, "I don't need to see that."

Lizzie followed Seth's eyes and looked down at her body. She'd kicked the sheets off of herself, and her nightgown was pushed up to her belly, revealing her white, cotton panties. She blushed and quickly pulled the covers over herself. She felt humiliated. _How can he possibly be that repelled by me? I am not that bad-looking! Some men happen to find me quite appealing!_

She looked at him and narrowed her hurt eyes to meet his angry ones. He hadn't moved an inch. He stood tall and rigid with tension. She cleared her throat and found the courage to speak, "maybe you should get out."

He growled again in the back of his throat. "Don't tell me what to do. And, I was going out. To hunt."

Lizzie shot up out of the bed, pulling the sheets with her and wrapping them around her tiny frame. She hurriedly stumbled over to him and he reached out a hand to steady her before she fell and smacked her head on the floor.

"God woman! Get ahold of yourself!" he commanded, partly still pissed off, but partly amazed at how the velvet skin of her arm felt against his rough hand.

Lizzie yanked her arm out of his grip and _mouthed_ the words quickly, "you can't go." She'd done it so fast; Seth hadn't caught what she'd said. He'd been too wrapped up in the disappointment of her yanking herself away from him. He wanted to feel her, but clearly she didn't want him touching her.

"What?" he asked, angrier than when he'd come into the room.

Lizzie tried again, mouthing the words slowly, "you. Can't. leave!" She pointed to her head and then he remembered. He couldn't leave, or Edward would hear her thoughts.

"Son of a bitch!" he yelled. He began to yell a string of curse words, but instead let out a scream of pain as Lizzie sent a shock wave through him. It had gone as quickly as it had come. He looked down at her with a face that said, "what the fuck?"

Lizzie felt that her revenge was more than justified. "That was for insulting me when you came in!"

"Insulting you?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," Lizzie explained quietly. "When you said you didn't need to see _that_." She gestured to her body, still wrapped in the sheets.

Seth couldn't believe it. He had been trying to warn her. She couldn't look so inviting around him. It wasn't safe for her. She didn't understand, but that was fine with him. Better for her to be insulted, than for her to be violated violently. Frustrated with the previous night and the current moment, Seth went to the notepad, picked up a pen and wrote a message to her.

Lizzie reached for it, momentarily happy to be back in their little game, but still feeling offended by his remark. She read the message quickly and became infuriated. On the piece of paper was written: _I don't think I want to do this. It's too dangerous. I want out. _She reached out, grabbed him by the throat and shocked him again. This time so hard, that he fell before her to his knees as the pain rocked through every nerve in his body.

Seth hated and loved the agony that was pounding through him. Despite his convulsing he was able to look up her and was shocked to find himself a bit frightened by the look in her eyes. She looked . . . dangerous and wild, he realized. Lizzie's hand grasped firmly around Seth's neck and she watched as his eyes slowly rolled into the back of his head and his body fell limp to the floor.

After a few moments, the electric currents slowly came to stop and Seth was finally able to open his eyes again. He looked up at her from the floor and saw her sitting calmly at Edward's old desk. She was writing. She stood up and walked over to him, smiled sweetly and handed the folded note to him. He sighed and opened it, not moving from the floor.

_You will do this. You owe me. You have insulted me. You have lied to me. You have hurt me. But, most importantly, you have promised me. You won't leave my side. Consider this a challenge. Are you up for it, Seth? Or will you run away? Like you always do. _

That pissed him off. _How dare she? Who the fuck did she think she was? _

Seth stood and approached her, trying his best to intimidate her. She didn't budge; her face said that she wasn't afraid of him. But, he knew better, he could hear it. Seth grinned, leaned down, their noses nearly touching each other and whispered, "Your heart gives you away."

Lizzie frowned and cursed silently in her head. _Damn my skipping heart! _She could control her body, for the most part. She could control her face, but she couldn't control her heart that flew at a pace far beyond normal for her. He scared her and they both knew it.

But, she wasn't going to let the arrogant son of a bitch win this one. She grinned and stepped even closer to him. She met his gaze evenly and spoke seductively, "maybe so, but remember, with one touch, I can have you down on your knees in front of me."

Seth couldn't stop the fang-revealing smile that took over his face. She was right of course, and they both knew it. Seth felt himself grow hard again. _God, woman, you are amazing_, he marveled. And she looked it. With her black hair wildly tousled from a long night's sleep, her glasses slid slightly down her nose and her body wrapped in silk sheets-she was a beauty. Seth breathed deeply, commanding himself not to shove her against the wall behind her and fuck her until she begged him to stop.

He grabbed her by the back of the neck and ignored her gasp of surprise. He brought his lips to her ear and felt her sink against him. Lizzie couldn't fight the gasp, or the sigh of desire as his lips touched her ear. She felt him grin against her earlobe. Seth thrived on the reaction she had to his closeness and whispered, "Challenge accepted, Princess."

Grabbing a handful of her hair, he yanked her head back and glared into her eyes. Lizzie felt the pain that his grasp on her hair created, but more importantly, she felt the wash of wetness between her legs. She blushed, knowing full well that he would smell it. And he did. Her arousal sent a wave of desire through him, but he didn't show it.

_Why can't I affect him as he does me? _Lizzie wondered, pouting over the current situation.

He smiled coolly and ordered her, "take a cold shower, Elizabeth." He let go, reluctantly, of the handful of her silky, black hair and left the room, jumping out of the window and into a tree nearby. He made himself comfortable and watched with male pride as Lizzie sank down into the desk chair, breathing heavily and looking dazed.

Lizzie _hated_ her body at that moment. _Damn that man! He always has to have the last word. _When she found herself able to clearly think again, she stood up and went to take a very cold shower.

Later that evening, as the sun was going down and as the Mustang, with a broken window, sped down the interstate out of Forks, Lizzie felt herself relaxing. The good-bye moment had been a little more difficult than she'd anticipated; but, she was happy to be away from her family. For the first time in her life, she felt free.

"Okay," Lizzie began, in her all-business tone. "First things first. Aunt Alice and Poppy helped me this morning to develop a very efficient plan for our trip." Seth rolled his eyes, but she continued on as if nothing had happened. "And of course, my Nana is wonderful at making trip itineraries, so I asked her to help me with ours." Lizzie opened her laptop computer and turned it on, revealing an itinerary. She quickly minimized it and pulled up a map. Seth already felt irritated.

"As you can clearly see," she stated, "our first stop should be the car rental place, where you will thoroughly apologize for the broken window and I, as the agreed upon financier of the trip, will pay for the damages. There, we will pick up the new vehicle. I have selected an SUV for our trip. Much more comfortable than this car." Seth remained silent, staring out at the wet road ahead of him.

"Then," Lizzie went on, "we will head down to Lake Tahoe, which I have heard is just gorgeous this time of year. Poppy has kindly taken the liberty of getting us the best room at THE top-ranking hotel and I have the reservation right here. I just have to . . .HEY!" She was quickly cut off by Seth grabbing her computer and tossing it out the window. She looked back in time to see the pieces of her computer scattering all over the interstate.

Lizzie looked incredulously at Seth's calm face. He said nothing. His face portrayed nothing. He just continued to drive.

"Um, excuse me?" Lizzie asked, still trying to understand what the hell had just happened. "Why did you do that? Do you have any idea how expensive that computer was? It's not even on the market yet! And, we spent all day planning . . . "

Seth's calm voice cut her off, "Maybe your whole quest to be bad and to separate from your family should start by you not doing everything just the way they do it, by you not using their hotel reservations that your _Poppy _books for you and by you not planning every damn second of it."

Lizzie laughed sarcastically. "I see. So, we should just drive around aimlessly like a couple of morons who haven't got a clue about what they want?"

Seth looked at her evenly and asked darkly, "is that how you feel? Like a girl who doesn't know what she wants?"

Lizzie's eyes narrowed. "That is not what I meant."

"That's what it sounds like," Seth responded.

"But, it's not what I meant!"

"Okay, Elizabeth," said Seth, tired of the conversation. "Then what did you mean?"

"I meant that it makes more sense to plan everything well, so that we get the maximum benefit of the trip. That's all! And now we are going to have to go to a computer store, I'm going to have to buy a cheap-on-the-market computer and start all over again!" Lizzie crossed her arms in front of herself, and sank into the seat.

"Awww," began Seth in a tone as if he were speaking to a child, "don't cry, Princess. I'm sure your Daddy can get you another not-on-the-market laptop."

Way past annoyed, Lizzie turned to him and pointed a finger at his face. "Do. Not. Treat. Me. Like. A. Child." She warned. "I am not a child!"

Seth turned his irritated glared to meet hers. "Your poutiness suggests otherwise, Elizabeth." Lizzie opened her mouth to argue, but Seth's words cut her off. "You want an adventure? I can take you on a wild adventure. You want darkness? I can deliver that, too. But, you are going to have to relinquish control. This won't work your way."

"Why not?" she wondered, truly curious at his words.

"Because, you don't know anything about being wild and dangerous. You want that? Then let me give it to you. Let me be in control, so that you can lose control." His black eyes met her emerald ones and it happened again-that flush between her legs.

_Damn it!_ Thought Elizabeth.

Seth chuckled darkly as the scent hit him. "I'll take that as a yes." Lizzie buried her hands into her face and tried uselessly to hide her embarrassment.

She couldn't deny that his words had made sense to her, and had unfortunately aroused her. From the corner of her eye, she looked at him and was amazed at the way he sat so carelessly. He seemed completely at ease; meanwhile, her heart had sped up, her breathing was ragged, her panties were wet and she was all kinds of nervous.

But, what Lizzie didn't realize, what Seth didn't reveal, was the way in which her closeness, her scent, her heartbeat, her breathing, her _everything_ sent Seth into a whirlwind. His mind spun faster than hers. Compared to Seth, Lizzie was in a state of complete tranquility.

Lizzie unconsciously chewed on her lip and sighed with resignation, "fine. You take control. But, it ends when _I_ say it does. The trip, I mean. When I have what I want. When I accomplish my goal."

"Which is?" Seth wondered.

"I won't tell you. So, don't ask again."

"But, how can I help you to get what you want if you don't tell me what it is. Obviously, there's something more you want. Something more than being _bad_."

"Yes, there is," Lizzie admitted in a small voice.

Seth was exasperated. He was not a fan of guessing games. "So, you have to tell me or I can't help you."

"No! And save us both time and don't ask me again."

Seth groaned. "Fine, stubborn woman." Lizzie couldn't help but laugh a small laugh.

They rode in silence for a few minutes before Lizzie spoke again. "Where to first?"

"Car Rental and then clothes. I like the idea of getting an SUV."

Lizzie already found herself confused. "Great, but why do we need clothes? Do you need clothes? I guess you do. I only saw that little bag you've got."

Seth nodded. "A couple of outfits would be nice, but no. The clothes aren't really for me."

Lizzie laughed and pointed out the obvious. "I don't need clothes! In case you haven't noticed, the backseat and trunk are filled with my bags. Which are filled with _clothes_."

Seth grinned, "yes, but the wrong kinds of clothes."

"What exactly are the 'wrong kinds of clothes'?" Lizzie asked.

"I saw you packing. White, cotton panties are cute and can be sexy, but they aren't for the bad girl."

"Now you are insulting my clothes, as well!" Lizzie yelled. Suddenly an aggravated look came across her face as a thought hit her. "You better not throw my suitcases out on the interstate! I will . . . "

"Relax, Elizabeth," Seth stated, "I won't throw them out as long as you agree to buy what I tell you to buy in the store. And, then wear it when I tell you to wear it."

Lizzie's mouth dropped open, "How did this become _your_ trip? I thought _you_ were _my_ employee. Not the other way around!"

Seth's smile showed all of his excitement. His black eyes gleamed and he spoke, sending a wave of desire through Lizzie's body, "funny how things change, huh?"

***A/N: So, hope you liked it! Expect the next update in about a month or so. If I have time, I will update before then, but **_**only if**_** I can find the time. But, remember: I won't abandon the story! I will be back. **

**So, until next time! Hope you enjoyed it and please, pretty please . . . review!**


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